When the Crocus Blooms
by Maerwyth
Summary: Life in Arendelle goes on. Anna is still searching for True Love, but Elsa has found it - across the hall. When Anna discovers that Elsa is in love with her, it sends her own emotions spinning. Can the sisters come to terms with their feelings for each other, and will Elsa be forced to choose between her crown and happiness? Slow burning Elsanna; rated M eventually.
1. Chapter 1

**Author Note:** This story contains themes that may make some readers uncomfortable. If femslash or the thought of two consenting adults engaging in a relationship that is considered taboo in the real world offends you, then this story is not for you. I welcome reviews and critiques, but the world already has enough hate, so please keep your flames to yourself. There are many other wonderful stories on this site, and I won't be offended if you choose one of them instead.

 **When the Crocus Blooms**

by Maerwyth B

Chapter 1.

"What was I thinking?" Anna groaned as she replayed the scene that happened a few hours earlier.

True to her word, she had arranged to replace the sleigh Kristoff lost during their trip up the North Mountain, and on top of it, Elsa had given him an official title. Maybe her excitement overwhelmed her common sense, or maybe she didn't have any common sense to begin with, but she'd let his gratitude get way out of hand.

"Well, at the time it seemed like a good idea," she muttered, climbing the stairs toward the private wing she and Elsa shared. At the time, it _did_ seem like a good idea. After all, he was obviously in love with her, and she was certain she was in love with him.

At first, she'd been wary; she'd met Kristoff the day after she met Hans, and even though she didn't hate him, even though he'd risked his life for her, she wasn't going to make the same mistake twice.

After the initial uproar settled down and that bastard Hans was shipped back to the Southern Isles, however, she found that she liked Kristoff more than she first thought. Elsa seemed to like him too, in as much as she seemed to like anyone. So, for the past several weeks, she had been spending a lot of time with him, up in the mountains and in town. He was very familiar with the landscape and Anna soaked up everything she could about the countryside she had only heard about for so many years. It really seemed to her, as they explored together, that she was falling in love with him.

"And then today happened." Anna instinctively wiped the back of her hand across her mouth, trying to erase the memory of what was supposed to be her first kiss from her True Love. It _was_ her first kiss, but definitely _not_ her True Love. "What am I going to do?"

Elsa would laugh at her when she found out; laugh, or lecture her. Anna couldn't decide which. Her sister seemed to be adjusting to her new role—mostly—but now and then, something made her pull back into herself. When that happened, she appeared much more like the Ice Queen the rumor mills of Eraulia were still buzzing about than the cheerful woman who turned the courtyard into a skating rink in celebration of throwing open the gates after so many years.

It seemed she was in one of those Ice Queen moods now. She'd agreed to the new sleigh and even offered the title of her own accord, but her smile was emptier than before, her laughter muted to the point of being almost absent. When she found out about the kiss, she was likely to be very displeased.

However, Elsa was the lesser of Anna's problems. Kristoff was the first and foremost trouble in her life, after that afternoon and his giddy assumption that she loved him back just as much as he loved her.

"How am I going to tell him he's wrong?"

She reached the double doors that closed off the sisters' private chambers and smiled somewhat wanly at the guard standing beside them. She would have chatted with him on any other occasion; today, however, all she could manage was a weak hello. He bowed in response and held the door for her, closing it again once she had passed through.

Anna breathed a sigh of relief once she knew she wouldn't have to deal with anyone until she wanted to. At the moment, all she wanted was a nap. Elsa was certainly downstairs in her offices, busy with business of the realm, so she looked forward to an hour or two of solitude and silence.

"I never thought I'd look forward to solitude," she said with a pained laugh. "Or silence. Well, live and learn, I guess."

"Live and learn what?"

Hearing her sister's voice made Anna jump, and she spun to find the Queen coming out of her own door with a startled look on her face. "Elsa! Um, hi! I thought you were downstairs … you know, being Queen and doing that ruling-the-country thing. I mean, you're always the Queen, of course, but … isn't there some treaty or something you were dealing with?"

Elsa studied her, her expression turning slightly exasperated. "I don't have the right to take afternoon tea in my own sitting room?"

"Ah, of course you do!" Anna wasn't ready to tell her sister what had transpired, but she was afraid Elsa would sense something was amiss and press her as to what. "I was actually just going to … um, there's still time before dinner and … well, a nap sounded nice, so I was just going to take one. Just a nap, for no reason."

"Anna, stop babbling." Elsa's gaze narrowed and her face started to color. "Is something wrong?"

Anna tried not to blush. "No! No, of course not; what could be wrong?" She laughed nervously. "Everything's great, just wonderful. How're you?" _Argh, how idiotic can you sound, Anna?_ She stared at the ceiling. "I mean…."

"Did Kristoff not like his sleigh?" Elsa frowned and her voice wavered just a bit. "Don't tell me he doesn't want the title. I had to write an official proclamation, have the Council debate it, and then endorse it to give it to him. That's a lot of paperwork."

"No-no-no … he loves it …them … I mean—" Anna stopped and drew in a deep breath to calm herself. More slowly, she continued. "He was thrilled with both; he told me to thank you, since you're too busy to bother with him. I mean, not that you wouldn't bother with him, just that you've got better things to do. Wait, what?" She coughed. "Since you're very busy. Being Queen and such."

Elsa stared at her, an unexpected nervousness dancing across her face. After a long, silent moment, she shook her head and sighed. "Something clearly happened, Anna. If you don't want to tell me, that's fine. I _do_ have more important things to worry about than Kristoff, actually. Don't forget that we're having a formal dinner tonight with the trade envoys from Farson and Grottony. So for Freya's sake, get it together before then!"

"Get it …" Anna's jaw dropped. "Geez, Elsa! You don't have to be _that_ blunt, you know."

"Unlike you, I try to express myself so that there is no misunderstanding as to what I mean." Her sister crossed her arms. "And, if I'm not direct, you don't listen to what I'm saying."

"Yes, I do!" Anna protested. "It sounds like something's _wrong_ with you." Elsa growled and glared at her, and her face reddened even more. "Not something's wrong with _you_ , I mean, something's on your mind." She drew in a deep breath and let it out, trying to calm herself enough to not stick her foot in her mouth again. "We haven't had bedtime tea in a while; let's have it tonight, with tarts and chocolate truffles. We can just talk about silly stuff."

Her sister frowned again, started to speak, and then glanced away. "Maybe; I have a lot of work to get through and I may not be finished in time for tea."

Anna looked at the carpet. She didn't want to admit that she really needed her sister's strength in handling Kristoff, but she needed it just the same. "Oh. Ok. I just thought you might want to spend some time together, that's all." There was no response, and when she looked back up, she was almost certain there were tears in Elsa's eyes. "Elsa?"

"I … I do want to spend time with you, Anna. I really do. I just … have too much going on right now." Elsa smiled, though it seemed forced—and a little guilty. "I'll try my best to be done in time for tea, ok?"

"Promise?"

"Promise."

Anna smiled back, glad her sister at least _wanted_ to pay some attention to her. Being near Elsa always made her giddy; all of her troubles seemed to fly away, leaving behind only the warmth and comfort of curling up on the settee and leaning against Elsa's shoulder while her sister read a book.

Elsa seemed to enjoy it too, often slipping her arm around Anna's waist, pulling her closer, and holding her in what felt like a gentle, protective hug. When they sat like that, in a comfortable silence, Anna wanted nothing more than to be by her sister's side forever. She didn't quite understand how quickly Elsa had become a vital part of her life, vital beyond their shared parentage, but she had.

When she was distant, as she was now, there was an ache in Anna's heart that would only be calmed by her sister's smile. She didn't understand why, but even Kristoff couldn't make her feel less alone. _Of course, I'm not in love with Kristoff, so I guess that makes sense._

She missed the nightly tea they were in the habit of having together. She missed the sound of her sister's voice, her laugh, and how the blue of her eyes became deeper and more intense when she spoke of their years apart. In short, she missed Elsa — which was a little confusing, considering they saw each other several times during the day, if only in passing. But miss her she did. Elsa's promise to try to have tea lifted a remarkably heavy weight off her soul.

Her heart skipped a few beats and then calmed down. Maybe Elsa was coming out of whatever funk she'd been in for the last week. Maybe Elsa could keep her from sliding into her own over Kristoff and everything that came with that. "Ok, then. I'll make sure I behave at dinner, too."

The Queen made a noise that might have been a chuckle. "Thank you. I'll see you at dinner, then."

"Sure, at dinner." Anna started toward her own rooms; the sound of Elsa's door shutting made her pause and look back. Her sister wasn't in the hall, meaning she'd gone back into her room. _That's weird. Didn't she say she had a lot of work to do?_

After several moments, she shrugged. Elsa would do whatever Elsa decided to do. She'd promised do her best to be finished with her work before bedtime tea, and that was all Anna could hope for. More pressingly, she needed time to process what had happened with Kristoff, to process that kiss and why it made her feel the way she did—and the way she didn't.

Hopefully, by bedtime she could relax and enjoy sitting by the fire with her sister the way they had before Elsa started pulling away. She looked forward to chatting and getting to know each other again, instead of trying to walk on eggshells, feeling like Elsa was avoiding her for some unknown reason. She wanted to be able to ask for advice in what to do about Kristoff and the kiss and not be lectured or chastised about it, which was the only way her sister seemed to respond to her lately.

 _I suppose she'll tell me in her own time. I think it's harder for her to open up, since she didn't really speak to anybody for all those years. I just wish I knew what was wrong, even if I can't fix it._ With a final glance back down the hall, Anna went to lie down.

* * *

Elsa leaned against the hard wood of the door that separated her from her sister and wiped at her eyes to clear the tears that threatened to start flowing. She hadn't expected to run into Anna, not when Kristoff had a new toy to play with and would certainly take her for a ride—or at least talk at length about it, given that it was late summer and the only snow lay at least an hour away. In fact, she'd planned on it.

Anna had looked hurt when she snapped about dinner, and Elsa felt bad that she'd pushed so hard to escape what she was afraid would be a conversation she did _not_ want to have with her little sister. She'd been snapping a lot in the past week, and not just at Anna, but she couldn't help it when she was so terrified of someone realizing what had put her in such a foul humor to start with.

 _How long was she in the hall?_ Elsa stared at the ceiling, praying that Anna's fumbling wasn't due to overhearing what had happened too few minutes earlier. _No, she'd have done more than fumble if she heard me._ A wave of guilt washed over her; not only had she done what she did, she'd done it in the middle of the afternoon on a Wednesday. She rubbed her forearm across her eyes again as they misted over once more.

She wasn't completely certain when she'd fallen in love with Anna, but she had — and hard. In less than two months, the joy of reuniting with the sister she'd last seen as a small child had turned into raging, mind-numbing hunger for the grown woman she'd just met. Worse, she'd finally figured out exactly what it was she wanted, and how she would do it given the chance.

"I am such a horrible sister," she muttered. "Absolutely horrible. I have to get this under control, before she _does_ find out about it."

Elsa managed to chuckle, though weakly. It was a little hard to believe she could control anything regarding Anna when she had just spent an hour in her bedroom imagining that the fingers touching her belonged to her sister. How could she control anything when all she could think about was seeing Anna naked across her bed?

She hadn't lied when she said she had a lot of work to do. She'd pushed back a meeting with two envoys from important trade partners, on the pretense of taking an early tea, so that she could come upstairs and fantasize about her little sister.

The meeting was intended to assuage fears that Arendelle wouldn't be stable enough to continue trade with, due to the new Queen's ability to freeze summer—and people. It wasn't an uncommon worry throughout the rest of Eraulia and Elsa knew it, just as she knew that it was vital to assure those that Arendelle did business with that nothing would change with her ascension to the throne. The two men now drinking tea downstairs with the Minister of Trade were perhaps the most important to convince of that.

She'd postponed such an important meeting solely because thinking about Anna being with Kristoff made her so jealous she couldn't see straight. When she got jealous, her only recourse seemed to be laying claim to her sister in her mind. At first, her fantasies had been fairly innocent, staring into space and wishing that she was the one Anna talked incessantly about and not that oafish mountain man.

In the last week, however, they had become far more graphic and found a physical expression that only fed her growing dislike of him. Why her sister would find anything attractive about a clumsy ice cutter, who was as dumb as a box of rocks and held lengthy conversations with his reindeer—in which he voiced _both_ sides of the discussion—was beyond her. That she might do with him the things Elsa wanted to do with her made her want to freeze him solid and dump him in the North Sea.

"Stop it, Elsa! You have no rights to her." Speaking the words aloud did nothing to make her accept them any more readily. "She's your sister—your little sister, and nothing more."

Except she was; for thirteen years, all Elsa thought about was Anna —worrying about Anna, yearning for Anna, loving Anna. It was one sister missing another, nothing more, but all those innocent feelings vanished somewhere around the time Anna punched that bastard Hans in the face and sent him overboard.

She didn't fall in love at that moment, but she did realize that the Anna who threw herself in front of a falling sword, the Anna who gleefully sent the man responsible for trying to kill them both swimming in the fjord, was _not_ the five-year-old she remembered.

It was at that moment when she saw first saw Anna, not as her little sister — even though she was and Elsa still loved her as such — but as a beautiful, fiery, fully grown stranger who tugged at parts of Elsa she hadn't even known existed until then.

"Ok, ok, Elsa, get it together. Farson and Grottony are too important to ignore like this." She drew in several deep breaths and tried to settle herself down, to regain the calm, cool state of mind that allowed her to deal with the diplomatic duties that she, as Queen, was expected to take on. That calmness was particularly important now, given what the coming meeting was about.

A knock startled her and she jumped; ice crackled across the floor. "Damn it, Anna!" She pulled the door open, fully expecting a redheaded fireball to bowl her over with some new, utterly unintelligible nonsense that she would listen to, for no other reason than to hear her sister's voice. Whom she met was Bridgette, the woman who served her as a combination handmaiden and personal secretary. "Oh. It's you."

The older woman gave her a stern look. "You're extremely late, Your Majesty."

"I know; I was already on my way."

Bridgette made a noise. "I suggest you get on your way a little more quickly. In case you forgot, Farson and Grottony are not on the best of terms with each other, and those two downstairs seem to be taking it to heart."

Elsa blushed. "Ah. I did forget about that." She smoothed the front of her dress to distract Bridgette while she turned the ice back into water vapor, and managed to smile. "Perhaps you could refresh my memory on the way down. You seem to know more than my advisors, anyway."

"Yes, Your Majesty."

Elsa glanced down the hall in the direction of Anna's doorway when she joined Bridgette. She would try to make it for tea; perhaps mindless chatting would help her put her thoughts about her sister back where they belonged. It hadn't so far, but she had reached the point of grasping at straws—and at Anna, when she could get away with it.

Anna clearly thought Elsa was just being affectionate when she pulled her closer on the settee, but the arm around her sister's waist held more than sibling fondness—at least, for Elsa. _I have to keep her from sitting so close to me—especially now that I know I could—_

"Did you enjoy your tea?" Bridgette interrupted her thoughts as they threatened to take a very inappropriate turn.

Elsa jumped slightly. "Oh. Ah. Yes, thank you. The strawberries were very nice." Realizing a slight flurry had developed overhead, she moved her fingers surreptitiously to dispel it and hoped her companion hadn't noticed. "What time is dinner planned for?"

The pair crossed through the double doors and Elsa waved the guard back to his ease. Anna would have stopped to inquire about his health and whether his children had been successful at school, but she was still unable to make idle conversation the way her sister did.

"Quarter past seven," the older woman replied. "The Ministers of Trade and Economy will be joining you with their wives, as will Lord Fritzen, of course, though he will be alone. His wife is ill, so remember to ask after her health."

 _Great, Lord Fritzen._ The vice chair of the Royal Council, he attended most official meetings that she did, primarily to keep her from committing some faux pas she had not yet been trained to avoid. She didn't particularly like him, and it seemed the feeling was mutual. Any time he had to correct her, it was usually preceded with some acerbic reminder that her father would not have made the same mistake.

They were cousins, though not close ones, and he seemed to think that gave him the right to treat her like a child, not the ruler of his country. She was terrified of him, the only reason she hadn't snapped yet, but the temptation was growing stronger every time they met. Eventually, there would be a confrontation, but not until Elsa felt comfortable enough in her role to dismiss a high-ranking member of the Royal Council.

She was fortunate that Mister Johansen, the Minister of Trade, was sitting in with her for this meeting; Lord Fritzen would have verbally harangued her until she changed her mind and proceeded as planned. _Though in this case, that would've been smarter than what I did do._

Elsa nodded. "Of course." She paused before her thoughts turned to something more pleasant and she chuckled quietly. "Anna said she was taking a nap, which means someone will have to set off a cannon in her sitting room to get her up in time to appear."

"I'll remind Astrid to start early." Bridgette chuckled as well. "That is one thing time hasn't changed for either of you; you still wake up if the wind blows and your sister could sleep through an avalanche."

"Well, let us hope one isn't required to get her to dinner on time."

They continued down the stairs and started toward Elsa's official offices. She nodded to staff as they walked, trying to remember to smile, and to use their name, if she could. It was still a struggle, interacting with others in more than a formal way, but Anna urged her to try and so Elsa did.

As they drew close to the meeting room, where she would have to rehash what happened at her coronation — and likely provide a dozen assurances that it wouldn't happen again – the sound of arguing became audible, interspersed with Mister Johansen's calm voice.

"I'll send Nils with brandy," Bridgette said quietly. "Remember that Herr Karlsbaad will do everything he can to rattle your confidence, and Monsieur Salomon will refuse to believe anything you say until Mister Johansen repeats it. Refer any references to trade agreements back to him."

"And I'm dealing with them at the same time because…?" Elsa felt a headache coming on.

Bridgette gave her a sympathetic look. "Even though this meeting isn't specifically related to trade, Farson and Grottony don't trust each other and since they are both here, it will be much easier on you to do it this way."

"I'm told that trade negotiations have always included both countries at the same time; I know that there is a great deal of tension between them, but I don't see where that has anything to do with us."

"It's the only way to keep them from accusing us and each other of some nefarious plotting to give their opponent the upper hand in the pricing of goods," the older woman replied. "For whatever reason, they consider us as important allies and would likely go to war with each other if they felt slighted."

Elsa stopped and looked at her in disbelief. "They'd go to war just because we gave one of them a better deal on lutefisk? That's ridiculous."

"That's politics," Bridgette replied. "There hasn't been a major skirmish between them for six years; it's a new record, if I remember correctly. Understand me, Your Majesty; they're looking for a reason to fight. Arendelle's role is more mediation than trade."

"Great," Elsa groaned. "I'm not good at calming people down, you know."

Bridgette shook her head. "That's not your job, Your Majesty, though…." She paused and glanced at her charge with a sigh. "It is important to remain neutral. Your father had the same trouble, and _he_ could go hunting with them to ease the tension when needed."

"Well, I'm _not_ going hunting. Freya give me strength," Elsa muttered, then straightened her back and pushed into the room to prove that Arendelle's new monarch was more than capable of honoring the commitments made prior to her coronation — without freezing anyone or anything for annoying her. She rather thought it would be less painful than thinking about Anna for the next two hours.

Of course, anything would be less painful, and that knowledge continually pierced her with arrows of guilt and doubt. There was nothing she could do but soldier on and pray that somehow she would find peace without going insane first.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author Note:** This story contains themes that may make some readers uncomfortable. If femslash or the thought of two consenting adults engaging in a relationship that is considered taboo in the real world offends you, then this story is not for you. I welcome reviews and critiques, but the world already has enough hate, so please keep your flames to yourself. There are many other wonderful stories on this site, and I won't be offended if you choose one of them instead.

 **Chapter 2**

Astrid Nordsdötur stood beside Princess Anna's bed, wondering how much trouble she'd get in for pouring a pitcher of cold water over the sleeping form of her mistress. She'd been trying to wake Anna for fifteen minutes, and all she'd succeeded in doing was getting her to pull a pillow over her head. Of all the difficulties she'd had since starting as handmaiden to the younger of Arendelle's royal sisters, waking the Princess was definitely the hardest to overcome.

As the youngest of five children, Astrid had resigned herself to working in her father's shop for the rest of her life. Applying as temporary help at the castle during the coronation was a half-hearted whim, on the off chance she might get a short break from rearranging displays and dusting products and answering the same questions ten times a day. Being hired was surprising, even if it was only as a kitchen drudge, but being asked to remain after the new Queen decreed the castle gates would remain open was like a gift from the gods. Working in the kitchen was about as tedious as tending the shop, but at least at the castle there was hope for promotion.

That promotion came far sooner than she could ever have dreamed, although when chosen as Princess Anna's handmaiden — the first one she'd ever had apparently – Astrid thought for a moment the Master Butler had lost his mind. There were other girls closer in age to the Princess, and with experience in serving a noble house; none of them really understood the choice either – though given the Princess's behavior, there was far more relief than jealousy among them.

Princess Anna was not what one would normally consider proper nobility. From sliding through the ballroom in her stockings, to climbing onto the roof with a pocket full of sweets stolen from the kitchen, the redhead showed that she was anything but. It was generally held that Astrid, as the person now responsible for wrangling the Princess into some semblance of the royalty she was, had possibly the most difficult job in the castle. At times, Astrid agreed with them.

After a rocky start, she was finally getting the hang of her new position. Once or twice, she'd wished she could just go back to the kitchen and peel potatoes all day, but overall the adjustment went smoothly. She'd found a few ways to rein her charge in, but right now, she was at loss. The Queen's handmaiden had left a few minutes earlier, after the second conversation in the last forty-five minutes about the Princess making a timely appearance at dinner. It left her anxious to avoid the older woman's wrath, but at the moment she was failing spectacularly. As she debated climbing onto the bed herself and jumping on it until her mistress woke up, Anna rolled over and groaned.

"Astrid? Wh' time 'st?"

"Five forty, Your Highness. Her Majesty has sent two requests that you be on time for dinner and Miss Bridgette sounded quite angry just now." Astrid shifted nervously. She was almost more afraid of the Queen's handmaiden than she was of the Queen herself. Bridgette held one of the highest positions on the staff, despite being only thirty. She was certainly the most exacting, which had thus far led to more reprimands than Astrid cared to count.

It wasn't that Bridgette disliked her — as far as she knew — but it seemed she expected her to know exactly what a handmaiden did and how to do it, even if she'd never been told or shown. Unfortunately, this was precisely the sort of situation she would be unhappy to hear about, which left Astrid thanking several gods for her charge finally waking up.

Anna rubbed her eyes and looked up at the girl who now assisted her in her daily duties. Astrid was young and skittish, though Anna supposed she would be too, if thrust into such a position with no warning. She didn't make it any easier on the poor girl sometimes and she felt guilty about it, but learning to act like a proper Princess was challenging and often annoying — especially when it meant being separated from Elsa for what she considered no good reason. She resolved once again to try to make Astrid's life less difficult.

"I'm sorry." She smiled and tried to shake the last of the sleep from her head. "Elsa really does have a thing about being on time."

"It's generally considered polite," Astrid replied quietly. Bridgette would have her head if she was to hear the comment, but Astrid couldn't help herself. Sometimes it seemed that her mistress had not received _any_ training in etiquette—which was rather vital to being a princess—and occasionally she forgot whom she was speaking to and made the correction anyway.

Anna stared at her. She knew the reason the girl said what she did, but it was still a little startling to hear it. Astrid came from a merchant family and had more schooling than would normally be expected of a servant, but she was still only sixteen and her position did not include teaching her mistress manners — even when she deserved it.

When Anna failed to make any comment, Astrid grew concerned that she had overstepped her place a little too far. She dropped her gaze and coughed. "My apologies, Your Highness; I'll remember to keep my thoughts to myself from now on."

"You don't have to do that," Anna responded, finally fully awake. "And you have my permission to jump on me, that's what it takes to wake me up." When Astrid's expression turned to one of complete shock she added, "That's what I would've done."

"I… I had thought of jumping on the bed," Astrid stammered, wondering how her mistress could possibly have known she was even considering something like that. "But I wouldn't dream of jumping directly on you."

Anna laughed. "I suppose that's a relief, since the last time someone jumped on me, it was Elsa, and she was seven. You probably weigh a great deal more than she did." She fell silent; the memory was clear, but for some reason, the sense that she should be remembering more lingered around the edges.

Astrid watched her mistress's focus waiver and then return to her. "Do you want a bath before you get dressed?" Anna almost never bathed in the afternoon, but given the mistake of a few minutes ago, she didn't want to chance not asking and have this be one of the times she did.

"No, that's fine." Anna swung her legs over the side and stretched. The reason she'd decided to take a nap in the first place suddenly came to mind. "On second thought, I think I do. Blech."

Wondering where the exclamation of disgust came from, Astrid went to fill the tub, moving to select an appropriate outfit while the water ran. Despite being second in line to the throne of Arendelle, Anna had remarkably few clothes, and several of the fancier outfits hadn't ever been worn. Even so, Astrid took her time in selecting one, both to ensure that her mistress looked her best, and that Bridgette wouldn't take her to task yet again for not doing her job properly.

Anna watched her movements and wondered if she would ever get used to someone doing such simple things for her. She wasn't kept from interacting with the staff during the years that the gates were closed, but her nanny had taken care of her only until she was old enough to dress herself and fill the tub without flooding the floor below. After that, she was largely on her own, other than Bridgette approving her choice of clothing.

"It's ready, My Lady." Astrid draped a dress over the chair next to the bathroom door and smiled. "I hope this will be acceptable. Miss Bridgette told me twice this was a formal dinner, so I'm not sure if there's something specific you should be wearing."

"There isn't." Anna stood up and stretched again. "Bridgette only told you that so that you would remind me. And I'm fairly certain Elsa told her to tell you, so all it really means is that Elsa wants to make sure I get it together before I come downstairs."

Astrid cocked her head. "Get what together?" She stepped aside to allow her mistress into the bathroom, following after to take Anna's nightgown.

"I was having a less than pleasant afternoon," Anna replied, slipping into the tub with a sigh. "Elsa startled me and I must've babbled too much for her."

"Why was your afternoon unpleasant?"

Anna started to blush, but caught herself and splashed water into her face instead. "Kristoff, and let's leave it at that."

"Master Kristoff? Didn't he like his new sleigh?" Astrid was perplexed; usually her mistress couldn't speak his name without starting to giggle. Her expression now was anything but happy.

"He loved it." Anna tried not to remember what came next and failed. "Urgh, what was I thinking?" A noise from Astrid told her she hadn't mumbled the last as quietly as she thought, so she forced a laugh. "I was just feeling a bit ignored, that's all," she said as brightly as she could. "He kept going on and on about how much he liked it and not paying any attention to me, and I'm the one who gave him the damned thing. I was a little cross. That's all."

Astrid could tell her mistress was lying, but it wasn't her place to say so. Instead, she reached for the soap. "Do you want me to wash your hair?"

"No, just give me a chance to splash around a bit and I'll be ready." Anna held out her hand and Astrid obediently gave her the bar. "I'll be done in ten minutes, tops."

"Yes, My Lady." Astrid curtsied slightly before leaving the Princess to her own devices, and went to take care of the clothes Anna had been wearing earlier. It was unusual – extremely unusual – for her mistress to be unhappy about Kristoff, though Astrid couldn't think for the life of her what could've happened. "It can't have been much," she murmured. "She adores him and he adores her. I'm just wondering when he'll propose."

She wasn't the only one in Arendelle pondering the question; the two were almost always together, and appeared to be ridiculously happy with each other. In fact, they had become so close that the Queen seemed to be growing jealous of him. Astrid didn't see her often, but she could tell that the Queen's fondness for the Royal Ice Cutter was quickly fading, and had even heard her muttering about the amount of time Anna spent with him. It wasn't her place to say anything, however, so for the time being she kept her observations to herself.

"I'll bet Her Majesty won't be terribly upset to hear they're having a fight," she murmured, more to get the words out than to be heard. "Maybe she'll start having tea with Her Highness again. That would make my evenings much easier."

Speaking the words made her pause; even though she was certain that the Queen _was_ jealous of Kristoff, that jealousy had become obvious at the same time she started avoiding Anna. It seemed the more obvious the jealously, the more obvious the Queen was in avoiding her sister. The longer Astrid thought about it the less sense it made, so she gave up and turned her attention to preparing for her mistress to get out of the bath. Anna said ten minutes, which she knew meant half an hour. Once she got out, the more quickly Astrid could get her dressed, the more likely it was that she would get downstairs on time. Wondering about relationships and disagreements could wait for later.

Meanwhile, Anna was sunk in the bath is far she could get, hoping the hot water would ease some of the tension in her shoulders and confusion in her mind. Taking a nap didn't undo what had been done, but she felt a little better equipped to face Elsa and a bunch of diplomats she'd only met in passing.

"I hate formal dinners," she grumbled, "and we had to have one tonight, of all times." It suddenly occurred to her that perhaps the reason her sister had been so short with everyone lately had something to do with the envoys from Farson and Grottony.

Anna didn't generally involve herself in matters of the court, much preferring to roam the countryside becoming acquainted with the various farmers and merchants who kept Arendelle's economy growing. She left diplomats and envoys, treaties and trade agreements, and all that complicated stuff to Elsa, who had received at least some training in handling. From what she'd been able to gather, the current diplomats her sister was dealing with were particularly difficult, and particularly important, so it would make sense that she would be in a bad mood about it — though Anna couldn't figure out why Elsa would be avoiding her, if that were the only reason.

She splashed at the water absently. She'd been roaming the countryside with Kristoff, and thinking about it brought the issue she had been trying to puzzle out to the forefront of her mind again. _Why did that kiss feel so wrong?_ Even if she wasn't in love with him, she couldn't find a reason why his lips against hers made her feel so uncomfortable.

"Yeah, it wasn't the greatest first kiss in the world," she muttered, staring at the ceiling, "but it still shouldn't have felt so creepy." There was nothing about Kristoff she found creepy, so it confused her as to why she'd wanted to push him away; but she had, and would've if he hadn't stepped back so quickly. From the embarrassment on his face, it was obvious he didn't know what to do next, allowing her to escape with a few words about needing to return to the castle for a reason she couldn't even remember now. Hopefully, he wouldn't remember it either.

 _Maybe it's the way he smells._ Anna chuckled weakly, the words of the trolls providing a little lift to her spirits. "Or the way he tastes," she added aloud, as her mind focused in on the kiss itself. He didn't taste bad, but something about it, combined with the roughness of both his lips and how they pressed against hers, made her shudder. _If only he could kiss like Elsa. Her lips melt like butter._

It wasn't that she'd ever kissed Elsa on the mouth, but the feeling of her sister's lips against her forehead or her cheek always made her a little weak in the knees. They were soft kisses, but she could feel the love behind them, and somehow they always left her wanting more. If Kristoff's kiss couldn't make her blush and tremble more than her sister's did, then he was _definitely_ not her True Love.

Something in the back of Anna's mind flashed a warning signal about comparing the two, but she dismissed it as silly. A kiss of fondness and a kiss of love were two completely different things, and comparing how she felt when Elsa's lips touched her and how she felt when Kristoff's did was senseless. _Given a choice between the two, I would always choose Elsa, though._

Thinking about Elsa reminded her that her sister expected her to be on time and that she was wasting precious minutes worrying about why Kristoff's kiss made her slightly nauseous. The discomfort and confusion would simply have to wait until after dinner. If anything could lift Elsa's mood, it would be for Anna to be on time for something, and if Elsa's mood improved, there was a greater chance that she would keep her promise about tea.

In fact, if she was to be early… Anna sat upright and grinned. _I can be early! Elsa will be so shocked she'll have to agree to tea tonight._

"Astrid, I'm finished," she called as she reached for the towel sitting on the chair her handmaiden usually occupied. By the time the girl came in, she had already pulled the plug on the tub and was sitting down drying her legs.

Astrid was startled to hear her mistress's voice, as she had only just finished making the bed, but she moved quickly to the bathroom. Usually the Princess took her time getting out of the bath, but now she was nearly dry less than two minutes after calling for her.

"I didn't expect you to be done so quickly," she said, a little confused about the unusual speed. "I do have your clothes ready though."

"Well, when Bridgette is angry, it's best to do what she says," Anna replied with a slight smile. "Besides, I like to shake things up every now and then, and being early will certainly throw Elsa for a loop."

Astrid blinked several times. "Are you sure that's such a good idea? The Queen's mood hasn't been the greatest of late, and it tends to start snowing when she's particularly annoyed. It makes the floor slippery, too."

For a moment, Anna wasn't certain whether to laugh or be annoyed herself. The staff seemed to have grown accustomed to the occasional indoor flurry, but this was the first time anyone had mentioned them specifically and she wasn't sure how to respond. Finally, she settled on a combination of both and chuckled. "Well, if anyone can make her happier, I would hope it was me. A little snow is worth seeing her smile again, don't you think?" She then gave Astrid a slightly stern look. "And since she's my sister, it's kind of my right to mess with her."

"Oh. Yes, of course you're right," Astrid blushed. "You know her best, after all." She realized a moment too late those probably weren't the best words to use. Anna was still sensitive to the fact that she and her sister had been separated for all those years, and comments like Astrid's were likely to be painful. This was confirmed when Anna suddenly went stiff and stared at the floor. "Your Highness… I'm so sorry… I didn't mean —"

Anna drew in a deep breath and fought the emotions that Astrid's words brought to the surface. She _should_ be the one to know Elsa best, but she wasn't and nothing could change the past. "It's okay, Astrid," she managed in a semi-calm voice. "Our relationship is far from normal; I know that."

"Still, I apologize for being insensitive."

"If anyone knows Elsa best, it would be Bridgette," Anna replied, calm enough now to lift her head and manage a slight smile. "She practically raised us, you know — at least, until the accident. Then, it was Elsa alone."

"So she's always been Her Majesty's handmaiden?"

Anna shook her head. "No, she was my mother's. Mother was pregnant with me when Bridgette started, but she was only twelve, so in the beginning she mostly looked after Elsa. After that, she looked after both of us, though we did have a nanny. She was just always there, almost like an older sister, but she was probably reporting to Mother about our behavior. I was a bit of a handful even as a child, but it might surprise you to know that Elsa was too."

It was very hard to picture the Queen has anything but the calm, cool and collected woman she was now, and Astrid didn't think it her place to ask more about it, so she just filed it away as an interesting tidbit about the sisters' past. What was even more interesting was that Bridgette had been so involved in their lives from such a young age. Perhaps that was why she was so strict; it sounded like she was very protective, so she would certainly want to make sure Anna was being taking proper care of.

"Has she always been so … intense?" She felt safe asking the question, since it seemed talking about it was lifting her mistress's mood.

"Bridgette can be a bit terrifying, I do admit," Anna said with an honest grin. "If she wasn't, Elsa would probably have refused to do _anything_ growing up." When Astrid looked completely confused, she went on. "I don't really understand all of it, but I guess by the time Elsa was eleven she refused to see anyone, even our parents. She would still speak to Bridgette face-to-face though, so Mother asked her to step in and make sure Elsa did her studies and took care of herself. That's the only reason she stayed behind when they left on that trip…." she trailed off and looked down again. "At least there was _someone_ she'd let comfort her."

Astrid closed her eyes, realizing she'd opened another wound. "You're together now," she said quietly, "and Her Majesty always seems much happier when she's with you. I'd say she's even gotten jealous of Kristoff —" she cut herself off, cursing her inability to know when to stop talking. It was one thing she had in common with her mistress, though not one she would have picked.

Anna jerked her head up in disbelief. "She's jealous of Kristoff? I don't spend _that_ much time with him, do I?" When Astrid nodded, she passed her hand over her face. "Well, that explains a lot. She won't have to worry about it now."

"Has something happened with Master Kristoff?"

Realizing she'd said something she didn't intend to, Anna rushed to find an excuse for her words. "Well, we had a little fight, but nothing… It wasn't so much a fight as a disagreement, really. I mean, I'm not sure he knows that it was a disagreement; it wasn't about something you'd usually disagree over. He probably thinks it's a great thing actually, at least for now. Oh! How am I going to tell him; he's going to be crushed. Wait, what?"

It took Astrid several long seconds to translate Anna's ramble; all she really learned was that they'd fought about something, but not what it was. She hovered at responding before deciding the best course of action was to pretend that nothing had happened; when her mistress started to babble, it was time to distract her and get things back on course. "If you get dressed now, My Lady, you can be downstairs twenty minutes early."

"Oh, right." Anna refocused on her original plan. "Let's get at it then; the earlier I am the better." Kristoff still lingered in the edge of her consciousness, but she managed to push him back enough to start planning the best way to surprise Elsa. With luck, it would convince her sister to join her for bedtime tea. With greater luck, that tea could once again be nightly.

All Anna knew was that she desperately missed her sister's company and would do almost anything to curl up next to her once again. For some reason, thinking about how soft Elsa's lips were made her even lonelier than she already was, too. Being early _had_ to work, but if nothing else, she would get to be in the same room for a few minutes longer. Even that was better than being ignored completely by the woman she'd come to realize she needed almost as much as breathing.

Thanks to Astrid's deft fingers and remarkable speed in brushing out and re-braiding her mistress's hair, it was only six thirty when Anna passed through the double doors of the royal wing. With a bright smile to the guard, she started down the stairs to surprise her sister.

 **Author's Footnote:** I'm trying to keep chapters to around 4,000 words so I can fit writing/editing into my schedule with enough time to polish and still release in fairly short intervals. Characters tend to reveal themselves as the story progresses, and some interesting things have come up in this chapter. I'd planned on a 10-12 chapter story, but I think it will go longer. We'll just have to see what Elsa and Bridgette have to say in the next chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

**Author Notes:** This story contains themes that may make some readers uncomfortable. If femslash or the thought of two consenting adults engaging in a relationship that is considered taboo in the real world offends you, then this story is not for you. I welcome reviews and critiques, but the world already has enough hate, so please keep your flames to yourself. There are many other wonderful stories on this site, and I won't be offended if you choose one of them instead. _Standard Disclaimer:_ I don't make claims on any Disney trademarks/copyrights and mean no infringement on them or anybody else.

 **Chapter 3.**

The book in Elsa's lap was open, but she'd been staring at the same page for half an hour. Reading was her way of relaxing, letting go of her worries and fears by immersing herself in a different world, a world existing only in her mind. Now, all she saw was a blur of letters that spelled no words and brought no comfort at all.

The meeting went rather smoothly, considering that the two envoys sitting across the desk from her held obvious enmity toward each other in a personal as well as diplomatic sense. Nearly half the time they allotted for the conference was taken up by the two arguing with one another over just about every question that was asked.

As Bridgette warned her, the envoy from Grottony was abrupt and somewhat confrontational, and only slightly less rude when speaking to her than he was to the others. The envoy from Farson, meanwhile, referred to her powers as an 'affliction', and seemed to think that in matters of trade Mister Johansen was the one who held the power in the room. Neither of the men was openly disrespectful, though it was clear that her age, gender and, not surprisingly, her ability to freeze her country solid, combined to convince them both that there was a worrisome chance she would not hold the throne for long.

The first topic of discussion, of course, was the Eternal Winter, and it took some time to convince the two that there was no chance of a repeat of that unfortunate accident. Between Herr Karlsbaad's not-quite-insulting barbs and Monsieur Salomé speaking in a tone that suggested he pitied her as though she her dying, by the time the subject moved on to more mundane matters Elsa wasn't sure whether to be angry or burst into tears. She later received a couple of approving nods from Mister Johansen for keeping the meeting from wandering off into matters that had nothing to do with trade, which balanced her emotions enough that she was able to maintain a neutral tone throughout. Even so, she still felt wrung dry by the time things began to wrap up.

Suddenly, Herr Karlsbaad brought up the coronation again, speaking off-handedly as though he was merely passing along gossip. He suggested that certain people felt that someone who would unleash a storm of such force upon the country she ruled, and turn her own sister into ice for trying to stop it, could not be wholly human. He didn't use the word monster, but that was what he meant, and everyone in the room knew it. An uncomfortable silence followed as the other two men looked at her with the slightest hint of fear in their eyes.

Elsa highly doubted he knew how hard his statement actually hit her, and it took everything she had not to let her powers express her response before her words did. If there was one thing Elsa practiced more than any other, however, it was not to respond to the word she hated most. Instead, she smiled sweetly at him and responded that it was rash to make assumptions about such things without knowing the entire story. She then turned and answered a question that Monsieur Salomé had asked just prior, leaving the Grottnian envoy looking annoyed but also slightly impressed that she hadn't taken his bait.

Mister Johansen stepped in and quickly changed the subject, closing the meeting by informing the envoys that the Queen would be joining them tomorrow for a tour of Arendelle's most productive farms, which allowed Elsa to express her great pleasure at the trip and wish to finish other pressing matters so that she would be free to devote as much time as possible to the two gentlemen before her. It made her slightly nauseous to lie so blatantly, but she did and everyone was pleasant as they left the room.

It was the final exchange with Herr Karlsbaad, however, that kept her from being able to lose herself in the novel sitting in her lap. She truly hated the word monster. She hated it as much as she hated the troll who told her that's how she'd be seen if she didn't control her magic. It was also the word she feared most — that others would eventually come to see her as something not human, something dangerous, no matter how hard she tried to keep her powers controlled.

She feared it even more than she feared her sister discovering her secret. _Is that what Anna would call me if she knew?_ The thought of Anna calling her a monster brought tears to her eyes. _Will she come to see me that way someday? Will she come to hate me — to fear me?_ Anna already had plenty of reasons to hate her. Starting with almost killing her when they were children, then all the years of ignoring her pleas to open the door, and finally freezing her heart and turning her to ice when all Anna wanted was to help her—most of Anna's life gave her a reason to hate her older sister. That she didn't still amazed Elsa, though it didn't help with the guilt and fear Elsa felt herself.

 _She doesn't remember the accident, at least._ It was a small comfort, but unless Anna found out what was done to her as a child, first by Elsa and then the trolls, at least she wouldn't be hated for it. If Anna did find out…. That was something Elsa didn't dare contemplate; every time she ever had, it always ended with her unleashing her powers on the nearest inanimate object in a fury born of fear.

She'd gained greater self-control over the years, but even if she weren't already feeling fragile, she wouldn't risk Bridgette witnessing such a display of anger now — or the risk that it might spiral out of control as it had the night of the coronation. Anna's half-pleading, half-angry insistence on knowing why she'd been shut out of her sister's life was what broke her then. The fear that she might actually find out exploded with a force Elsa was still trying to comprehend she was capable of.

While she might be able to keep that out of her thoughts, Anna wasn't so easily dismissed. Elsa remembered that afternoon. Even though imagining her sister on top of her, imagining her lips and her fingers and what they could do to her, always felt so wrong, Elsa did it anyway. It was the first time she'd done it in the middle of the day, which made it feel even more wrong, but the pleasure of climaxing to the vision of Anna's head between her legs wiped out any guilt she may have had.

That guilt was very present now, however, fueled by the exchange that came shortly after in the hall. As much as she wanted to do as her sister asked she was terrified of what might happen. Anna would insist on sitting next to her, leaning against her and stroking her arm, never knowing that every touch made Elsa even wetter in the place that she wanted Anna to be stroking instead. Anna would talk about her day, and about Kristoff, never knowing that every mention of his name was a glowing hot knife plunging into Elsa's heart. Tea with Anna was the greatest of pleasures and the greatest of pains. Yet, she still yearned for it.

The woman Anna had said knew her sister best of all stepped through the doorway from the Queen's bedroom quietly, sensing that her mistress was upset about something, but not sure how to ask what it was. Bridgette had served the Royal Family for most of her life, long enough that hearing her last name felt foreign to her. She was an orphan, and over the years her family had become the staff of the castle and the nobility she served. She was fiercely loyal, and fiercely protective of the young woman she was now watching carefully.

She was waiting for the right moment to intercede in Elsa's thoughts, before they grew worrisome and started to express themselves physically. Since the events of the coronation, Elsa had learned a great deal more control over the magic that coursed through her body; recently, however, it seemed she was losing that ground again. She'd apparently managed to contain the worst of it to her rooms, but outside her refuge the simple flurries and cold spots that the staff had become accustomed to were growing more severe, signs that Elsa was letting an increasing number of things get to her.

It concerned Bridgette some, though she hadn't expected the transition from cloistered girl to Queen of Arendelle would be without setbacks. Even so, Elsa was having greater difficulty finding her place in the world outside her chambers then she'd thought. She was still hesitant and shy, far too often uncertain of how she should act and what she should say. Bridgette was glad her mistress still turned to her for advice when she felt lost, and she gave it readily; as long as Elsa relied on her, she would be there with her support. Bridgette didn't know what the Queen was struggling with now, but when Elsa closed her book sharply and let out a frustrated noise, she decided it was time to find out.

"Excuse me, Your Majesty. Is there something on your mind?" Bridgette knew Elsa's body language well enough to know that her mistress was on edge and might react with magic first if she asked too directly. As she expected, the Queen jumped and the temperature began to drop slightly. "I only ask so that I may assist if possible."

Elsa drew in a deep breath and let it out, stilling the energy she could feel pulsing through her body. It was a routine she had been practicing with uncomfortable regularity over the last several days, and far more today than usual. After a long moment, she was able to answer with some degree of calm.

"I'm just tired," she said, not looking at the older woman standing beside the settee. "Between Farson and Grottony, the pile of paperwork sitting on my desk, and worrying about Anna, I'm worn thin." She realized a fraction of a second too late that Bridgette would know which of the three was most concerning. "About Anna and Kristoff," she amended, getting to her feet and facing her handmaiden with a weak smile.

She wasn't wrong; Bridgette instantly recognized not only that the Queen's sister weighed most heavily on her mind, but also that it was Anna alone and only peripherally her relationship with the Royal Ice Cutter. It wasn't much of a surprise, given that the Queen had been worried about Anna for most of her life, but something about the way she said it caught Bridgette's attention. The words were clearly unintended, and her attempt to correct herself only made it more obvious. Not only that, but the temperature was becoming uncomfortably cold and Elsa's gaze darted nervously around the room instead of focusing on her.

"Are you concerned about the amount of time she spends outside of the castle without a guard?" It was the most logical reason, though Bridgette doubted it was the real one. The Princess had been gallivanting about the countryside since the moment the gates were opened, and Elsa hadn't seemed worried about it before.

"No. I'm sure Kristoff is the best guard she could have." The fact that this was true made Elsa wince; once again, she was forced to remember that it was Kristoff who held Anna's heart and likely would forever. A few snowflakes drifted down around her, and she quickly dispelled them, along with the cold air she realized she'd created.

Bridgette narrowed her eyes. She could tell that the statement pained her charge, though she couldn't guess why. She knew Elsa well, but given she was the only one that the young woman had interacted with for so many years, she found it difficult to decipher Elsa's true feelings about other people.

"That's true," she responded. "Perhaps you are worried that she is not spending enough time practicing her etiquette?" Bridgette had learned of Astrid's attempts at reminding the Princess how she was supposed to act; at first, she wasn't pleased, but if Anna would listen to anyone about such things, Astrid was the likeliest — other than the Queen, who had been ignoring her sister for more than a week. She certainly wasn't paying attention to the woman actually tasked with the job.

"No," Elsa replied quietly, "though she definitely needs to focus more on that." There hadn't been any major incidents, but Anna had come close to insulting several people with inappropriate questions. Only her cheerful personality, coupled with the fact that she was clearly asking innocently, prevented anyone from becoming too upset. Even so, she was the Queen's sister and eventually something bad would happen if she didn't learn to control her mouth. _Anna's mouth …_ Elsa shuddered as a wisp of fantasy floated into her vision.

"Is there anything I could pass along to Astrid, then, to ease your —"

"NO!" Her voice was loud and harsh, but Elsa couldn't stand thinking about Anna anymore — especially given where her mind was quickly going — and Bridgette didn't seem willing to let go of it. She clenched her fists as the snow started again, heavier this time. "I am not a child and I do _not_ need to tell you the reasons for everything I do. Stop asking questions."

Bridgette blinked several times. The outburst was very unlike Elsa, who was now surrounded by a swirl of heavy snowflakes. It wasn't the first time she'd grown so tense when talking about her sister in recent weeks, but it _was_ the first time her control over her powers had slipped so visibly. That Anna could cause such a drastic response from the usually calm Queen worried her more than anything, but it was clearly not the time to press the issue.

"My apologies, Your Majesty." The relationship between them may be more like parent and child than master and servant, but Bridgette knew that now was the time was to assume the latter role. "You have some time before I must dress you for dinner. Would you like a glass of port while I finish preparing your clothes?"

Elsa closed her eyes and forced the snow to dissipate. Getting angry would only confirm to Bridgette that something was very wrong, and the last thing she wanted was for the older woman to try to comfort her. Despite only a nine-year gap in their ages, Bridgette was more like a mother than her own mother had been, and the thought of accidentally disclosing the reason for her foul mood was that much more terrifying because of it.

She didn't even want to imagine what would happen if her mother knew what she wanted to do to her sister; Idrun had been very strict — contrary to her public persona — and the idea that Elsa had feelings for anyone she had not hand-selected would infuriate her. If she discovered those feelings were for Anna, she would break the door down regardless of Elsa's powers and beat her senseless.

When she asked, at around thirteen, about the changes in her body and the feelings she was beginning to have, she could feel her mother's disapproval, even through the thick door, that she would dare think about something like romance or marriage without permission. Idrun gave a strict order forbidding her daughter from thinking about such things, and a stricter one that Elsa was not to explore her body, regardless of how good it might feel.

She spent a great deal of time reiterating that such behavior was unfit for a girl who would become Queen and with nothing to convince her otherwise, Elsa followed her mother's instructions. Not doing anything about her urges didn't mean she'd never had them, however. She'd even touched herself once or twice, curious about how parts of her body could react so differently simply because of an odd dream, but the vehemence with which her mother disapproved of it prevented her from going any further.

Elsa was thus completely unprepared for the first time a true orgasm ripped through her, and the shock was even greater because it came in response to a fantasy about her little sister. When she regained her breath, she realized what she'd done and swore that she would not do it again, only to seek the pleasure the next night, and the night after that. Even though she was now an adult, even though she was now Queen, she still didn't dare reveal to her handmaiden she'd been engaging in the forbidden activity with unsettling regularity—and certainly not that it was because she was thinking about Anna.

"My Lady?" Bridgette watched the color spreading across her mistress's face in confusion, wondering what Elsa could possibly be thinking about to cause the deep red blush that reached even the tips of her ears.

The Queen shook herself and brought her attention back to the present. "Port. Yes. I mean … A small one, thank you Bridgette." She liked the taste most wines, but didn't like the way she felt after more than a small glass. She'd overindulged once, and the loss of self-control that followed nearly ended in disaster when she cornered Anna with the intention of kissing her. At the last second, she realized what she was doing and somehow turned it into a hug. The next morning the memory, combined with a splitting headache, convinced her not to drink that much ever again.

Once Bridgette gave her the drink and left the room, Elsa crossed to a window and stared out over the courtyard. It was still strange seeing the gates wide open, but every time Anna came home with a tale of seeing deer in the forest or touring a new farm, it made her glad she had not shut them again after the disaster of her coronation. Anything that made Anna happy, if it were within Elsa's abilities to provide, she would provide — regardless of the pain it might cause her. Anything was worth seeing her sister smile, hearing her giggle excitedly, feeling their bodies pressed together when Anna gave her a huge hug as a thank you —

Elsa shook herself to stop the train of thought that was leading to that afternoon yet again, to the terror of thinking Anna might have heard her, and the short replies that clearly hurt her sister's feelings. _All she wanted was to talk and I bit her head off._ She missed their nightly ritual as much as her sister did, but the fear that she might accidentally reveal her secret overwhelmed her loneliness. _Is it really worth it? If I keep pushing her away, eventually she'll stop asking. Just like she stopped knocking on my door._

She hung her head; after telling Anna they'd never be apart again, she was pushing her away with all her might and once again ignoring her sister's pleas not to do so. _What do I do? How do I fix this?_ _ **Can**_ _I fix it?_ The questions swirled around in her mind, and she stared blankly out over the courtyard, sipped her wine, and wondered if she and Anna would ever regain the close relationship they enjoyed for an all-too-brief time after being reunited.

While Elsa was deep within her thoughts, Bridgette was laying out the clothes the Queen would be wearing to dinner. It was only in the last week or so that she'd been doing it; until then Elsa simply conjured up whatever design she chose. Those dresses were a source of irritation for several of the older men on the Royal Council, who felt it was outrageous that their Queen thought nothing of what she revealed when wearing them, especially that her thigh showed as she walked.

It was only a glimpse of skin above the knee, but the slit of her skirt revealed more than many of them had ever seen of their own wives, much less of a 21-year-old platinum blonde with more curves than Arendelle's coastline. The scandalously tight, revealing attire didn't thrill Bridgette, either, which was the only way Elsa had been convinced to return to her more sedate attire—during the day, at least. She still insisted on dressing herself for dinner, but the compromise appeared to calm everyone's complaints.

Then, nearly two weeks ago, she suddenly asked Bridgette to start choosing her clothes again. The shimmering, form-fitting ice dresses vanished and hadn't been seen since. She still wore her hair down in a thick braid unless she had official business to take care of, but her entire demeanor was reverting more and more noticeably to that she held before her coronation. Something had rattled the young Queen, something that Bridgette couldn't discover no matter how hard she tried. All she knew was that Elsa went to bed one night the cheerful woman she had become and woke the next morning the frightened girl she'd been three months earlier.

Since Elsa was young, there had been sporadic episodes of her having extremely vivid nightmares, and at first, Bridgette assumed that a particularly frightening dream had put her mistress on edge. After four days, it became clear that wasn't the case; if anything, Elsa was withdrawing more. Even her sister wasn't immune from her sudden change.

That the Queen had been avoiding Anna was particularly worrisome; her sister served as a balance to the stresses she was facing as she took on the burden of ruling a country, and without Anna's presence to relax her, she was spiraling into a dangerous depression. Despite the Princess's attempts to get her to open up, Elsa was curling into an ever-tighter ball of energy that Bridgette was afraid would explode catastrophically should the Queen not soon find a way to release the heavy tension so obvious on her face.

 _It's as though she hasn't grown at all._ Elsa had become far more comfortable moving among other people, and she was making remarkable strides in the ease with which she communicated with them. Now, it was as if all that effort had been erased. In the last few days, Elsa isolated herself in her rooms when it wasn't absolutely necessary that she be elsewhere, and there were signs that she'd either been losing control of her powers on a larger scale than Bridgette had thus seen or, more troublingly, been intentionally hurling ice at things.

Elsa had a temper, and when she was younger, it sometimes expressed itself through magic that resulted in destroyed pillows, books, and the occasional piece of furniture. It had been years since she resorted to that kind of violence, and Bridgette realized what had been the last cause. _Her parents' deaths sent her into a tailspin; this situation is coming dangerously close to that._

The thought that the Queen might be intentionally using her powers in anger made Bridgette nervous, especially given the evidence that her control was slipping. It worried her that the young woman was angry—or frustrated, or afraid, or whatever was pulling her back into her shell—enough to express her emotions physically. It was still a minor enough concern that Bridgette didn't consider it imperative to address the issue, but she certainly wanted to do anything she could to keep it that way.

Checking her watch, Bridgette saw she had run out of time for consideration of how to help her charge. She'd intended to make one last trip across the hall to remind Astrid that time was growing short, but in her distraction, she'd left herself no spare moment to do so. With a sigh, she walked to the doorway intending to inform the Queen that it was time to dress. When she got there, she stopped dead and gasped.

Elsa was leaning her forehead against the glass of the window, which was frosted over; rime coated every surface within ten feet of the Queen's form. She was muttering, occasionally pulling back and banging her head against the window with enough force to rattle it. It was snowing lightly, but even without the flurry the scene was alarming enough.

 _What in Freya's name is going on?_ "Your Majesty?" Bridgette kept her voice calm and quiet; she had experienced many situations like this before, though not for some months, and she knew that if Elsa was distracted enough to allow her magic to show itself this strongly, startling her could be a dangerous matter. "It's time."

Elsa didn't register the words at first, too busy fighting an all-too-common battle with her emotions. She'd starting thinking about Anna, the past, and how her sister must feel about being ignored for no apparent reason, and the guilt that gripped her was familiar and hard to escape. The second time Bridgette called she shook herself and opened her eyes, looking around in disbelief.

"Oh, shit!" It was a word she'd picked up from Kristoff and found very satisfying to say when the situation called for it. _How didn't I notice I was doing this?_

"I'm sorry?" Bridgette heard the curse with shock; only the fact that Elsa immediately dispelled the ice and cold kept her from asking where she'd learned it. "Are you not feeling well?"

"No," Elsa responded, fighting the blush of embarrassment at being heard using a profanity she shouldn't know. "I'm fine — as fine as I'm going to be."

Bridgette coughed. It was an obvious lie, but given Elsa's unusually fragile state, she decided against pressing the matter. "If you wish, I will prepare your tea for earlier so that you may go to bed sooner. You don't seem to have been sleeping well."

 _Not sleeping at all._ Elsa didn't dare tell her handmaiden that fact. "Unfortunately, I have a great deal of work to do, so as much as I'd love to retire early, I can't."

"Perhaps I could rearrange your schedule for tomorrow so that you can take the morning to yourself; I can move your tour with Herr Karlsbaad and Monsieur Salomé to the afternoon with minimal trouble."

"I put them off today," Elsa replied quietly. Bridgette was pushing her again, but she knew the older woman was acting on her mother's instructions and when it didn't pertain to Anna, she usually didn't get particularly annoyed. Even if she did explode not too much earlier, she wasn't going to complain about it this time. "It wouldn't look good for me to do it again tomorrow. Thank you, though. I appreciate the thought."

Glancing down, Bridgette marshaled her thoughts. Finally, she spoke again. "It would look worse for you to cause a snowstorm by accident, My Lady. You are clearly under more stress than is healthy for you, and showing something in public like what just happened —"

"There is nothing wrong with me!" Elsa interrupted sharply. The comment threatened to bring back the emotions she was just now letting go of and her mother's instructions or not, she wasn't going to let that happen. "Being tired does not justify postponing something that is already scheduled. You are the one who taught me that, if you recall."

"Indeed, I do." Bridgette shook her head slightly. "Very well, I will have tea sent to your office at the usual time. For now, I need to get you dressed or you might be late."

Elsa started towards her and then paused, the chaos in her mind clearing long enough for her to remember she'd made a promise to Anna, and she realized now it was a promise she needed to keep. Not only was it unfair to her sister to be ignored with no explanation, it was doing more harm than good to Elsa herself. Anna was the reason for her mood, but Anna was also the only one who could lift the stress from her shoulders. Clearly, Bridgette knew that she was having more than a little trouble with her powers, and if Bridgette knew, it was time to find a solution.

"On second thought, I have a task for you." She started walking again.

"What is that, My Lady?" Bridgette stepped aside to let her into the bedroom, and then began helping her undress. Elsa's clothing had always been simple, and was far more suited for someone in mourning than the Queen of Arendelle — in some ways, she still was mourning her parents' deaths — but it made it quicker to get her changed.

Elsa bit her lip. _Am I really going to do this?_ "Please go through my correspondence while I'm at dinner and sort it so that I will only have to deal with the most important tonight. I'd like to have tea with Anna." She felt Bridgette's fingers go still. "I promised I would try."

It took several seconds longer for Bridgette to start working again. "Of course, Your Majesty. I'm sure the Princess will be happy to hear it." She didn't even try to keep her voice neutral.

"Make sure there are chocolate truffles," Elsa said, glancing over her shoulder to see if her handmaiden looked as relieved as she sounded. She felt far from relieved herself, but unless she wanted things to get much worse, she had to figure out a way to control herself around her sister, and she needed to do it quickly. "You know the kinds of tarts she likes."

"I'll take care of everything."

Elsa drew in her breath. "We'll have it in the parlor." She was highly doubtful that being in a small, closed room, with Anna wanting to cuddle, would be good for anything but raising her blood pressure, but the parlor was not connected to either of their chambers and she needed to keep things as neutral as she could.

They usually had tea in her sitting room, but Elsa couldn't spend an hour looking at Anna in her nightclothes, a few feet from the bedroom door, and not lose her mind. Even so, she couldn't keep avoiding her sister forever, and reestablishing a normal routine — after removing as much temptation as possible first — might help ease the frustrating ache she felt every time she saw the redhead smile.

"Yes, My Lady." Bridgette heard the hesitation in her charge's voice, and wondered why she would request tea in the tiny parlor at the end of the hall, which saw almost no use, but the fact she was having tea at all was a sign that her mood was starting to improve. "I think it will be good for you," she added quietly.

"I'm sure it will be." Elsa was already half-regretting the decision, all the things that could go wrong crowding into her mind like a thousand swords ready to cut her into pieces at the slightest mistake. She would have to be more alert than she ever had been in Anna's presence, while somehow keeping her sister from realizing how uncomfortable she was. She wasn't going to change her mind, however, no matter what excuses she made to herself.

Starting to get nervous, she changed the subject. "I don't suppose your remarkable skill at hearing things you shouldn't has turned up anything I should know before dinner?"

"Things didn't go poorly, My Lady," Bridgette responded, giving her a stern look. Elsa was tense when she came out of the conference that afternoon, apparently overwhelmed by her first face-to-face meeting with two of Arendelle's most important and most contentious trade envoys. Bridgette said nothing then and allowed her to process what had happened on her own.

When Elsa brought it up, and Bridgette knew that was what she was referring to, she was more than prepared to discuss the matter. She didn't hesitate to be firm now; one of the last conversations she'd had with Queen Idrun was about Elsa's lack of confidence that she could handle the burden of ruling when the time came.

" _Should something happen to us, she won't have long before she is forced to come out of her room. Please do all that you can to remind her that she is the Crown Princess, and if it comes to it, the Queen of Arendelle. She_ cannot _be afraid of anyone at court, regardless if they're foreign diplomats or her own Council. You are my surrogate in this; use the same force I would if it is required."_

 _Bridgette was baffled as to why her mistress would make such a statement. "Your journey isn't dangerous, Your Majesty. I'm sure you'll return safely."_

 _The Queen looked at her with an oddly resigned expression, as if she knew the trip wouldn't go as smoothly as it should. "I'm certain we'll return safely as well, but with both of us at sea together, the risk is much greater, and so the precautions are more important than if one of us went alone."_

" _Of course, My Lady." Bridgette was still confused. "The sea has always been kind to Arendelle, though. I have no doubts that it will be kind to its rulers as well."_

" _There are things far more dangerous than ocean currents, Bridgette," Idrun replied calmly, the look in her eyes intensifying. "And we may only take so many precautions. Please remember what I said. She will be Queen eventually, whether it is in decades, or days. I expect you to prepare her to assume that role sooner rather than later."_

The Queen's instructions were unusual; Elsa had a tutor whose sole purpose was to instruct her in the legal procedures and court etiquette that would be required of her when she took the throne. While Bridgette, having served Queen Idrun for more than half of her life, was well acquainted with how both the Queen and the King were expected to behave in court and elsewhere, she was far less knowledgeable than he was.

She couldn't think of any reason the Queen would want her to instruct the Princess beyond those lessons, but she agreed with the order. Seeing how the Princess withdrew after the unthinkable did come to pass made her understand why Queen Idrun was worried. Elsa often refused to meet with her tutors, even though it was still through a closed door, and Bridgette was the only one she would listen to. She stepped in as the Queen had requested, and had been guiding her new mistress as best she could since.

Even now that the girl had become Queen herself, Bridgette continued to teach her mistress when she was struggling with how to do what was expected of her. It often required her to be far sterner than a servant would normally be allowed without strong reproach, but Elsa seemed to understand the reasons and rarely complained about it.

"Are you sure about that?" Elsa left the meeting with an uncomfortable feeling that she'd done things very wrong in a few critical places and was not convinced that she passed inspection, particularly where Herr Karlsbaad was concerned.

"I'm sure Mister Johansen would've mentioned anything that went badly," Bridgette replied. "And I don't know what skill you're referring to."

Elsa made a noise. "You know exactly what skill. The one that let you tell me Sir Mallory intended to suggest a meeting between myself and Prince Thomas, before he had even left his ship."

"When you have been in service as long as I have, it is only natural that you learn to pay attention to your surroundings." The older woman drew in her breath, and then thought better of saying anything more specific about why she'd honed her attention so thoroughly. "I merely overheard Sir Mallory's manservant mention it to the porter as we passed in the courtyard. That hardly qualifies as a skill."

"I think it does," Elsa responded. "Whatever it is, did it find anything interesting that I should know about?" Bridgette had always been a bit cryptic about how she learned so much regarding the more closely held thoughts and intentions of Arendelle's nobility and the many visitors who passed through the castle gates, but Elsa was glad for the information, regardless of where it came from. It made her feel a little more confident that she wouldn't inadvertently cause a war, or some other disaster, through her relative naïveté in even the most basic of court intrigues.

Bridgette knew her charge well enough to have a good idea what she was hoping to hear. "The consensus is that you handled yourself quite well, but that you clearly aren't familiar with the ongoing tensions between Farson and Grottony. If I might suggest, you should try to avoid the subject during dinner."

"I had already planned to." That was one subject Elsa had no qualms about avoiding further discussion of. "I have enough of a headache from listening to them bicker about every question they asked as it is." She paused and looked away, her voice a little unsteady as she continued, "Did you happen to hear what Lord Fritzen thought of my performance?"

 _Exactly what I thought she would ask._ "Unfortunately, no, Your Majesty." Bridgette coughed. "I doubt he'll find anything to complain about, however; not that you should be so concerned about what he thinks, if you'll excuse me for saying so." She had seen how timid her charge was around the Vice-Chair, but despite the skill she denied having to the Queen, she had not been able to find out why. It was true that he and her father had often been at odds — usually loudly — but that did not explain why she seemed so afraid of him.

"His job is to teach me the finer points of diplomacy," Elsa replied somewhat woodenly. "The sooner I learn those, the sooner I can be rid of him."

"I wouldn't worry that he'll find fault with anything you did this afternoon, Your Majesty." Bridgette smiled gently. "No one expects a newly crowned monarch be thoroughly familiar with everything that is going on throughout Eraulia, and neither Herr Karlsbaad nor Monsieur Salomé made any fuss about feeling slighted or insulted. They have issue with each other over a few things that were said, but it would be remarkable if they didn't."

Elsa managed to smile. "I'm glad to hear that, and I'm very pleased that you don't have a skill that allows you to know such details." She always felt relieved when Bridgette approved of something she'd done; it was as close to hearing praise from her father as she would ever get, and it almost balanced the negative things she was certain to hear later. Sighing, she looked sideways at Bridgette. "Perhaps I should appoint you to Lord Fritzen's position; I learn far more from you than I do from him, and you're much more pleasant company." _And then I wouldn't have to see him every day._

The thought of Lord Fritzen threatened to drag her down again, but she refused to allow him to have that much control over her emotions. She was trying every day to lessen the discomfort she felt in his presence, though it was a struggle given that she wasn't completely certain why she was so afraid of him. She had only snippets of memory and an overwhelming feeling of panic whenever he entered her presence. He was not in her presence now, and she gritted her teeth until the rapid beating of her heart slowed to normal, and then smiled again — though weakly.

"I believe the Royal Council requires you to be a peer," Bridgette responded calmly. She saw the flashes of emotion that always crossed her mistress's face when she mentioned her cousin, though the temperature didn't drop as it often did. Hoping to keep her from dwelling on her fear, she added wryly, "While I do not know who my parents were, I can say with some certainty that they did not leave me with a title."

"I could give you one."

Bridgette rolled her eyes. "I have absolutely no interest in an extra word before my name. Once you have one of those, no one wants to talk to you about what's going on in court, unless they expect something in return."

Unable to keep from laughing, Elsa shook her head and rolled her eyes back. "I thought you didn't have that skill."

"Right now, if my skill at getting you dressed doesn't come into play in the next five minutes, you're going to be late, Your Majesty."

Elsa nodded and gestured for Bridgette to continue. "I certainly don't want to be late," she said with a slight smirk, feeling better than she had half an hour ago. "If I was, it would be the first time Anna was early and she'd never let me live it down." Bridgette had always been able to make her smile, though it was a challenge for her lately. She was particularly glad for the ability today, and hoped the humor would last her though until bedtime.

"I wouldn't worry about that," Bridgette replied with a chuckle. "You won't be late, and Her Highness hasn't been on time to anything for as long as I can remember."

"That's what Astrid should be focusing on, though I think she should be paid more for it, poor girl."

Bridgette finished the buttons on the back of the Queen's dress and stepped away. "I can discuss that with Kai if you wish, Your Majesty. As for now, you're ready with five minutes to spare. I will ensure that the kitchen knows what to send for your tea and get on your correspondence right away."

"Thank you Bridgette, for everything." Elsa hesitated, and then turned and walked out of the bedroom. She would have tea with Anna and somehow come to terms with the fact that her sister was not hers, and never would be. Suffering in her presence was far preferable to suffering from her absence, and if having tea would bring back the smile that Elsa loved, then she would learn to accept the pain and smile back.

 **Author's Footnotes:** Well, so much for 4,000 word chapters. The next chapter starts the real Elsanna interaction, but the relationship will develop slowly over several installments. I'll keep the angst to a minimum, though, promise!


	4. Chapter 4

**Author Notes:** This story contains themes that may make some readers uncomfortable. If femslash or the thought of two consenting adults engaging in a relationship that is considered taboo in the real world offends you, then this story is not for you. I welcome reviews and critiques, but the world already has enough hate, so please keep your flames to yourself. There are many other wonderful stories on this site, and I won't be offended if you choose one of them instead. _Standard Disclaimer:_ I don't make claims on any Disney trademarks/copyrights and mean no infringement on them or anybody else.

 **Also:** Given how long it's been since the last chapter release, I'd like to note that so far, only a few hours have passed in Arendelle since the first chapter. Certain things should make more sense if you keep that in mind.

 **Chapter 4.**

 _You know I love you, Kristoff. I'm just not in love with you._

"No, too cliché."

 _I wish I could say it was the greatest moment of my life, but—_

"Oh, wow, so completely not right."

 _It wasn't what I expected, but let's see what happens from here._

"That takes wishy-washy to a new level. Ugh! How am I going to do this?" Anna was halfway down the main stairs, trying to think of some way to handle Kristoff and the kiss. Elsa was on her mind when she left the royal wing, but her thoughts soon turned to what would be the hardest thing she'd ever done.

If only Elsa could help her…. Elsa, unfortunately, was the least helpful person to turn to. _Her experience with love is well below the 'absolute zero' line._ "She loves me, I guess," Anna muttered, "even if she's refusing to speak to me right now. There's no way she understands being in love, though. She won't get near enough to anyone to fall in love, much less have a boyfriend."

Elsa having a boyfriend was a somewhat unsettling thought. Not that she didn't want her sister to fall in love. Far from it; but something inside her rebelled at the idea of not being the only person in Elsa's heart. _That's just selfish; even if she is being cold now, I know she loves me as much as a sister can. What more could I want?_

A fleeting image crossed her mind; Elsa kissing her the way Kristoff did. She could almost feel the softness of her sister's lips pressing against hers as his had _. If it were Elsa, I wouldn't have wanted her to stop. If—_

"Wait, what? If it were _Elsa_ …? What in Freya's name am I thinking?" Anna trembled. "Not with Elsa—I couldn't do that with her!" It occurred to her she was thinking out loud about kissing her sister in a very inappropriate way, so she stopped and drew in a deep breath.

It's not only impossible, it's … Elsa can't be my lover, she's my sister! Wait, why am I even thinking about it like that? I would never … Elsa would never…. She shook her head and forced her thoughts back to Kristoff. Elsa was her sister; Kristoff was her … what exactly is he? Is he my boyfriend? Not any more, I guess. What mattered was his gender. No matter how deep the love between her and Elsa grew it wasn't the same sort of love she should have for him—and never would be. They were both women. They were sisters.

"Then why do I keep comparing them?" She began walking again, trying to push the insane idea out of her head-and being Elsa's lover was about as insane as it got. "I may be a little nuts, but I'm not that crazy!" _Getting so worked up over a simple kiss; yeesh, Anna, maybe you are crazy. Ok, so he isn't the one; how did I get from him to_ _ **Elsa**_ _?_

It still baffled her why Kristoff's kiss wasn't the most incredible, breath-taking thing she'd ever experienced. There was a lot of diplomatic catching up to do now that Arendelle had a proper monarch again, and catching up involved formal parties, so she'd had plenty of opportunities to see what else there was in the world of potential suitors.

None of them came close to interesting her like Kristoff did. He was warm, and open, and willing to help her when she stumbled, physically or verbally—and there was plenty of both—and bashful and introspective and…. "Gaaaaah! He's the perfect man! What is _wrong_ with me?"

Anna puffed out her cheeks and tried to regain her composure before she smacked herself on the forehead or did something else embarrassing. There was still time to figure out what to say; she wouldn't see Kristoff until tomorrow. Hopefully, by then she'd find something that wouldn't hurt him too badly.

"Your Highness, excuse me." A footman came trotting up to her before she'd reached the bottom of the stairs. "Master Kristoff has arrived and wishes to speak with you if it's convenient."

 _You have_ _ **got**_ _to be kidding me_. "I … uh…." _I'm not ready for this._ If she talked to him, all she would do is fall all over herself trying to avoid saying the wrong thing, and Kristoff was better at reading her than she liked. It was one of his attractive features since she so often had trouble saying what she meant without babbling. That perceptiveness might work against her if she met with him now.

She would also likely end up late for dinner, which she did _not_ want to happen. After getting downstairs early, to end up disappointing Elsa yet again would be depressing. If she didn't see him, however, he'd mope around looking stricken tomorrow until she wanted to hide in her room, and then have to explain that to him—and likely Elsa as well. _What can he possibly want at this hour?_ "Did you tell him I'm due for dinner in a few minutes?"

"Yes, Your Highness. He insisted it would take only a moment of your time."

"I'll see him." _I'll use dinner as an excuse to get him out of here._ She followed the uniformed boy to one of the front parlors trying to put on a calm front. Kristoff stood in the middle of the room, twisting his hat in his hands nervously. _He is cute. Maybe I overreacted ... yeah, imagining Elsa like that is definitely overreacting. It's not like he tried to do anything else. Maybe it was just too soon._

Kristoff looked up and broke into a huge smile. "Hey, Anna! I know it's a little late, but I really wanted to see you."

"Hi, Kristoff," Anna replied with all the warmth she could muster. Her emotions swirled around in confusion; she liked him, but she'd been so sure it wasn't love. She wanted him near her and wanted to push him far away. She couldn't have both, but the choice was agonizing. "You don't have Olaf in tow?"

"Nah, he'd babble about random things and make talking harder." He chuckled before winking at her. "I left him to keep Sven out of trouble. You've got a couple of new fillies at the stables, you know."

Anna drew in a breath; not bringing Olaf only reinforced the suspicion Kristoff wanted to discuss what had happened earlier. The snowman had adopted him and was usually not far away; the lack of his presence was telling. Discomfort cast shadows over the idea that her reaction to his kiss was a mistake.

 _And he's going to start talking about it now. Wonderful._ "So, what did you need? I only have a couple of minutes before I have to go to dinner."

He started toward her and she backed up. There was no mistake; she didn't want him to hug her. The thought he might try to kiss her again was terrifying. _Why? He's a still a friend. It's only a simple hug, Anna. Don't hurt his feelings. Of course, I'm going to hurt his feelings at some point, but…._

Her legs bumped into a chair and she realized she was against the wall. _This is crazy. Everything's fine, this is fine. If he hugs me, it means nothing. I'm overreacting._ Even if she wasn't in love with him, it made no sense to react so strongly to something so simple. It confused her and embarrassed her, but she didn't want him to touch her.

The blond man didn't hug her, but stopped much closer to her than she liked. "About this afternoon…." He blushed deep red.

"Oh, that." Anna heard the weakness in her voice and coughed. "That isn't something I'd really like to discuss right now. I mean, we're in the castle and it's dinnertime and Elsa could come looking for me at any minute. Not that seeing Elsa would be a bad thing since you'd be able to thank her in person for the sleigh and such, but I don't think it would be a good idea to let her overhear what happened."

Wincing at how her words kept tumbling over each other and the way she was waving her arms around like a maniac, she smiled apologetically. "I mean, I'd rather keep it between us. For now." She needed to tell him her true feelings, but with no idea how to approach it, and Elsa likely to appear at any moment, she didn't want to discuss it now. "Well, it was unexpected, and I'm not sure how to—"

"Anna." Kristoff interrupted her with the look he got when he was a little frustrated with her, though he was still blushing. "It isn't about that."

Anna composed herself. "Ah. Sorry, I assumed…."

He rolled his eyes. "You do that a lot." When she turned red, he quickly added, "But it's cute. When you start like that, it usually means you're embarrassed, so you must've really liked it, huh? I'm glad because I did too. You know, I've never—"

"So what did you want to discuss?" Anna rushed to cut him off before he could say the word. She'd guessed it was his first kiss too, from the way he fumbled through it, but she didn't want to hear about the experience with the door open and Elsa certain to be coming downstairs soon if she hadn't already.

To be honest, she didn't want to hear about it at all, but she would have to sooner or later. She also knew the subject was what he was blushing about and he'd obviously changed his mind about mentioning it when she reacted like she did.

 _I'm so sorry, Kristoff. You don't deserve this. I don't understand it, but I can't stop it._ She didn't know how to correct his mistake about her feelings, either, and that added to her confusion.

"Oh, right! See, the new sleigh is really nice, so I'm heading up to the valley tomorrow to show my family."

Anna gave him a weak smile. "That sounds nice, Kristoff. I'm sure they'll love it." She looked away, trying to come up with some excuse to get out of what she knew was coming.

"I was hoping you'd come with me," the blond said with a shy smile. "It'll be nice to spend time together; we can talk about whatever you want."

"Oh, wow." Anna tried to sound surprised. "I, uh, I'd love to go with you but I think I'm really busy with … stuff." She desperately searched for a polite way to say no. It wasn't so much about being with him as worry she'd end up blurting out the wrong thing somewhere along the line. Spending an entire day with Kristoff sounded uncomfortable; spending an entire day with Kristoff crying sounded like a disaster. "Doing that Princess thing and all. You know how it is."

Kristoff's face fell, and he frowned. "I really wanted you to go, so we could, y'know, talk about things."

"Things?" Anna bit her lip. "What kinds of things?" They always talked while riding; she couldn't imagine—or, rather, didn't want to imagine—what he found important enough to make a statement about.

"Just about … stuff." The blond glanced at the fireplace and sighed. "Is it what happened?"

Anna blinked several times. "Is what, what happened? Oh. You mean this afternoon. Well, that…."

Biting his lip, Kristoff returned his gaze to her. "It is, isn't it?" His face looked so mournful that Anna almost couldn't answer.

 _Does he realize I didn't like it?_ "It was just unexpected. I really don't want to talk about it right now. I know we should, but this isn't the place." _And I have no idea where to start._

There was a silence, and then Kristoff rubbed the back of his head and chuckled. "Yeah, Elsa probably wouldn't like knowing I kissed you." When Anna glared at him, he chuckled again. "Yeah, yeah. We won't talk about it right now. You're worried about tomorrow 'cause you think you'll be a distraction when I'm driving, huh? Since we're official and all."

 _Nope, not a clue._ "Well, I would prefer you pay attention to the road," she replied. "I know Sven can handle things on his own most of the time, but it's still a little nerve-wracking when you let go of the reins completely." _Why am I even talking about this? Just say no and be done with it, Anna._ "I'm really sorry, Kristoff, but I—Wait, what? What did you mean by official?"

"Well, we aren't only doing the stuff friends do anymore, right? So, you're officially my girlfriend. No reason to be nervous though. I won't get distracted, even if you sit that close. Promise." Kristoff took leaned forward and drew in a deep breath. "You smell really good!"

"It's a new perfume from Farson," Anna replied instinctively. "Elsa's smells better." A lot better. Gah! Why am I thinking about her at a time like this? She does smell good though.

Kristoff laughed. "I doubt she'd let me sniff her."

"No, I don't think she would." Anna tried not to laugh as well. The thought of Kristoff getting near enough to Elsa to sniff her was very amusing, due to the complete impossibility of it happening. For a moment, her mood lightened. _He's such a goof; maybe I should give him another chance._

Then the reality of what _would_ happen if he tried it sank in. He'd likely get a face full of ice and send Elsa storming off in a fury. There were only two people she'd let that close to her, and Kristoff was definitely not one of them. _Being a goof isn't a good thing all the time, I guess._

Lately, it seemed Elsa didn't consider her one of them either, and that brought her back to reality. For a moment, she was tempted to agree to Kristoff's request simply to get away from her sister for a while. Elsa's mood wasn't enough to override her unease at the thought of Kristoff trying to be romantic with her, though.

It certainly wasn't enough to risk being trapped together for several hours should she let her feelings slip by accident and crush him completely. The realization he was looking at their relationship in a more romantic light only complicated things. What am I going to do? She sighed heavily.

Kristoff seemed strangely oblivious to her discomfort, however. "Will you wear it tomorrow?"

"Kristoff, I said I was probably busy tomorrow." Anna pursed her lips; Kristoff could be dense, and she usually found it cute, but right now she wasn't prepared to deal with this level of thick-headedness. It was as if he was intentionally ignoring signals he would normally react to.

Looking at the ceiling, she searched desperately for some way to get out of the ride.

Elsa descended the stairs and called to the footman she saw down the hall. He was new, and his face showed his discomfort at being hailed. She'd grown accustomed to that type of expression, one of uncertainty and usually a hint of fear. It no longer bothered her; she _had_ given Arendelle a good reason to be afraid of her. It would take time to earn their trust.

The boy bowed. "Your Majesty. How may I be of service?" His voice trembled a bit, and Elsa remembered he was younger than he appeared and as likely cowed by her crown as her magic.

"I don't suppose you know if Princess Anna has made an appearance?" She wasn't certain why she always asked if her sister had come downstairs on time. She never had, but Elsa asked anyway.

"Oh, yes, Your Majesty. I saw her about fifteen minutes ago."

Elsa blinked several times. "She's here. Downstairs. Early." She wasn't certain what else to say; she was so shocked that words failed her.

"Yes, Ma'am. She's in the left front parlor speaking with Master Kristoff." The boy gestured as if Elsa might get lost on the way.

"Oh, that's why she was early." Elsa narrowed her eyes and looked down the corridor toward the front of the castle. _She'll do it for Kristoff, of course._ She sighed. _At least with him around she might appear at meals before dessert. That's something positive if she marries him._

There were times she doubted Anna would show up for dinner at all if sweets weren't being served. It confused her, knowing how much the redhead could eat, that she would be late for anything involving food. Yet she always was, and if it took Kristoff to ensure she'd arrive on time, Elsa would take it as a point in his favor.

The idea of Anna marrying made her want to freeze something, but it would happen sooner or later regardless of her feelings. Perhaps not to Kristoff, but married all the same. _As I must marry._ There had already been letters to the Council testing out her readiness to consider one country's Prince or another's Duke, and it made her ill knowing eventually she would have to accept one of the suitors as a spouse.

For a moment she wished Anna was a man, wasn't her sister-was someone she could love openly and without fear. That they could take vows and wake beside each other for the rest of their lives. It was only a moment though. She wouldn't have her sister be anyone but who she was; Anna-wild, adventurous, mischievous, beautiful Anna. Her feelings were reprehensible, but she would rather bear them than change the woman her sister had become.

"She was already downstairs when I found her, Your Majesty. She wasn't certain she would speak with him because she didn't wish to be late to dinner."

Elsa stared at him, still shocked that Anna had shown up early for something. The thought she might have even meant to do it seemed more unbelievable. _So it wasn't because Kristoff asked for her?_ Her heart fluttered. She was grasping at straws if she tried to believe she was the reason for the redhead's promptness, however. _Then why?_

After a few seconds the boy paled, apparently worried he had somehow raised the Queen's ire, and she gave him a slight smile. "Thank you, Fredric." She still had trouble recalling the names of everyone on the staff, but when Anna pointed him out as important to her she'd made sure to remember his.

"Of course, Your Majesty." He beamed as if the Queen had given him a title. "If I may be of any further assistance, I would be honored…."

"Not at the moment. Your sister is well, I hope?" She tried to duplicate Anna's easy way of speaking to the staff. When the boy's eyes widened, she worried she'd only frightened him again.

"She—she's quite well, Ma'am. Thank you for asking," he stammered. "I-If you have no further need of me…?" When Elsa shook her head, he bowed and scurried off down the hall, glancing over his shoulder a few times and though she might be preparing to hurl a block of ice at him.

 _Well, that didn't go as I'd hoped._ She sighed; terrifying the staff was not on her list of ways to become more comfortable interacting with people. The boy now vanishing around a corner was the brother of Anna's best friend and if she couldn't avoid scaring him, she was in trouble. After making a mental note to ask Anna what she'd done wrong, she drew in a breath and strode toward the front parlor. She was still several paces away from the open door when she heard her sister's voice.

"It's not that I'm sure I have anything, but maybe you should ride up alone this time. You know how they get when I come with you." It was clear Anna was frustrated. The discussion must have been going on for a while.

"That's the problem? I told you to just go with it until they get tired."

"They've tried to marry us six times already! Exactly how long does _it_ last?" Anna sounded like she was getting irritated.

Elsa twitched. _Marry them? The trolls couldn't do that … it wouldn't be binding … it's … it's…._ She blinked several times to stop the tears. _I'm not ready for that. I can't lose her now. Not now._

"What's wrong with that?" Kristoff replied in a baffled voice.

"He's not serious," she murmured. "He can't be serious. They're playing around."

Anna's growl was loud enough to reach the hall. "Where do I start? Look, Kristoff; I'd love to ride up with you, but you know what will happen when they find out I'm the one who gave it to you."

An equally loud chuckle drifted into the hall. "Come on, it's only talk. Besides, last time you told them it had to be in a church, and that really threw them."

 _Is she serious enough to mention the chapel? No. This isn't … this can't…._ Elsa stopped and tried to still the sudden trembling that threatened to overwhelm her. It didn't sound like a joke anymore. It sounded like making plans. The temperature was dropping and she struggled to pull it back inside. If Anna wanted to get married, she had to stuff her own love as far down as she could. _Conceal, don't feel._

She managed a short laugh. "I wonder what Father would think if he knew what I was saying that about." _He'd murder me if Mother didn't get to me first._ Swallowing hard, she forced her thoughts to settle. _She's not yours._ It was a mantra she recited almost as often as the one she'd learned as a child. _Let her go._

"Arrrrgh! You are so difficult sometimes! I told you I was probably busy, anyway."

"If it's nothing official, then what's more important than spending time with your boyfriend?" His tone was one Elsa recognized; he used it when he wanted Anna to do something she wasn't interested in. That situation rarely arose, so it made Elsa all the more concerned to hear it.

Now Anna sounded stumped. "I guess there's not much, but still … couldn't we do it another day?"

 _I don't know what's going on, but I'm putting a stop to it._ She may be faced with losing her sister to the ice cutter too soon, but Anna clearly didn't want it to happen tomorrow. Addressing that was all she could focus on at the moment without cold and snow giving her away.

Gritting her teeth to keep her jumbled emotions from showing, Elsa strode into the room. Anna was standing by one of the side chairs, leaning backward slightly as if she felt cornered. Kristoff was only a foot or so away, grinning and looking at her expectantly.

"I'm sorry for interrupting," she said in an icy voice, ready to intercede if the ice cutter _was_ trying to corner her sister. She knew he would never do something so aggressive, but Anna's nervous expression put her on full guard in an instant. _Why does she look so unhappy?_

Startled to hear her sister's voice, Anna turned toward the door. "Elsa? Eep!" As she started to slide past Kristoff, he stepped forward and collided with her, sending her off balance. Stumbling, she caught her foot on a leg of the chair she had been leaning against and fell. Kristoff tried to catch her, which might have worked if he hadn't slipped on an unexpected patch of ice.

Reaching to catch Anna as well, Elsa instinctively created a large pile of snow between her sister and the floor. She'd never know if the ice was accidental or intentional, but the redhead had a much softer landing than the man beside her.

The end result was Anna face down in a snowdrift with Kristoff sprawled on his back by her and Elsa teetering on her tiptoes trying not to fall on both of them, wincing at the pain from where her head collided with his. Several chairs had fallen over and a painting hung crooked on the wall.

Elsa's heart pounded so hard she was certain the others could hear it. All she could think about was the last time she'd tried to soften her sister's fall with her powers. Before panic completely set it, Anna started laughing.

"Are … Are you ok?" Elsa regained her balance and leaned toward the redhead who had flipped over and was now tossing handfuls of snow into the air and giggling. "You too, Kristoff," she added a moment later when the blond man sat up rubbing his forehead. "I'm sorry I—"

"Oh, come on, Elsa!" Anna interrupted, sitting up. "This is the best save ever! Cold, but awesome."

Kristoff response came a little slower, and he appeared embarrassed to have fallen. "I'm fine as long as Anna's fine." He got up and reached out to help Anna, who seemed more interested in playing with the snow than his extended hand. "Anna," he finally said in an exasperated tone. "You're going to get wet."

After tossing a soft snowball at him, the redhead allowed him to help her to her feet. She brushed herself off and grinned. "That was fun. I'd like to do it on purpose sometime."

Once again, Elsa's heart pounded against her ribs. "That … That's probably not a good idea, Anna." She reminded herself that the redhead didn't remember what happened when they last played in the snow together. "It could be dangerous." With a flick of her fingers, she turned the snow back into vapor that quickly dissipated, leaving only a slight chill behind. "Are you certain you aren't hurt?"

"I'm fine, Elsa." Anna was confused by the expression on her sister's face. The blonde looked terrified, far in excess of what would be expected of a simple fall. _Why do I feel like I should know the reason?_ "Really, I just tripped."

Elsa drew in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "I'm still sorry for startling you." She was able to smile, feeling the tension fading from her body. If nothing else, Anna wasn't as close to Kristoff as before and looked much more comfortable for it. "I learned that you'd come down early and was looking for you." She glanced at Kristoff momentarily before returning her gaze to her sister. "I seem to have interrupted something important, though. Should I go?"

Surprisingly grateful for Elsa's appearance, Anna shook her head. "No, no, it's fine; we were only chatting." She looked away. "Sorry if I'm late." She wasn't sure how long she and Kristoff had been talking, but she was certain it was long enough to erase any chances of being alone with Elsa before dinner.

"Don't worry, you aren't late." Elsa turned her full attention on Kristoff. "I didn't by chance just hear you propose to my sister, did I?" She tried to sound more teasing than angry, and ended the question with as much of a smile as she could muster. She might be terrified of the answer, but she couldn't take those feelings out on him. Anna would never forgive her, and she had enough things that needed forgiving already.

"Wait, Elsa … that's not what-" _Oh, crap, she heard us._ Anna tried to head off an answer, but Kristoff started talking first.

"I'm sorry for head-butting you," he said nervously, apparently not hearing the question or Anna's response. "Um … you're looking very … queenish tonight, by the way." He ran his hand through his hair and looked slightly embarrassed.

"Queenish?" Elsa raised an eyebrow. "Could that be because I'm wearing a crown?" She couldn't resist pointing out the fact, and his confused expression amused her enough to giggle softly. _He's sort of cute when he's embarrassed, I guess._

"Kristoff, don't-" Anna tried again to divert him from veering into dangerous territory

The blond man shifted and coughed. "I meant regal. You know, like a real queen."

Elsa's amusement vanished instantly. "I _am_ a real Queen," she replied in a voice as cold as the air atop the North Mountain, with no attempt to sound pleasant. She didn't think it was possible, but it seemed Kristoff had gotten dumber since the last time they spoke.

For Anna's sake, she was willing to be friendly, and she knew he didn't mean it as an insult, but she expected to be properly recognized as the ruler of Arendelle. Her sister's boyfriend wasn't exempt from that expectation and it wouldn't change even if they _did_ get married.

"I think he meant you look really good," Anna interjected. Kristoff was digging a huge grave for himself and obviously didn't see it. With the mood Elsa was in lately, things might turn very unpleasant if she got seriously annoyed with him. _If she's as jealous as Astrid thinks, she is_ _ **not**_ _going to like me spending whole day with him, that's for sure._ "And you do; you look very nice."

"Thank you, Anna." Elsa softened when she saw her sister's gaze move up her dress before the redhead smiled at her with a look that was a little more than approving. It was one of Anna's expressions that made her shiver; she could almost imagine that the thoughts behind it were more than filial admiration. _I wish she were hesitating about marriage because of me._ "You look beautiful as well. Of course, you always do."

A slight pink colored her cheeks before she turned back to the man her sister was ridiculously enthralled with, her relaxed expression taking more willpower to maintain. _Be nice, be diplomatic, be calm._ "So, did I hear correctly?"

Kristoff looked startled, and a little confused. "Hear correctly…?"

"Did you propose to my sister?" Elsa pursed her lips. He had definitely gotten dumber. _What does she_ _ **see**_ _in him?_ "It's an easy question." _He isn't stalling because it's true, is he?_ She smiled again though it was harder than before.

It took several seconds longer before the light went on in the blond man's eyes, and he blushed a deep red that made him look almost comical. "What? No! No-no-no-no-no … that was … it's just my family … they're…."

"Different. Yes, I'm aware of that." _Praise Freya._ Elsa breathed a heavy sigh of relief. If she'd stopped to think rationally, she'd have known he wasn't serious. It was hard to think rationally when it came to Kristoff, however. He was a nice enough man, but she hated his place in her sister's life.

"Elsa, it's fine." Anna breathed a sigh of relief when Kristoff moved away and slipped past him to stand by her sister. It grew colder the closer she got, and she noticed Elsa's fists clenched by her side. _Is she that mad about the queen thing?_ "He was only asking me to go with him to show off his sleigh."

As much as she was comforted by her sister's presence, she was also afraid that Elsa would learn about the earlier kiss, and _that_ would blow up into her having to say she wasn't—

Elsa interrupted her thoughts. "As long as you're happy." She breathed in Anna's scent and let it waft over her like a spring breeze. The redhead did look beautiful, and her expression was grateful; Elsa's baser desires faded under the pleasure of knowing her sister approved of being protected. "You realize I will still have to approve your marriage, though."

As she said it, she realized that even if she were to approve of Anna marrying Kristoff, the Council would be highly unlikely to agree. A political marriage would almost certainly be forced on the Queen's likely successor, though Elsa would do anything she could to allow her sister to marry for love. _If she can't be mine,_ _I'd rather see her happy with a commoner than miserable with someone like that bastard Hans. Even if that commoner_ _ **is**_ _a moron._

Anna looked at her in surprise. _Does she actually think Kristoff proposed?_ Something was bothering her, that was for certain, and it had a great deal to do with the man standing in front of them looking uncomfortable. Up to that point, she'd assumed Elsa was simply having a hard time being as friendly as she usually was toward the blond. It made sense given her coldness of late, but now she realized Elsa was being very serious about the subject. _Why would she be so against that? She may be jealous we spend time together, but she couldn't possibly want me to never marry._

She loved feeling protected by Elsa, but she didn't want that protectiveness turned on Kristoff—especially regarding matrimony, and especially right now. "Don't worry; nobody is marrying anybody. Kristoff's family is a little obsessed with love, that's all. Grand Pabbie always stops them before they really get going."

"Yeah, um, what she said. I mean, I like Anna a lot; she's cute and funny and.…" Kristoff stopped and drew in a few breaths. "I don't think either of us is ready for marriage, though."

"Good." Elsa turned to her sister, lips curling into a soft, loving smile. As afraid as she was of the moment when she really would have to give Anna away, she couldn't be angry with her for living a normal life. Marriage was something completely normal—and inevitable—and the sooner she accepted the fact the better. _He's an idiot, but Anna loves him. Remember that, Elsa; Anna's in love with him, not you._ "I'm not quite ready to let you go yet, you know."

Anna hadn't seen that kind of smile in several weeks and an unexpected shiver of pleasure raised the hairs on her arms to hear the words. It sounded like the old Elsa, the one who had been missing for far too long. She glimpsed a strange expression cross Kristoff's face as he looked at the two of them, but it was gone before she could identify the feeling behind it. A strange silence fell; Anna felt warmth and pleasure from standing by her sister, now touching at the hip, while the air between the Queen and the blond man before them remained cold and tense.

She didn't understand why the simple touch of their hips sent such thrills of pleasure through her. She didn't know why the smell of Elsa's perfume lingered in her nose, or why she felt so utterly, completely safe. But she did, and she sensed Elsa was pleased too. Anna bumped her sister with her shoulder, smiling brightly when she turned.

Elsa was also feeling the pleasure that touching her sister brought though hers ran more deeply. She realized that she was touching Anna and not collapsing into a puddle of tears, and then it registered that Anna chose to move beside her despite being closer to Kristoff when she got up. It was a small victory, but she would take it.

There was the matter at hand, too. Regardless of what her sister said, she was certain that whatever was going on before she arrived Anna didn't want to happen. And even knowing that Kristoff was the last person to think might harm her, she couldn't help but suspect the redhead was hiding something important.

"I assume that you liked your gift, given your plans for tomorrow." Elsa tried to make her voice friendly, hoping to lighten the mood, but it clearly didn't reach the man before her.

Kristoff turned red as his eyes widened. "Oh! Yes! I'm sorry; I should have thanked you right away."

"You're welcome." She gave him a diplomatic smile.

Anna wondered at the way her sister's voice kept changing between pleasant and angry. She knew Elsa didn't find Kristoff as much fun to be around as she did, but she'd always been friendly toward him—if a little stiff. Right now it seemed she didn't like him at all. In fact, she sounded as if she thought he might be an enemy. Even being jealous didn't explain that. _She doesn't know about the kiss, does she?_

That Kristoff clearly didn't see Elsa was trying to tease him was even stranger. The Queen had teased him a great deal over the previous weeks, and he usually recognized it for what it was. In fact, Anna thought they were slowly growing fond of each other. Right now, however, Elsa's joking seemed forced, and he was missing that she was teasing at all.

"So, um, Anna. About tomorrow?" Kristoff held Elsa's gaze for a moment before looking away.

Anna opened her mouth and then closed it again. She was between a rock and a hard place and didn't know which way to go. If she said yes, she would have to watch her words carefully for the entire day so as not to destroy Kristoff's dreams. If she said no, he would sulk and Elsa would probably find out what happened.

 _Well, spending the day with him shouldn't be_ _ **that**_ _uncomfortable; I'd get to see Grand Pabbie and the little ones, and maybe Grand Pabbie could give me some advice. How to ask for it without giving away the reason would be hard though. Still, it might help…._

Kristoff's cough snapped her out of her thoughts.

"I wasn't sure whether I was free, so … I mean, I know there's nothing official tomorrow, but I'd wanted to check with Elsa before I said yes. So I was just going to ask you … you, Elsa, not you, Kristoff … well, I'm asking now, I guess. Is there?"

It took a moment for Elsa to decipher what the redhead was talking about. "If you're asking whether you can go with him or not, I don't have much of a say in the matter, Anna. You've never asked before, so—"

"Ah!" Anna interrupted her. "I've been kinda rude about that, I know. Um, so, I guess … I'm going?" She managed a smile. It was silly to be so worked up over spending a few hours with Kristoff; they were still friends-even if that's all it would be.

If Grand Pabbie wasn't able to help, then maybe somewhere along the ride she could find the right words herself. She wanted desperately to be gentle when she broke his heart but if she didn't … it needed saying soon anyway, even if she couldn't express herself without hurting him.

There was always the chance that she'd simply overreacted and things would be back to normal by morning, as well. It seemed a slim chance, but it wasn't impossible. She didn't know if she wanted it to be true, or not, and that confused her more than anything. She'd always been a yes or no kind of girl, and this wavering was unlike her. Elsa's jealousy, if Astrid's observation was, in fact, correct, only threw more uncertainty into the decision; she didn't understand why, but it did.

"Great!" Kristoff beamed, his usual self again. He stepped forward unexpectedly and grabbed Anna at the waist, pulling her into a hug.

Anna gasped and pushed against him to free herself. They'd never been overly formal with each other in Elsa's presence, but embracing was something they hadn't often let her see. They'd certainly not shared a tight bear hug like Kristoff was giving her now. She could feel her sister's gaze hot on her as she tried fruitlessly to get out of the tall man's embrace.

 _Calm down, Anna. It's not so terrible, actually … unless Elsa figures out why he's so excited … oh, no. What if he kisses me? No, he wouldn't do that, but if Elsa sees him wanting to—_ "Kristoff, let me go," she finally managed, in more of a growl than she'd intended. "Please."

He did, stepping back and looking sheepish. "Sorry, I'm just excited."

"Should I send a chaperone?" Elsa asked, noticing the slightly tense air rising up around Anna, one that Kristoff apparently still didn't sense. It was intended half-jokingly, but the blond obviously didn't understand that. _Is he acting like this because … do I_ _ **need**_ _to send one? No, he wouldn't try forcing Anna to do anything. He's only being dense as usual._

Kristoff rubbed the back of his neck and blushed. "Oh. Um. Well, no, but … if you want to come along it'd be fine, too."

The temperature dropped a few degrees as Elsa tried not to glare at him, knowing he would misinterpret her renewed anger as directed at him. _Keep it separate, Elsa. He had nothing to do with it._

Maybe if she teased him more obviously, he'd finally understand she was trying to be funny—and give her time to calm down. She smirked and chuckled lightly. "If you're in that much need of a third party, perhaps I should withdraw my permission for Anna to go with you." Again, the joke fell depressingly short. _I give up._

"No, no, Elsa, don't worry," Anna interjected, confused that her sister was looking at Kristoff with near hatred. Did she really think he had so much of a chance of coming between them-was she _that_ jealous? "It would be nice for you to meet Kristoff's family, though. They've asked about you several times."

"I have absolutely no—" Elsa cut herself off. After an uncomfortable moment, she finished. "I don't have time, unfortunately. Please do give my regards, Kristoff. I'm sure one of these days I'll make it up there."

She sounded stiff and formal, but it was the only way to keep from telling him exactly how much she hated his family, and especially their patriarch. _He owes me thirteen years. He owes_ _ **us**_ _our childhood back._

Kristoff drew his eyebrows together. "O-okay," he stammered. "Um, I really do appreciate everything you've done, Elsa. Anna and me … don't worry about that."

"I trust Anna," Elsa replied, trying to calm down before the storm building inside her escaped. It would be no simple flurry this time; it never was when she thought about the troll who had nearly ruined their lives. She drew in another breath. Anna liked him. Anna trusted him. For Anna, she would keep her feelings inside.

Anna bit her lip. She could tell how hard her sister had been trying to keep the conversation light, but now Elsa was unhappy … angry, even … and Anna couldn't fathom why. She'd always refused offers to ride to the valley, but never with such vehemence.

Her expression, as her blue eyes bored through Anna's own, suggested she didn't want Anna to go either. It also suggested that she was struggling not to say so, and for some reason deeper than Anna simply going for a ride with Kristoff. _More than jealousy, but why?_

"So, um, what time?" Anna wanted to diffuse the situation before Elsa got any unhappier.

Kristoff jumped, clearly nervous under the stern stare Elsa now directed at him. "About nine? I'll have you back by dark. I-if that's ok, Elsa. If there's something Anna needs to do in the afternoon, I can make sure—"

"Anna's schedule is clear," Elsa replied, forcing herself to relax. Unless Anna specifically stated she didn't want to go, it wasn't her place to put limits on the trip. If she were rude ( _forget rude, I've been downright insulting. I should be ashamed of myself_ ) would only make Anna feel bad about going.

Her feelings about the trolls had no place in the conversation, either, so she did her best to let them dissipate the rest of the way and made one more attempt at humor. "I would prefer her home before dark, however. We don't want to lose another sleigh to a pack of wolves."

Anna choked back a laugh as Kristoff looked confused, and then embarrassed, finally glancing at her with a slightly helpless expression. "Don't worry, Elsa," she giggled. "There aren't any wolves on the road from Riverpoint, and we're unlikely to meet any from there to the valley."

Giggling behind her hand, mostly from the expression on Kristoff's face but also because Anna, at least, found the humor in the comment, Elsa nodded. _He's stupid, but it's hard to dislike him when he looks so confused._ "Very well. Still, by dark, please."

"Yes, Ma'am." Kristoff coughed.

Elsa wished he would properly recognize her rank more often, but accepted his doing it now with as graceful a nod as she could manage. "If that is settled, Anna and I will be late for dinner if we don't go now."

Kristoff nodded vigorously, flashed Anna a grin, and went for the door. After a final hearty wave, he disappeared, leaving the two women alone in a tense, uncomfortable silence that neither knew quite how to break.

 **Author's Footnotes:** I apologize for such an extended break between chapters. Life happened, so my writing time was severely hampered. With luck (and school starting back) I'll be able to get through chapters on a much more regular (and shorter) schedule. Thanks so much to IceWraith for helping me with getting this chapter finished.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author Notes:** This story contains themes that may make some readers uncomfortable. If femslash or the thought of two consenting adults engaging in a relationship that is considered taboo in the real world offends you, then this story is not for you. I welcome reviews and critiques, but the world already has enough hate, so please keep your flames to yourself. There are many other wonderful stories on this site, and I won't be offended if you choose one of them instead. _Standard Disclaimer:_ I don't make claims on any Disney trademarks/copyrights and mean no infringement on them or anybody else.

 **Chapter 5.**

The late summer air still felt warm, and Kristoff Bjorgman rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably as he started down the castle's front stairs. He was a little confused and more than a little concerned about what just transpired between him and Arendelle's royal sisters. "Well, that could've been slightly more of a disaster." Kristoff felt a headache coming on and that headache's name was Elsa. "How do I get in her good graces?" He spoke to the air; Sven might have an insight or two once he'd reached the stables, but for now he was alone. "At this rate, she's going to turn me into my own product and sell me to the Southern Isles."

His plan was simple; see Anna, invite Anna to ride to the valley, hug Anna, go home. He'd gotten all the steps finished, but that bit in the middle didn't go at all as planned. Nerves got the best of him, and Anna's reactions made him worry he might have gone overboard with the enthusiasm.

It was obvious she didn't want to go. He expected her to be a little shy about what happened, but she was downright embarrassed and he ended up practically begging her to come. Even then she was hesitant.

 _She must be worried Elsa's going to find out we kissed, the way she tried to get me to leave. Did she like it that much?_ Kristoff groaned. "What made me lie, though?" The words unexpectedly rolled off his tongue when it seemed Anna was too shy to say it herself. He tried to correct his mistake but Anna cut him off and he never had the chance.

It wasn't so much a lie as an exaggeration. He liked the kiss; Anna's lips were warm and soft, and she tasted faintly like chocolate, mixed with something definitely feminine. Even so, to say he loved it was a lie, and a big one. It made him all the more eager to get her out of the castle where they could talk without worrying that Elsa might come around the corner at any moment.

 _I wonder if she was afraid that if she went with me, Elsa_ _ **would**_ _figure out what happened._ "She'll find out, anyway. Anna should tell her before someone else does."

"Tell Anna what?" The voice came from near his waist. "Did she say yes?"

Kristoff nodded. "She did. I told you to keep an eye on Sven, Olaf."

The snowman made a gesture of dismissal. "He fell asleep. I was happy because he talks a lot."

"Yeah, sometimes he gets going like Anna, doesn't he?" The blond glanced up at the last fading red and yellow lights of day. "I think she really liked me kissing her, but she was too embarrassed to talk about it. That's gonna make things harder tomorrow."

Olaf shrugged. "Didn't you make a plan? You make a lot of plans. Do I need a plan?"

"No, Olaf, you don't. You'd forget it, anyway."

"Forget what?"

Kristoff chuckled as he ducked under the overhang of the stable roof and started toward Sven's stall. He'd be cranky when Kristoff woke him up, but he had to come home to hook up the sleigh in the morning. As expected, the reindeer was asleep in the unusual position he seemed to find most comfortable; hind legs sticking up in the air, and forelegs folded under his head.

"What a weirdo. Come on Sven, time to go." The reindeer rolled over and snorted. "Let's go, sleepyhead. You'll be more comfortable at home, anyway."

"Lemme sleep," Sven replied, though the voice sounded suspiciously like that of the only human present.

Kristoff sighed. "You won't get your snack. They're fresh, too."

The reindeer stood up, shaking his head. "Carrots are good."

"Aren't they? I love mine, it's so perfect. You like it too, right?" Olaf jumped back as Sven's teeth came close to removing his nose. "No, no, no. You can't have it; there are more at home."

Sven shook his head and whinnied, his version of laughter. He'd taken to teasing the snowman about the carrot he had for a nose, and Kristoff generally found it amusing, but tonight he only clucked his tongue and took Sven's muzzle, sliding the bridle into place.

Finished with the tack, Kristoff took the reins and tugged. "Let's go."

After they passed through the gates Olaf spoke again. "Did she say yes?"

"I already told you she did," Kristoff replied, used to answering the same question from Olaf several times. "At first she didn't want to. I suppose it might be she _didn't_ like me kissing her, but she'd have told me that then. Or tomorrow would be perfect since we'll be alone. I mean, I'm gonna talk about it, so she shouldn't be embarrassed to. It would've probably been easier if Elsa hadn't shown up."

It would have been easier if he hadn't compounded his original lie by calling their relationship official. That was an even bigger blunder than the first, though he only said it hoping Anna would balk at the upgrade. She didn't, and he dug himself an even deeper hole.

"Oh, Elsa. She's in love with Anna, isn't she?"

Kristoff chuckled. "Not _in_ love, Olaf. They're sisters; that's different. But, yeah, Elsa loves Anna."

Olaf rubbed his chin. "But Anna loves you. Does she love Elsa too? Isn't that wrong?"

"Different things," Kristoff replied. "Though, I think they're closer than most sisters are." He remembered the way Elsa looked at Anna; it wasn't the way one sister normally looked at another, at least among his own sisters. "Elsa's really attached to Anna, anyway." He rubbed the back of his neck. _Really attached._

"They're in love," Sven said, snorting and tossing his head. "It's obvious unless you're an idiot."

Olaf laughed. "I bet Anna got worried when Elsa came in, huh?"

The tall blond shrugged. "There's something between them, but I doubt Anna sees it. She wouldn't spend so much time with me if she did. Elsa's definitely jealous, though."

"She'll freeze you if you make her mad," Sven commented.

"Did you make Elsa mad?" Olaf looked up at him. "I don't want Elsa to be mad. She's scary when she's mad."

Kristoff blew out his breath. "She got really upset when I asked her to come, but I'm pretty sure it's only because she didn't want to see me and Anna being all lovey. Not that _that's_ going to happen."

Sven grunted. "She hates you."

"She's only looking out for Anna," Kristoff returned. "That's what family does. It doesn't mean she hates me, right?" Sometimes he wasn't so sure Elsa _didn't_ hate him, but usually the Queen was pleasant. She even tried to tease him on occasion though she wasn't very good at it.

Then he remembered the look on Elsa's face when Anna told her his family wanted to meet her. It went beyond not wanting a ride; she was angry about something, and it involved the trolls. _She's never met them, has she?_ A memory tickled his mind; the sound of thundering hooves. He'd followed them and found the trolls, but there was more; something to do with a curse and … the rest eluded him.

Whatever Elsa disliked about the valley, she very obviously had no intentions of ever going there. It hurt him a bit that she would have such animosity toward his family, but he'd learned that with the Queen, it was best not to ask about things that made her emotional.

 _I wonder if she_ _ **was**_ _teasing, asking about me and Anna getting married. I hope so—she didn't look like she was teasing, though. That's an expression I'd rather not see again. If she's that concerned about it I've got to be really clear with Anna tomorrow. Can't have Elsa worrying I might propose right away—or at all._

"What if she still expects me to?" Kristoff sensed that Elsa only partially believed him when he said he didn't plan to ask Anna to marry. The look she gave her sister when he denied the intention was definitely possessive—as if she wanted to lay claim to Anna completely, and not just as family. If she still thought he might propose, he could be in serious trouble. The idea of having the Queen of Arendelle mad at him made his blood run cold. If she got very angry, it would be more than his blood that caught a chill.

"To do what?" Olaf looked expectantly at him.

Kristoff blushed and looked away. "Nothing; it might not matter anyway, so I can't worry about it right now."

Only two months had passed since he met Anna, but they quickly became close, and he enjoyed her company greatly. He wouldn't mind keeping that closeness forever, but he doubted it would bloom into a marriage proposal. Given how much Anna seemed to love _him_ , though, he didn't want her sister worrying about a quick engagement—or Anna to expect one.

If he didn't know how ridiculous it was, he'd think Elsa _was_ in love with Anna, especially after the little confrontation he'd just been through. It was hard not to notice the way Anna looked back sometimes, too—even tonight, gazing at Elsa with unabashed adoration…. "That really is idiotic. Those two wouldn't go _that_ far."

"Who wouldn't go that far?" Olaf seemed confused.

Kristoff laughed. "Anna and Elsa."

"Go how far for what?" The snowman looked intently at him.

"They wouldn't—" realizing that Olaf wasn't able to keep anything to himself, he stopped and grinned. "Nah, it's nothing. Anna's in love with me so it doesn't matter."

Sven grunted. "Idiot."

"That's right," Olaf added. "Doesn't Anna want to marry you? Geez, you're so forgetful sometimes."

"I never said that was a fact," Kristoff grumbled. "Why would she want to? I mean, sure Anna loves me, and sure we'd be happy enough together, but I'm a commoner and a…."

 _Half-breed, half-breed, nothing but a bastard._ The taunts he endured in childhood still haunted him. They were right, but it hurt to hear it over and over again. When his adopted father forgot him that night at the lake, he decided to not go back. Whether he found the trolls by accident or fate didn't matter; they welcomed him and loved him, and he loved them back. To him, they were his real family—they'd never abandon him, or make fun of him. _I guess it's like that for Elsa and Anna, too. Elsa just isn't good at showing it._

"Do you want to get married?" Olaf grinned. "Anna's nice; I like her."

Kristoff looked away and colored slightly. "Well … I don't know. Anna _is_ nice, but I'm not sure I'm ready for that." He sighed. "I'm not ready for that at all." Anna's sister aside, things changed for him when they kissed.

Kristoff knew little about kissing. He knew little about girls in general; other than Anna, the only women he interacted with were those on his customer list. Even so, he could tell that the princess was a _very_ good kisser. So he didn't hate it, he simply didn't love it the way he expected he would.

He expected to hear trumpets and angels singing, but all he heard was Sven laughing. He expected to want to kiss again, and again. Instead, he found himself trying to find an excuse not to repeat the experience. His expectations for the future didn't shatter; they simply faded away into the realization that what he felt wasn't love after all.

 _It's not the same as hers, anyway. Maybe I just don't understand; is it different for guys? Are guys supposed to hear angels singing? That does sound a little … weird. I like being with her, I like holding hands with her and hugging is really nice, but…. Aren't I supposed to want to … even if we shouldn't do that until after the wedding?_

They reached the town square, and he paused, looking over to where he and Anna stood that afternoon _._ If Anna thought nobody would mention seeing them kiss to the Queen, she was delusional. He was in a race against time to talk to her before her sister did find out what happened.

"I probably shouldn't have been so insistent." Kristoff rubbed the back of his neck. "I _could've_ gone alone and talked to Grand Pabbie first." It wasn't advice he'd ever expected to need, but then he'd never expected to have a princess fall in love with him, either

He'd never asked what it should feel like to be in love; even if his family _were_ experts, talking about himself—especially about _that_ —was too embarrassing. Now he faced having not just a girl, but the Queen of Arendelle's little sister, in love with him and he was completely lost.

"Talked about what?" Olaf still looked at him with a curious expression.

"Telling Anna I want to … I dunno what I want to do, actually."

"Is it because Elsa's in love with her?"

Kristoff shook his head, rolling his eyes. "Elsa isn't in love with Anna, Olaf. Drop that, will you? Her feelings have nothing to do with this, anyway." _Probably. If she_ _ **is**_ _, then I'm…._

"You'll end up frozen you if you make Anna cry." Sven nudged him.

"No, I won't! At least … I don't _think_ Elsa would freeze me." He knew parents could be protective, but the ability to freeze him and the rest of Arendelle on a whim went slightly beyond grabbing a bow. If he didn't have things straightened out with Anna before Elsa found out about that kiss, he'd have bigger problems than outrunning an arrow, too.

It confused him to be so conflicted about something so simple. He did love Anna. He loved her a lot. Was he _in_ love, that was the question, and one he couldn't answer. He wanted to always have her in his life, but was that enough of a reason to marry? He got aroused when she cuddled next to him on the sleigh, but the temptation to act on it was easily controlled. Would he be able to do the kinds of things a husband should with her?

When he looked at Anna like that it seemed … wrong, somehow. He loved her, but he got the feeling he wasn't meant to be with her with forever. That feeling went beyond the difference in their stations, beyond the closeness they'd developed, beyond Elsa's obvious … possessiveness? "Nah, Elsa may be a little too attached to her, but she'd never seriously try to stop her from being with the lucky guy who steals her heart."

Sven snorted. "Isn't that you?"

"Is it?" He'd been so focused he hadn't paid attention to how Anna reacted to his suggestion about handling his family's obsession with marrying them. "Does she not want me to propose? Was it too soon for her, too?" he murmured. "Maybe she's not as in love as I thought."

Another snort sounded in his ear, and Sven nudged him hard, leaving a smear of drool across the side of his head. "She isn't."

Olaf trotted ahead of them. "But Anna is coming tomorrow, isn't she?"

"She's coming. I just hope I don't fall on my face with this."

"With what?"

"We're going to talk about some things, and I don't want to sound like an idiot. That's all." Kristoff kept his voice even but inside he was far from calm. He didn't know if Elsa would be happy to find out he wanted to slow things down with her sister, or if she'd be furious that he made Anna cry—if Anna _did_ cry. _She'll cry, but hopefully not much._

 _Oh, no, what if I made her think I want to talk about_ _ **getting**_ _married?_ Kristoff stopped at the edge of the square and groaned. "I really did overdo it, didn't I?" Sven's grunt reinforced the realization.

At the time, all he worried about was convincing Anna to ride with him; it never occurred to him how she might interpret his insistence. _Is that the reason she didn't want to come? Is she worried about Elsa, too? Or is she not ready either?_

"Overdo what?"

Getting irritated with his diminutive companion's eternal curiosity, Kristoff just growled and started walking again.

 _I don't want to get married yet, but I do love her. Am I in love with her? Is she in love with me—or am I in the way of someone else? Whatever I do, Anna comes first; whatever I do…._ He looked again at the sky, sighing. _A fine mess you've gotten yourself into, Bjorgman. Let's hope you get out without being banished or turned into a block of ice._

* * *

In the parlor, an uncomfortable silence followed the ice cutter's departure; the ticking of the clock on the mantle counted time as the seconds passed. Anna started to speak once but thought better of it when she saw the look on Elsa's face. It was one of annoyance she didn't quite know how to respond to; she couldn't tell if Elsa was annoyed with Kristoff or with herself.

 _Probably both. She came in ready to fight about that marriage thing and Kristoff shoved his foot in his mouth every time he opened it. Maybe she's embarrassed about how mad she got when he asked her to come with us. I wonder why she did? His family's great … other than trying to marry us every time we're there. She must've heard us talking about it; is that the reason?_

"I'm sorry he showed up so late," she murmured when the silence grew too long.

"Was he pressuring you to go with him?" Elsa felt surprisingly calm being alone in Anna's presence, given her certainty that such an event would be disastrous. "He didn't _actually_ propose, did he?"

The way Elsa's voice wavered surprised Anna; in fact, the entire exchange surprised her. Elsa's mood bounced all over the place; one moment she was the warm sister Anna loved, and seconds later the stiff, distant woman she'd been for the last ten days.

Elsa seemed to be fighting an inner battle about how she close she should be with Anna. When Anna looked back, her sister had been struggling the same way for some time, and distance appeared to be winning. Kristoff had something to do with it, but Anna had no idea how.

I _t's one thing to not like me spending so much time with him, but she looked almost scary talking about marriage. Being jealous doesn't explain why she's avoiding me, either. It should make her want to spend more time with me, not less._

"No, he didn't propose." She spoke quietly, unsure how she should answer the first question. "I honestly didn't know if there was something I had to do tomorrow, so he wasn't pressuring me. He really wanted me to go, and I wasn't sure if I felt like riding that long, that's all."

Elsa sensed that Anna wasn't telling the whole truth, but she was desperate to lighten the mood and didn't press the matter. Instead, she smiled, wanting both to change the topic and to praise her sister for a likely once-in-a-lifetime occurrence. "I'm shocked you came down so early. You even beat me."

A broad grin spread across Anna's face. "My mission was successful, then." The smile dimmed. "At least part of it; I'd hoped to spend the extra time with you, but Kristoff showed up."

Elsa drew in a deep breath. "I would have liked that." Gesturing toward the door she continued in an apologetic voice, "I'm sorry about just now. I was trying to put him at ease, and I failed miserably. Not that I mind you going; I was … I shouldn't worry. He adores you too much to let anything happen to you. You couldn't have a better guard."

Blinking several times, Anna tried to put together a coherent response. Minutes earlier, her sister looked as if she wanted to banish Kristoff to somewhere he'd never get back from. For her to apologize now—and even praise him—was something she didn't expect from the Elsa she'd seen for the last two weeks.

"I know you were trying, Elsa. You're just … I don't think he could tell you weren't being serious. Usually, he gets it when you're kidding, but ... I guess he was preoccupied today or something, and … well, sometimes you try too hard and it shows. Just smiling is enough."

"You're right." Elsa frowned. She wished desperately to be as free as her sister when she spoke to others, but every time she tried, it seemed to make things worse instead. "I should know better than to try to be funny around him. Are you mad at me?"

Anna shook her head. "How could I be mad at you? I'd hold off on the teasing for a while, though; you make him nervous even when he gets it. You _are_ the Queen after all." _If he's around after I tell him._

"That's the last thing I want." Elsa stared at the ceiling. "You're in love with him, and he adores you; I'd be a terrible sister for trying to come between you." She wondered if her tongue was bleeding from forcing herself to lie. More than anything, she wanted to come between them; she wanted Anna to herself, the ice cutter be damned. _She's not yours, she won't be yours, and she can't be yours, Elsa. It's wrong on every level._ "I simply don't want to see you hurt. Being in love is painful sometimes."

"I'm not in—" Anna turned red. Elsa looked at her curiously, and she managed a weak laugh. "He's a great guy, he really is. I'm just more interested in getting to know you again than in getting married right now." _What does she mean love is painful? Well, I love her and it hurts being ignored, so_ … "I guess not being important enough to talk to _is_ pretty painful." The color drained from her face when she realized she'd spoken aloud. "Elsa, I didn't mean—"

Elsa fought to control her embarrassment as the temperature dropped. She couldn't take offense at the statement, even if it _was_ blunt; it revealed how unhappy her sister really was. "I truly am sorry that I haven't been able to spend more time with you, Anna. It isn't that you aren't important, it really isn't. I simply haven't had a break."

"More like you've been avoiding me." Anna blew out her breath. The temperature dropped again. "That's how I feel, Elsa. You may not like to hear it, but you're hurting my feelings; a lot."

"That's something we can discuss later." Elsa's voice came out more stiffly that she'd intended. She wasn't ready to discuss it; she needed more time to find the right words and being put on the spot made her even more uncomfortable. If she didn't postpone the matter for now, she would likely end up in tears, and with tears came snow. "It certainly isn't a topic for the front parlor."

Anna got angry. "That's exactly what I mean!" She didn't care that the temperature was still dropping. "You've been saying we'll talk later for two weeks now. If I've pissed you off, tell me why instead of shutting me out."

"ANNA!" Elsa looked around when she realized how loud her voice was and tried to pull her magic back inside before it grew any stronger. _Don't feel. Don't let your emotions show now, not now. Not tonight. I have to end this before anyone else sees._ In a whisper, she continued, "Don't speak like that in public! We will talk, I promise."

"When?" Anna crossed her arms angrily, not lowering her voice in the least. "Tomorrow? Next week? The fourth of never?"

It started to snow. Elsa knew her sister felt ignored; she'd known it for a week, but the fear of Anna discovering her secret drowned out the voice of her conscience. Avoiding, ignoring… No matter what word she used, the result was Anna looking miserable and alone. _I've been too preoccupied to see what I was doing to her. How could I hurt her only to protect myself?_

"We have to go, Anna. I promised we would talk, and we will." Elsa gritted her teeth and forced the snow to stop. She'd wanted it to be a surprise for after dinner, but she knew if she didn't say something now Anna would be too angry later to care. "I asked Bridgette to arrange my work so we could have tea tonight. We'll talk then." She hoped she sounded calmer than she felt. If she'd made Anna that angry… _What if it's too late?_

At first, Anna thought Elsa might be trying to put her off again, that there'd be some excuse later why she wouldn't make it. _She'd never lie about something like that. Did she really take what I said this afternoon to heart? Does it really matter?_ "Are you serious?" Elsa nodded, and Anna squealed and leaped at her, sweeping her into a tight hug. The momentum knocked the Queen off balance and propelled them both through the doorway and into the hall.

"I'm so happy! I can't wait—it'll be so fun! There'll be tarts, right? Tarts are so good with tea. Ooh, and truffles? Oh, right, I already mentioned that this afternoon. Chocolate cake would be yummy. We could wrestle for the last piece; I won't try to strip you this time—wait, what?" She stopped and looked embarrassed. "That didn't come out right."

A deep cough from behind them startled her. She let go of her sister and slowly turned around to face Lord Fritzen, whose expression showed extreme irritation.

"I should hope it didn't," he growled at her. "It's hardly appropriate to discuss stripping a grown woman—the Queen of Arendelle!—in the main hallway, Your Highness. It is certainly not proper to say such a thing when you are also assaulting her, don't you agree?"

"I didn't mean it the way it sounded! And I was only giving her a hug." Anna fought against showing her embarrassment.

"With respect, Ma'am, suggesting that you are in the habit of forcibly removing your sister's clothing would be shocking enough to a visitor. To do so while wrapped around her as you were might even be construed to mean your relationship is inappropriately close."

Despite her desire to go off about the suggestion, Anna tried to remember she _was_ in the hallway, and spoke as calmly as possible. "It was a simple hug, and your suggestion is ridiculous, My Lord." _Just like thinking about being Elsa's lover was a while ago. We don't really look like that, do we?_

Lord Fritzen snorted. "A simple hug does not almost knock someone down, Ma'am." The man's face darkened. "I can only hope your words don't indicate what _does_ happen in private." His tone came close to insulting, but as Anna was about to point that out, the man bowed shortly to Elsa. "I apologize for speaking so directly, Your Majesty, but I trust you see my concern."

Anna clenched her jaw. She liked Lord Fritzen about as much as she liked that bastard Hans, which said something considering she'd wanted Elsa to freeze that jackass and ship him back to the Southern Isles as an iceberg. Elsa was also afraid of him which made Anna like the man even less. Her sister was still nervous around others, especially the Council, but he was different; something happened between them in the past that made for a distinct temperature drop when she was near him.

"She was speaking of something from our childhood, My Lord." Elsa felt irritated both with her sister and him. Anna had trouble controlling her mouth to start with, and it got worse around the man standing in front of them. Even so, it did seem strange for him to assign such importance to something so simple. _He hasn't noticed anything, has he? Dear Freya, please, no._ "Though frankly, while Anna shouldn't mention such things, what I do in private is none of your concern." She fought the blush that reddened her face and the snow threatening to return in force.

Before the accident, she and Anna often tussled over the last piece of chocolate, be it truffles or cakes. Elsa was significantly larger, so her sister devised the trick of pulling Elsa's nightgown over her head so she had to fight her way out of it. By the time that happened, whatever they'd been arguing over was in Anna's stomach. The memory was sweet, but the image of it happening now made her sweat.

Lord Fritzen frowned more deeply and studied her for a long moment before grunting and bowing again. "My apologies for overstepping my role, Ma'am. It is not my place to correct Princess Anna or to intrude into your personal life."

"It sure isn't!" Anna nodded emphatically. "Try to remember that next time."

"There won't _be_ a next time." Elsa knew her sister would say something else that they would both regret and moved to end the conversation. "I understand your concern and thank you for your observations." She smiled gently. "I'm certain Anna also appreciates your position, don't you, Anna?"

Recognizing that Elsa's calm expression meant she expected an equally calm response, Anna assumed a regal stance and nodded. "Indeed, I do. Thank you, Lord Fritzen, for your opinion; asked for or not."

"Anna!" Anna looked at her innocently, and Elsa wished for a moment that she could drag her sister back into the parlor and have a long, not-quite-nice talk about social decorum. She didn't know why she felt such a sense of panic around the man before her; the reason hid in the mists of her childhood. Her fear existed very much in the present, however, and she'd do almost anything to keep him from growing any angrier.

"I'm surprised to see you here, Your Majesty." The older man ignored the barb. "You should already be in the sitting room." He turned to Anna with a darker expression. "I assume something you did is responsible for the delay?"

Anna pursed her lips and tried to be civil. "There's no law that says the Queen has to appear early; what's wrong with not doing it once in a while?"

The older man narrowed his gaze. "Don't you think our guests will take her late appearance as a comment on her opinion of them?"

"We are still ten minutes early, My Lord." Elsa spoke quickly. His mood seemed slightly improved, and she wanted to keep it that way. "Our guests already have their opinions about me, which they communicated quite clearly this afternoon. I think it more likely they're relieved to be without my company for as long as possible."

"She was talking to a guest," Anna added. "It's not like she was wandering around aimlessly."

Lord Fritzen made a noise of disgust. "The ice cutter shouldn't take precedence over representatives of our allies, don't you agree? He is here far too often that a discussion couldn't wait."

"Just because he's a close friend doesn't—"

Elsa interrupted her sister. "It needed attending to tonight." She tried to maintain the regal coolness she'd managed to find. "Now, I believe we should consider the matter settled, or we _will_ be late."

The Lord stared at her for longer than anyone should at their monarch; Anna, sensing Elsa was struggling to remain calm, grabbed her hand and started walking. Elsa went willingly, and Fritzen, after standing in place for a few seconds longer, finally followed.

"He's a bully," Anna said under her breath as she towed her sister down the hall. She glanced back, saw Elsa's frustrated expression and repeated the words slightly louder. "I wonder if he ever has something positive to say."

Elsa knew that if she yanked her hand away Anna would get needlessly upset. Every moment of contact made her heart pound harder, however, so she withdrew it gently and kept a neutral expression as they turned the corner toward the dining room.

"It won't be about you dragging the Queen around." The corridor bustled with people, both servants, and guests. They were lucky not to have been overheard in the front hall; there were far too many people around now to let the redhead keep going. "Anna, please don't make a scene about it. These men may hate me, but they don't hate Arendelle, and we need to show them that Arendelle remains vital to them and their trade. Going off over a simple comment won't look good."

"It wasn't a simple comment." Anna was still irritated. "He has no right to correct you, anyway. It was just a hug." _Though hugging her was soooo much better than hugging Kristoff—soft and warm and peaceful. That's how a hug should feel. That's how hugging Kristoff should feel. I should want to pull him closer, not push him away. Why can't I feel the same thing with him I do with Elsa?_

"It's his job to correct me." Elsa drew in her breath and let it out heavily. "I hate it, you hate it, but his job is to train me, Anna. I may be able to bluff my way through a meeting, but I know as little about the world outside the gates as you do—probably less. The ability to place a country on a map and list important facts about it doesn't mean I won't make a horrible blunder when I'm face-to-face with someone. You can only learn so much through an oak door."

Anna swallowed hard, hearing Elsa's voice crack. They rarely discussed it, and never at any length, but she sensed Elsa was as unhappy behind the closed door as Anna herself was on the other side of it. She didn't want to upset her sister even further right before dinner, though, so she smiled brightly and bumped Elsa's shoulder again.

"I wonder if the kitchen has any lemons. Wouldn't a lemon pie be perfect for the weather?"

"I have absolutely no idea." Elsa was more than willing to be distracted. "You're the one who keeps tabs on the sweets. I've gotten enough complaints about you stealing desserts to suggest you know exactly what the kitchen has."

Anna couldn't decide if her sister was joking with her. _She really is lousy at humor today._ "No lemon pie then, I guess. Marta cut the last ones up for tea this morning."

Elsa stifled a snicker, though Anna heard the noise, as she turned and smiled mischievously. Returning the smile with a slight one of her own, she made sure her voice was soft. "There are things you can't protect me from, Anna. That doesn't mean I don't appreciate that you try."

"You protect me from a lot more." Anna glanced over her shoulder to find Lord Fritzen walking close enough behind them he might be able to overhear what they were saying. "It's _my_ job to protect you from bullies." From the scowl, she was fairly sure he had, which was her intention.

"You're a brat." Elsa leaned closer so she wouldn't be heard. "Stop poking the bear, too." She realized a moment later she and Anna were rubbing shoulders and quickly stepped back. _That wasn't so bad, actually; not in the parlor, either. I survived that hug, too…. Maybe avoiding her wasn't the right thing to do. Though holding her hand was … hard._

They reached the doorway of the sitting room before Anna was able to come up with a witty response, so instead she took Elsa's hand again, giving it a quick squeeze before putting on her most welcoming smile and going inside.

Elsa stood there for a moment, only partially to give those already assembled time to stand up and face her. Mostly, it was to still her heart, which started thudding again when Anna took her hand. _Avoiding, probably a mistake. Touching … that's still debatable._ When Lord Fritzen coughed, she drew in a deep breath, tried to smile, and joined her sister.

Anna glanced at her as she greeted the guests, wondering at the expression she'd seen fleetingly when Elsa looked at her from the doorway. There was a visible ache on her face, one that Anna couldn't decipher. _I'll ask at tea. There's so much to talk about we might be up all night._

With a chuckle at the idea of sitting until dawn eating sweets with the Queen of Arendelle, Anna took a seat next to the envoy from Grottony and his wife. After first apologizing for her accent, she struck up a conversation in their native tongue. She'd disliked her foreign language lessons growing up, but she'd listened and now spoke both passable Grotton and Farsish. Elsa said this was an important dinner, and Anna would to do everything she could to help out.

When the envoy asked about her favorite foods from his country, she happily started listing them, tea fading to the back of her mind. She didn't like to act as one, but she was a princess, and if it made Elsa smile more easily, she would be the best princess their guests had ever seen.

 **Author Afternotes:** I hope to have another chapter posted next weekend, and possibly one more by the end of the month. Years of typing have caught up with me, and I will be going in for surgery the first part of September. It will be a few weeks before I can type again, so there will likely be another gap in posts. I'll do my best to leave you with enough to chew on before then.

The girls' relationship is starting to heat up, but it's going to be angsty for a while longer. That doesn't mean there won't be an occasional flare-up; in fact, the next chapter will earn the M rating, so stay tuned!


	6. Chapter 6

**Author Notes:** This story contains themes that may make some readers uncomfortable. If femslash or the thought of two consenting adults engaging in a relationship that is considered taboo in the real world offends you, then this story is not for you. I welcome reviews and critiques, but the world already has enough hate, so please keep your flames to yourself. There are many other wonderful stories on this site, and I won't be offended if you choose one of them instead. _Standard Disclaimer:_ I don't make claims on any Disney trademarks/copyrights and mean no infringement on them or anybody else.

 **Special Note: The original chapter 6 was too long, so I split it into three shorter chapters. I got a little too laser targeted on getting it done before surgery and didn't pay attention to the length.**

 **Chapter 6.**

The butterflies in Anna's stomach were as strong as those before Elsa's coronation-possibly stronger. She'd been pacing a line across her sitting room floor for twenty minutes and was starting to think the clock needed winding. _Just a little longer._ Only a few minutes until a bedtime tea more important than any other in her life.

"Astrid, are you sure this clock isn't slow?" She hoped it was, and not time standing still.

Astrid poked her head out of the bedroom. "I wound it this morning, My Lady. Don't worry, nine will be here soon enough. A watched clock never chimes, my grandmother said."

"Ugh, this is killing me." Anna paced a few more steps and collapsed onto the settee with a frustrated sigh. "I can't believe she listened for once. Maybe she really is just overworked." She glanced at the clock again. "Are you sure you wound it all the way?"

"Yes, My Lady. I wound it properly. Should I stay to change you later, or leave your gown on the bed?"

Anna still wore the clothes from dinner, something she normally didn't do. Usually, the first thing she did upon coming back upstairs was to bathe and prepare for bed. Until the awkwardness between them, both she and her sister took tea in their night clothes. It felt strange to still be dressed, but then the entire situation was strange.

"Just leave it." Anna rubbed her hands on her knees and tried to calm her nerves. She'd considered changing but didn't want to assume anything by Elsa's decision. _She might even be mad at me._ "Oh, no, what if she is mad? What if she knows about…? Of course not; she wouldn't have tea to lecture me … would she? Maybe she would. Maybe she figured something out while Kristoff was here, and waited until after dinner—no, she said she already asked Bridgette. Maybe she wants to make up. I don't remember doing anything bad, but…. Maybe she'll explain why she pushed me away." _Maybe, maybe, maybe._

Anna got up and started pacing again, fighting the urge to rub her face, which would ruin her makeup. Instead, she swung her arms around nervously. _What do I say to her? Oh, by the way, what made you hate me?_ _ **That**_ _would go over well._

"I wonder what she _will_ say about it. Wait, what are we going to talk about? I know I'm just going to babble, and that'll make her mad again, and she'll probably throw me out. Could she throw me out of the parlor? I wonder why she picked there instead of her room like we always do. Neutral ground, maybe. That sounds like Elsa, always diplomatic."

Anna spun around and stared at the clock again. It had only changed by three minutes. She would go crazy before it finally chimed nine. As always, Elsa was very specific about the time. She was as precise as Anna was scattered, and at times like this, Anna really hated that preciseness.

Dinner wasn't as horrible as she expected. Despite what she'd overheard about the envoys, they both seemed reasonably friendly. She hit it off with the Grottnian envoy's wife, Helga, when she mentioned a love of leverpostel with cheese curd. Helga was a large, jovial woman who seemed not to care about much beyond eating. Anna thought she was wonderful.

The Farsish envoy and his wife were far more stand-offish—snooty, Anna told Elsa and got no disagreement—and treated the Queen with an odd sympathy. While nice enough to her they clearly considered her sister a different matter altogether.

All-in-all, Anna classified the meal as a success. She only got a few minutes alone with Elsa afterward before being shooed her upstairs so her sister could get to her work more quickly, but the Queen seemed pleased with her performance.

Anna passed by the mirror and stopped to check herself, in case she had rubbed her makeup into some weird melange of colors. She didn't wear makeup often, for precisely the reason she now needed to check, and didn't want to show up looking like a circus clown. Her makeup was still in place so she turned slightly and studied her profile. She had to admit, eyeshadow and blush brought out her features, and she wondered briefly if Elsa liked her more with or without. Either way, even makeup couldn't hide that she wasn't as pretty as Elsa.

 _Well, nobody's as pretty as Elsa._ Anna sighed; more than a few of the gentlemen who sat at the table with them spent a part of their meal stealing looks at the young Queen. Most of those looks weren't frightened or curious—they were wolfish. It made Anna a little jealous that not as many looked at her the same way, but only a little.

It angered her more than anything; Elsa was not a prize to be won or a challenge to be conquered. She was intelligent, had a wonderfully quirky sense of humor when she chose to show it, and did not take kindly to being treated like an object. Occasionally, Elsa would notice a gentleman's leer. He often excused himself soon after, usually tugging at his pants uncomfortably. Anna saw her sister's irritation and had to hide giggles at her stealthy response.

She spent more time than she liked to admit looking at her sister; Elsa's lips were soft, but so were other parts of her body and it was hard not to stare when she walked past in one of the sparkly ice dresses she wore.

 _For someone so shy, she sure is unconcerned about being on display like that._ Even Anna blushed when Elsa bent over; no matter the angle, her sister was arresting. She had a small frame but the body on that frame was breathtaking. Every curve was perfect, from her slender neck to her tiny waist, and to the hips that stopped conversations whenever she walked by. The most exquisite part of her body were her breasts, larger than would be expected for a woman her size, but firm and beckoning.

Elsa's breasts garnered a good deal of attention, particularly in the low-cut dresses she wore before she'd started to withdraw from public view. From a particular position, it was possible to even see the shadows where the visible curve of white skin vanished beneath her neckline. She didn't wear bindings; she didn't need them. Not that Anna did, either, though simply because she wasn't big enough to bother. Elsa's breasts were firm enough not to need support despite their size. That irked Anna at times, but she found it hard to fault her sister for what nature gave her.

"She does have incredible breasts." Anna wasn't the only woman who noticed. Most of those looks were jealous, but now and then she'd catch a woman looking at Elsa with a different kind of expression. It wasn't envy... it reminded her of how some of the men looked at her sister.

Those expressions made her jealous, too, but for a different reason. She didn't like women looking at Elsa like that—at _her_ Elsa—any more than she did men. Anna laughed; there was absolutely no reason for the feeling, but whenever a young maid or visiting noblewoman stole one too many glances at the Queen, Anna's claws came out.

Her sister seemed oblivious to the attention. There was quite a bit of chatter when she first appeared in the slinky attire, and a brief attempt at duplicating the fashion was quickly squashed by irate husbands and fathers. Nobody could tell the Queen what to wear, however, and she ignored any attempts to try.

Bridgette finally convinced her to stop wearing them during the day after a near international incident involving the Earl of Shoresbury's extremely jealous wife and a bouquet of roses. Dinner was a different matter, and Elsa stood firm until the day she stopped speaking to her sister.

Anna realized she hadn't seen one of the flowing dresses since the night everything changed. She remembered waking up at some point when Elsa screamed but when the noises didn't continue she decided that if it was a nightmare, Elsa had it under control and went back to sleep. When her sister turned around and walked away from Anna's attempted morning hug the next day, the dream no longer mattered.

"I wonder what she dreamed about." Anna turned and looked at herself from another angle. "That can't be why she started ignoring me, can it? Is she mad I didn't come check on her?" She'd never understood why her sister had such terrible dreams. She vaguely remembered two or three from before Elsa went away, and had heard her a few times through the years that they were apart, but Elsa either didn't remember or wouldn't share the reasons.

She'd had one shortly after things settled down from the coronation. It was the first time Anna actually saw the results; rushing in to help she nearly slipped on the ice that spotted the floor. Elsa was too distraught to explain—all she wanted was her sister's embrace.

They finished the night sleeping together like they'd done after a bad dream as children. Anna giggled. That was when she first realized how curvy her sister had become as an adult. They cuddled together as children, but cuddling with Elsa that night was a completely different experience. From that day, Anna was fascinated with her sister's breasts. She was always comparing Elsa to other women—and there were some nice-looking women in Arendelle—but Elsa always won.

"There isn't much on her that's not perfect." Anna turned from the mirror and wandered toward the window. "I wish I looked like that." She was shapely enough, admittedly, but Elsa was … _stacked?_ It was a term she'd heard one of the stable hands use to describe a buxom kitchen maid and seemed to fit, though she understood she shouldn't say it to her sister's face.

It was pointless to compare herself, and Anna knew it. Elsa's beauty was ethereal and mature, while her little sister Anna was "just so cute and adorable." In other words, she still looked childish. Anna sighed. _I wonder if I'll look as mature at twenty-one?_ By then her sister would be twenty-four and probably married with children.

"Now, that's an image!" Anna tried to picture Elsa pregnant and almost burst into laughter. Trying to picture her sister kissing a husband was not as amusing. Thinking about marriage threatened to drag her back into her worries about Kristoff, and she started pacing yet again. The hands of the clock seemed to take forever as they crept toward nine.

"Are you sure you wound—"

"I wound the clock, My Lady." Astrid joined her mistress in the sitting room. "I laid out your gown and turned down the bed. Is there anything else before I go?"

"No, nothing. Thank you, Astrid." Anna smiled. "I'll give you all the details tomorrow."

"That isn't necessary," the girl quickly replied. "I'm sure it will go splendidly."

Anna nodded vigorously. "I hope so!"

With a curtsey, Astrid took her leave, and Anna started pacing again. Only twenty-three more minutes.

* * *

While Anna fretted and paced, down the hall her sister felt just as nervous. Elsa finished her work faster than expected and had been in her room trying to read for nearly an hour, waiting impatiently for nine o'clock to arrive. She was also still dressed and worried about what Anna would show up wearing.

Her sister wore as little as possible to bed, so she often came to tea without her robe; at first, Elsa didn't care. Not until she recognized the feelings she'd developed did she realize how thin Anna's summer nightgowns were, and how much they showed when she leaned forward. _She'll have enough sense to wear her robe, at least. I hope._

"Bridgette, were you able to do what I asked?" Elsa looked over her shoulder at the older woman performing the same tasks as her counterpart in Anna's room. "I know it was very late notice."

Bridgette smiled and nodded. "The kitchen was more than happy to comply. They are all pleased to hear that you and Her Highness have made up."

"Made up, huh?" Elsa sighed. "It wasn't a fight—just me being an ass."

"Excuse me?" Bridgette blinked several times. _Where is she learning these words?_ "Regardless of the reason, they are all relieved to see you together again."

 _Together again._ Elsa blushed. _Let's hope I can remember what those words are supposed to mean between us._ "It was wrong of me to push her away because of my own … problems. I thought it was the right thing to do, and it wasn't." She kept her voice even to hide the lie.

"I'm sure she'll understand." Bridgette saw through Elsa's words easily. She still didn't know why her mistress had withdrawn from her sister, but it had little to do with Elsa's powers or her control over them. That made the flushing of the Queen's face all the more confusing. "The sweets cart should help her with that."

"Did the kitchen overdo it?"

With a chuckle, Bridgette shrugged. "That is a matter of opinion."

Elsa shook her head in mock dismay. "There are times all the chocolate in Arendelle wouldn't be enough for Anna." She smiled at the older woman. "Thank you, Bridgette. I owe you an apology. My behavior of late has been deplorable."

"The Queen never needs to apologize, Ma'am. I'm just happy that you're smiling again." Bridgette nodded. "Her Highness will certainly feel the same."

After a moment of silence, Elsa turned and walked to the window—the same one she had frosted over earlier in the day—and looked out into the darkness. She owed Anna a greater apology than anyone for her actions. Bridgette was right, though; Anna would forgive her and things would go back to normal. It was up to her to keep them that way.

Bridgette studied her charge's back. The Queen had no idea how relieved everyone was that whatever had gone wrong between the royal sisters was fixed. She and a few others were even more relieved than most; it would be bad for Arendelle if they continued to grow apart. It was enough that Princess Anna was so taken with the ice cutter, for anything else to come between the sisters would not bode well for the future.

"What was it the Madams Karlsbaad and Salome are doing tomorrow?" Elsa asked quietly, still staring out the window trying to lose herself in the darkness. At dinner, both women did a good job of ignoring her. Mrs. Karlsbaad was more interested in the menu than conversation, though she and Anna seemed to get on well—not surprisingly.

Madame Salome was as haughty as her husband and apparently held the same opinion about her host's powers. Every comment she made sounded as though she were asking either about Elsa's "condition" or her arrangements for a successor. Elsa smiled through it, but she was ready to scream by dessert. It was more of a relief than she dared show that they weren't coming on the tour.

"Lady Aife and Mrs. Johansen are taking them to Nygård's." Bridgette chuckled. "Poor Lars."

"Ah, that's Anna's friend's family, is it not?" Anna said she met Gudrun on a visit to the Nygård spa. It had a good reputation as a place of healing and relaxation. The Nygårds were fortunate enough to have multiple hot springs on their property and had parlayed that into a full-service spa that drew customers from all over Arendelle. There was some talk of working to gain a presence in other countries, probably the reason the group was going.

"I believe so, Ma'am. No doubt the outing will satisfy the ladies while you and Her Highness are otherwise occupied."

Elsa blew out her breath. "It sounded like Anna won't be back until dark. I'll be sufficiently miserable after spending half the day with our guests, since I'm sure I'll be trying to keep their attention on Arendelle and not me. Perhaps I should take a trip to Nygård's myself."

Bridgette managed to her face impassive. Despite the open gates, the Queen very rarely left the castle. She'd never gone out for anything other than diplomatic necessity, such as tomorrow's tour. This was the first time she'd mentioned going out for personal reasons. "I have no doubts they'd be honored to have you visit, Your Majesty. I can make arrangements to clear a day if you'd like me to set something up."

"No, I was just thinking aloud. From what I've heard, it's usually very busy, and I wouldn't want to cause a stir. I'm not ready to be among that many people, anyway."

"They have more private options than the general pools, Ma'am. Some of the springs have come up in caves and several are small enough to be intimate." Bridgette cleared her throat. "Erik, from the gardens, took his bride there a few weeks ago and couldn't stop talking about it."

Elsa remembered that the spa was particularly popular as a honeymoon destination for those who couldn't afford an extended vacation. _I wonder if that's where Anna will want to go?_ The idea of Anna taking a honeymoon made her twitch, and she turned her thoughts quickly back to dinner.

Mister Johansen and his wife were charming, and Lord Aife's wife was so overly nice that even Anna started rolling her eyes. As Minister of the Economy, Lord Aife's presence was a given, but Elsa didn't care for him. He rubbed her the wrong way every time they were together. The only person she felt more uncomfortable around was Lord Fritzen, though the gap between the levels of dislike was wide.

Strangely, Lord Fritzen's attitude changed the moment they sat down to eat. His conversations were neutral, and he deferred to her so much she began to suspect he was plotting something. After what happened in the hall, she worried that plotting involved her relationship with Anna.

"Do you know why Lord Fritzen dislikes me so much?" Elsa faced Bridgette and frowned. "He made a hug between Anna and me sound like proof of an affair. I find that a rather large leap, and I wonder why he made it." If anyone could figure out the answer to that question, it was the woman standing in front of her.

"He said that?" Bridgette didn't know how to answer. Lord Fritzen's feelings toward the Queen and her sister were something she hesitated to get involved with. At the same time, she found an accusation of that nature too startling to ignore. "I'm certain he meant something else, Your Majesty."

Elsa narrowed her eyes. "His exact words were 'inappropriately close.' I don't find that open to many interpretations. Anyone else suggesting it would be escorted out of the castle and asked not to return. I'd have him escorted out if I could do it."

"From Her Highness simply hugging you?"

"Well … Anna mentioned something about stripping me, but it was clearly a joke." Elsa coughed. "Even that doesn't warrant his suggestion about our relationship."

It took Bridgette a few seconds to process the information. "Lord Fritzen is…" she searched for words appropriate to her station. "His enthusiasm to guide you properly is sometimes … excessive, Ma'am. He must have meant to prevent a misunderstanding in the future."

"Or simply because he dislikes me." Elsa crossed her arms. "He's always disliked me. I feel like he goes out of his way to find errors I make. Why?"

"I can't answer that, Ma'am. He keeps his motives close to his chest, but I can assure you he respects your authority—even if he seems overly zealous in his position."

With a sigh, Elsa walked away from the window and leaned against the settee, looking her handmaiden squarely in the face. "Do you think our relationship seems inappropriate?" She wasn't certain she wanted an answer, but she needed one. If she could keep her secret from Bridgette, she could keep it from anyone. If Bridgette suspected….

The older woman met her gaze evenly. "No, Your Majesty. Her Highness can be overly exuberant, but it would take—as you say—a large leap to consider you more than close sisters." The pair were unusually affectionate in public for a monarch and sibling but Bridgette hardly thought it was inappropriate. _Leave it to him to stir things up when he shouldn't._

Queen Iduna was able to keep her cousin in check, but since her death, Lord Fritzen had become a real bother. Bridgette's unusual position in the household allowed her more freedom in dealing with the nobility, but she _was_ still a servant. She couldn't confront him the way her former mistress did, and there was no one else who could—other than Queen Elsa, who was terrified of him.

"Good." Elsa straightened. "I wouldn't want someone to get the wrong impression about something like that. I think it would prove a very hard rumor to squash." If anyone did notice that her feelings were more than affectionate, she hoped she would appear insulted with some credibility.

"Indeed." Bridgette folded her hands in front of her. "Do you require anything further of me?"

Elsa shook her head. Just like Anna, she'd learned to work the castle's plumbing at a young age, so she didn't need help drawing a bath. "Thank you, Bridgette. I'll see you in the morning."

Once Bridgette had gone, Elsa looked at the clock. Nine minutes. It would be the longest nine minutes of her life. "Ridiculous; I don't have to wait around here until exactly nine. Anna's probably already there bouncing on the furniture, anyway."

With a final check in the mirror to make sure nothing needed fixing—even if it was pointless, she wanted to look her best for Anna—she walked out the door and started down the hall. It may be tense at first, but she would do all she could regain the relationship with her sister she should have. She would just have to find the strength to hide what relationship she really wanted.

* * *

 **After Notes:** I apologize for the original chapter being so ridiculously long. In the future, I will do my best to keep chapters under 6000 words or so. For anyone curious, leverpostel is a Norwegian version of Braunschweiger sausage. I used it to avoid using a real place name in the story.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author Notes:** This story contains themes that may make some readers uncomfortable. If femslash or the thought of two consenting adults engaging in a relationship that is considered taboo in the real world offends you, then this story is not for you. I welcome reviews and critiques, but the world already has enough hate, so please keep your flames to yourself. There are many other wonderful stories on this site, and I won't be offended if you choose one of them instead. _Standard Disclaimer:_ I don't make claims on any Disney trademarks/copyrights and mean no infringement on them or anybody else.

 **Special Note: The original chapter 6 was too long, so I split it into three shorter chapters. I got a little too laser targeted on getting it done before surgery and didn't pay attention to the length. This chapter is the tea scene from the original.**

 **Chapter 7.**

At eight to nine, Anna gave up. She couldn't wait another second; knowing she would soon be sitting with Elsa, eating chocolate and having tea, was more than she could stand. Smoothing her dress, she dashed out the door intent on surprising Elsa when she arrived later.

She wasn't expecting anyone else to be in the hall, so she only had a moment to be startled before she collided with her sister. Elsa made a noise and stepped away quickly.

"Oh, wow! I'm really sorry, Elsa. I didn't expect you—wait, why aren't you still in your room?" Anna blinked several times.

Elsa raised an eyebrow at her. "Why aren't you?"

"Um…." Anna blushed. "I couldn't wait anymore. I'm really looking forward to this and I didn't want to miss a minute, and staring at the wall in my room was getting a little frustrating, so—"

"And you don't suppose I might feel the same?" Elsa realized she sounded sharp and smiled. Anna was very cute when she blushed, but making her feel she'd done something wrong wouldn't set the right tone for their tea. "I've been trying to read for an hour, and I couldn't look at the same two pages another time without screaming."

Cocking her head, Anna studied her curiously. Elsa rarely admitted to emotions such as impatience. "Why didn't you come get me?"

"Because I said nine and the kitchen wouldn't be ready any earlier."

Snickering, Anna shook her head. "You can be maddeningly precise, did you know that?" She spoke in a reasonable imitation of her sister's voice.

Elsa gave her a dirty look. Inside, she giggled as well, but she didn't want her sister to realize that. "And you can be maddeningly tardy." She smirked. "Early to dinner and early to tea; are you not feeling well?"

"Elsa, that's mean! I wanted to be early so I could spend time with you." She was almost certain Elsa was teasing her, but she protested anyway.

"I'm glad." Elsa swallowed and looked away. "I was worried you were done with me after the way I've been acting."

This admission was even more startling than the first, and Anna didn't know how to react. Elsa glanced at her and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear before smiling tentatively. Anna almost melted. Her sister could be so commanding and then turn around and appear so vulnerable that it made her heart beat erratically. She wanted to gather her up and hold her forever.

"You'll never get rid of me!" She grinned and started to link arms with her sister. At the last moment, she realized Elsa might not like that and pulled away.

Elsa studied her. She'd seen the expression cross Anna's face a few moments earlier and wondered what it meant. It wasn't the first time her sister gazed at her with a … an indefinable wanting. She wasn't worrying about physical contact, though that was there too, but something deeper that even Anna might not know about herself.

She'd love to find out that wanting involved her in a way beyond sisters, but she knew better. More likely, Anna just wasn't sure how to act around her. With a soft sigh, she smiled again. "I'm glad. Shall we?" She gestured down the hall, and the two started walking.

Anna couldn't help skipping along, unable to contain her happiness at finally being in the same room as her sister without a dozen other people all vying for the Queen's attention as well. She was skipping slowly, trying to keep with Elsa's more stately pace, but skipping nonetheless.

Elsa, casting glances at her sister bouncing along beside her, wondered if she'd last the entire hour without making some excuse to leave. Being near Anna was certainly not as difficult as she thought, but her heart was still thudding and she feared her sister would guess why.

They reached the parlor, and Anna looked somewhat confused when Elsa took the chair closest to the fireplace. In a voice that betrayed her feelings, she said, "Aren't we sitting on the couch like we always do?"

"No."

The moment Anna passed her in the doorway Elsa recognized the danger in sitting side-by-side. She wouldn't survive Anna leaning against her and stroking her arm. That much contact would kill her. The chair wasn't very comfortable, but there was no way for Anna to join her unless she sat on Elsa's lap. That thought sent a slight shiver through her and she fought to keep her face impassive.

"You can take all the room you want tonight, so stretch out, put your feet on the arm like Bridgette is always telling you not to, and relax."

"I'd rather have you." Anna pouted; it usually worked, but this time Elsa's flat expression never wavered. Finally, she sighed and flopped down into the cushions. "Fine."

Elsa hoped the kitchen was ready; she didn't want to spend fifteen minutes with Anna having nothing to distract her from the questions she was certain to ask. They were questions she was determined to answer, but not until she had tea and some chocolate.

She'd pulled the cord when they entered the parlor, and with luck, they would have everything already prepared. "Thank you for your help at dinner." With a wry smile, she added, "I guess you've been paying more attention to your etiquette lessons than everyone thought."

"I'll always do my best for you, Elsa—and for Arendelle, of course." Anna was pleased to get confirmation she'd done well at the meal. A compliment right away boded well for the upcoming hour. "And I do know how to act properly, you know."

With a chuckle, Elsa leaned back, attempting to relax. In her nervousness, she'd picked the one chair in the room that she hated and she couldn't get up and move now; Anna would pout more if it wasn't to sit next to her.

"It showed." She tried once more to get comfortable. "I will expect better reports from Mrs. Iverson, though."

Anna groaned. "Oh, come on, Elsa! That woman is the most boring person I've ever met."

"You must be prepared to assume the throne at any time, Anna. I know you don't like to think about that, but you _are_ the next in line."

"Please tell me that's not what we're going to talk about for the next hour." Anna prayed it wasn't. The one thing she despised thinking about most was the possibility something could happen to her sister before they were both old and gray.

Too late, Elsa remembered that Anna hated being reminded she was now the Crown Princess. It wasn't a subject she particularly wanted to discuss over tea either, and she sighed heavily. "No, of course not. I was only mentioning it. I'm sorry, I didn't think."

"O-ok." Anna didn't know what to say next, so she just smiled and started bouncing a leg. The short silence was broken when a maid brought in the tea and she perked up at the array of sweets on the cart. She glanced up and found Elsa smiling at her gently, opened her mouth to say something and then closed it again and shifted uncomfortably.

For some reason, Elsa's smile made her heart pound. She wanted to put it down to fear she'd done something wrong, but it wasn't that at all. It was the love in her sister's deep blue eyes, now enveloping her like a warm mist, which made her throat dry. _I didn't realize how much I missed her smile._ Even though she missed it, having it aimed at her so intensely made her a little nervous.

Elsa watched the expressions sort across her sister's face, and the fidgeting as she tried to act like nothing was wrong. She couldn't seem to look away, even as she realized her gaze was making Anna squirm. After what felt like far too long, the maid finished setting out the tea and sweets, and Elsa dismissed her with a calm voice she hoped would keep Anna from feeling she was going to be lectured or chastised after all.

"I hope the kitchen sent up the right things. I told Bridgette what to have them prepare."

"Oh! Ah…." Anna jumped. She'd been so busy trying to understand why Elsa's soft smile was making her sweat, she hadn't even noticed they were now alone. A glance at the table brought a huge grin and eliminated her discomfort almost instantly. "Wow, you went all out, didn't you? _Five_ kinds of truffles? And … wait, are those lemon meringue tarts?"

Elsa nodded, her smile changing into something more neutral, though not dimming at all. "Yes."

"The kitchen is out of them! How did you…?"

With a slight smirk, Elsa replied, "Being Queen has its advantages." _Or rather, Bridgette can work miracles. I suspect no one will have lemons for tea tomorrow, though._

"You … you're…." Anna didn't quite know what so say. "You really did that?"

"Yes, I did. I hoped a surprise might make you smile." Elsa sighed. "Freya knows I've done the opposite enough lately." The joy on her sister's face made her want to laugh and cry at the same time. That she had found no other option but to avoid those expressions altogether made the latter more likely, and she quickly looked away.

"Elsa?" Anna glimpsed tears welling up in her sister's eyes as she physically turned and looked in a different direction. "Are you crying?"

"No." Elsa pulled her emotions back inside and forced herself to face Anna again. "I just … missed you." Her only chance of surviving the next hour lay in telling simple truths and avoiding a deep discussion. Though it would be difficult, especially if Anna started to obsess about a question like she sometimes did, it had to be done.

Anna blinked a few times. The answer surprised her, and she felt bad for considering it might be a lie. "I missed you, too, Elsa. What did I do—"

Elsa quickly reached for a plate and held it out in front of her. "Eat first." She tried to sound calm. "Or I might not leave you any tarts."

"I told you I'd wrestle you for the last one." Anna recognized the attempt to distract her with food, but let her do it. With a sigh, she turned to the selection of desserts and piled her plate in a manner that most princesses would never consider appropriate. Maybe if she asked without looking at her sister, she might get an answer. "Why have you been so hard to find, lately?"

"I've had a great deal of work with these meetings," Elsa responded, again trying to present partial truths as fact. "And … I've just been having a hard time, that's all."

Anna spoke around a mouthful of chocolate cake. "You know you can talk to me about anything, don't you?" It didn't come out as intelligibly as she expected, but she was fairly certain Elsa understood her.

Picking up her tea, Elsa leaned back and drew in a long breath. "Yes, I know. Unfortunately, Anna, there are some things I just have to deal with on my own."

"Is it anything I've done?"

"No. Not at all." Elsa didn't need to force the smile. "You are beautiful and perfect in almost every way." A second later she realized how that might sound and blushed.

Confused by both the compliment and the sudden reddening of her sister's face, Anna took another bite of cake and considered how to respond. Elsa obviously wasn't completely comfortable, and the way she kept meeting Anna's eyes and then quickly looking away baffled her.

"Well … then…." Anna drew in her breath. "I know you're busy, and I can see why these meetings are so important, but…." She trailed off, unable to force the words out. Elsa looked at her as though she dreaded the question. "Never mind."

She wanted to know why Elsa suddenly pulled away, wanted to desperately, but at the same time she didn't want to upset the attempt her sister was making to bridge the gap. She'd just have to wait a little longer until Elsa relaxed more. Confused, she took a slightly too large sip of tea and sputtered as it burned her tongue.

Elsa watched the emotions flashing across Anna's face, leading to her not-uncommon mistake of consuming hot things without caution. Anna jumped and made noises, fanning her tongue and looking embarrassed. Elsa failed to contain her giggles, bringing her hand up to hide her mouth as she always did.

"Ith nah hunny!" Anna was annoyed at her sister's amusement, though it also signaled an opening in Elsa's stoic demeanor. "Fyeeth my hongue or humhing."

Laughing harder, Elsa reached out and wiggled her fingers; a small ball of ice appeared beside Anna's teacup, and her sister scooped it up, shoving it into her mouth as quickly as she could. A look of relief spread across her face, and she relaxed back into the cushions.

Anna gratefully sucked on the ice, though annoyed at the laughing. It took a minute for the pain to subside, and by then all was forgiven. "That really hurt."

"I can imagine." Picking up her own tea again, Elsa studied her over the rim. "I'd think you would remember not to do that." Anna glared at her and she chuckled. It felt good, after so long, to laugh at something silly. She moved her hand slightly. "Your tea should be drinkable now, by the way."

Her sister's laughter drove away Anna's irritation. "I've missed that," she murmured. When Elsa fell silent, she looked up and found the blonde's face pink with apparent embarrassment. "Oh. I said that out loud, didn't I?"

Elsa nodded. "I'm sorry; watching you is just so relaxing I can't help myself. I promise I won't laugh at you again." She knew Anna felt ignored and laughing at her clumsiness wasn't a good way to warm things up.

"If it'll make you smile, I don't care." Anna couldn't tear her gaze away from her sister's face; tension still showed, but the corners of the Queen's mouth twitched upward. "I've really missed you, Elsa."

"I know; I can't make up for it, but I'll do my best to stop being so awful to you." Elsa blushed harder and averted her gaze.

Anna sighed. "I wish you'd tell me what I did to make you start avoiding me."

Closing her eyes, Elsa forced away the snow that always followed her guilt. "It's complicated." She didn't dare try to explain further. "I told you it wasn't your fault, and it wasn't."

"Is it because of Kristoff?" Elsa's head jerked up and her eyes flew open. _Bingo. Astrid was right._ Coughing, Anna spoke again. "Someone suggested that … you were jealous of him."

"But … I … He … Who told you that?" Elsa was at a loss for words; Anna clearly knew of at least one reason for her distance, and she feared it wasn't the only one.

"It doesn't matter. It's true, isn't it?"

Elsa's mouth moved silently for a few seconds. _Who told her? What else did they say?_ "Yes. But … I have no right to be, and I'm sorry about it."

Anna bounced both legs nervously this time. _Should I tell her about this afternoon? What if she gets mad at Kristoff for kissing me … and we did it in public, too? What if she tells me I'm an idiot?_ She decided to avoid the issue, too worried it would ruin the evening.

"I know I was spending a lot of time with him." She glanced away. "At first, you had too much work to do, and I was bored sitting around the castle. He offered to take me exploring, and I got obsessed with it, I guess."

"And you fell in love with him." Elsa sighed heavily. "I'm jealous, but I understand why you're with him so much. I'm still new at dealing with people and I overreacted. It's no excuse but—"

"Why didn't you just say something?" Anna drew her eyebrows together. "We promised to be open with each other, remember?"

Elsa did; they made the promise after that bastard Hans was out of Arendelle, safely locked up in the brig of a southbound ship. Elsa swore to tell her sister if something made her unhappy, scared, worried—she'd broken that promise a hundred times over, and it pained her to admit it. "We did. I didn't want to interfere in your relationship, that's all."

"Um, that was kinda the point of the agreement, Elsa. I wanted you to feel comfortable doing that if you needed to—for any reason."

The original idea came out of Elsa's worry that Anna might fall in love with whoever suggested they loved her and Anna's worry that Elsa might be overwhelmed by suddenly being required to deal with so many people. They'd promised to keep communication about those things open no matter what.

She dropped her head. "I'm sorry." That promise can't cover admitting this.

"Stop saying you're sorry!" Anna jumped up and started pacing, not annoyed enough to pass by the table without selecting something else to eat. "If that's the reason you started ignoring me, I'm pretty angry. All you had to say was that you wanted to spend more time with me. That's all it would've taken, Elsa—you opening your mouth and saying something."

"Anna, please." Elsa started to panic. "I know that's what I should've done—I get that. I tried to work it out on my own and I failed."

With a growl, Anna grabbed another truffle. "You damn sure did! And what happened? Exactly what we were trying to avoid. You hiding in your room and ignoring me. All of this because you broke our promise."

Elsa felt the cold starting to run through her body and bit her lip. "That's not the only reason. I wouldn't have pulled away over something like that." Only after Anna stopped and stared at her did she realize what she'd said. _Shit!_

For several long seconds, Anna stared at her sister. "Then why did you?"

"Well, there's so much paperwork and meetings with the Council and diplomats, I … had my priorities wrong." Yet another truth that had little to do with her real reasons.

"Stop avoiding the question!" Anna could tell her sister was trying to get out of answering and it made her angry. "You kissed my forehead goodnight and then refused to speak to me the next morning. You've avoided me ever since. Maybe all that did stress you out, but it's no reason for what you're doing to me. To _me_ , Elsa. You're avoiding _me_. Why?"

A few flakes swirled around Elsa's head and the room temperature dropped. She pulled them back inside and tried to come up with some other excuse. "Anna … that's … well, I told you I was having a hard time, and…." She looked away and turned red. The flurries started again.

 _Cold and snow. I've seen a lot of that lately. Is it because she's doing too much? Or—_ Anna frowned. "Your powers." Elsa dropped her head. "It's because of your powers, isn't it?" _Of course! Why didn't I realize sooner? It's the only thing that makes sense. She's trying to protect me._

Elsa debated claiming that to be the reason, not wanting her sister to insist on helping her with something she would only make worse. Lying wasn't in her nature, though, and she searched for some way to deflect the question without a direct answer.

Watching the emotions sort across her sister's face, Anna wondered why Elsa didn't just come out and say yes or no. _She can't possibly be embarrassed. Is there something else she's hiding? What could that possibly be? Just how bad is it—?_

"If you're worried about me, don't be," Anna said earnestly. "I'm not afraid of you, and I never will be. You don't have to go this thing alone. I'll help you, Elsa. Just ask and I'll do it. I'll do anything—"

"You've seen what's happened outside my chambers. You can't help with what happens inside—" Elsa gritted her teeth. "You have no idea how dangerous it would be." That much was very true, and she let her sister assume that was the reason. Worrying about Anna _was_ part of why she was having so much trouble with her powers. If her sister were around when she seriously slipped it could end horribly.

Anna blinked a few times. "Dangerous? Compared to freezing my heart, I'm not sure anything you do is dangerous."

"That could happen again!" Elsa leaped up and hugged herself. The idea of hurting Anna that badly, only because she was trying to keep from revealing her true feelings, terrified her. "I won't risk harming you, Anna. Never again; I've hurt you too many times already."

"Um … well … I suppose killing me _was_ pretty extreme…" Anna fully processed her sister's statement. "Ok, it was a huge accident, but it was an accident, and you had no control when it happened. One time, Elsa. I know you won't do it again." _Too many times?_ Anna had a flash of snow and falling, the image vanishing when she tried to grab it. "It _was_ only once, right?"

Elsa gasped and froze in place. The swirl was heavier this time. "Only…?" _What do I say? If I tell her, she really will hate me._ She turned away, hugging herself tighter. "It's too dangerous. You may be able to shrug it off, but I can't. I _killed_ you, Anna, and I won't risk doing it again. It's worse than you think." Her voice trembled with fear, any thought of discussing their childhood gone under the memories of what happened so recently—what could happen again. "It's worse than everyone thinks."

"What happened? Did something happen that night? I know you have nightmares; you could've gotten me up. I'd do whatever I could—and at least I'd have a reason." Anna wanted to hug her sister but suspected it would not go well. She bit her lip. Elsa was drawing away from her; things were going very wrong, very quickly.

The second question brought a crushing sense of guilt and Elsa turned further away. "Something happened. You couldn't—can't help me with this. I wish you could." _Oh, how I wish you could._ "I'll be honest, Anna; I was afraid that if I told you how much my powers were slipping, other people would find out. Not that you'd do it on purpose! You just … sometimes say things you don't realize you're saying." The statement was the closest truth yet. She did fear Anna letting something slip. Tears welled up, a few running down her cheeks. _I've told her now. If she does accidentally—I could lose everything. Maybe I deserve to._

After an even longer silence, Anna sighed. Despite being hurt by the comment, it was true. She wasn't politically savvy by any means, but she knew a rumor about the Ice Queen struggling with her powers would be disastrous. Moreover, when it came to Elsa's magic, she had to accept she really couldn't help.

Her sister's admission explained so many things that it had to be true. Even though Elsa was avoiding her, Anna still caught her sister looking at her with an expression that was clearly longing. She'd seen Elsa look at her with such love and affection—even though she'd turn instantly and leave. _The door all over again; she's locking herself up in another box. I can't let that happen—I_ _ **won't**_ _let that happen. I love her too much…._

Elsa didn't want to see her sister's anger. Anna's lack of a self-censor was a sore subject, and since she was already irritated… She didn't expect the hand that touched her shoulder and jumped, drawing a startled breath.

Sensing she couldn't keep being confrontational without Elsa leaving, Anna squeezed her sister's shoulder gently. "Hey. You're talking to me now, so everything's fine, right? Even though I wish I could be there for you when it comes to your powers, I realize I can't be. It frustrates me so much knowing there's nobody who can do that." _I bet Grand Pabbie could—but I'm not lighting that match._

"Thank you." Elsa sniffled a few times and wiped her eyes. Turning to face her sister, she smiled genuinely. "I have missed you, more than I can express, Anna. Things are still … difficult … but I will do my best to not exclude you anymore."

Hesitantly, Anna bit her lip and looked at her sister. If she was going to ask about Elsa's expression at dinner, now was the time.

"Um, can I ask one more question?"

Elsa raised an eyebrow. "Of course, you can. I won't guarantee I can answer it, though."

Anna shifted nervously. "Earlier, before dinner; you looked strange coming into the sitting room. Like you were hurt or something. Are you? You haven't hurt yourself have you?"

Eyes widening in panic, Elsa started to tremble. _Keep it inside. Conceal. Conceal._ "I … was just still annoyed with Lord Fritzen, that's all."

Anna pursed her lips. "I'd understand if you were still mad at Kristoff, too. He was a dunderhead the whole conversation, and you did come in at the worst possible time. The marriage thing was a complete misunderstanding, and he only made it worse."

Elsa realized her sister assumed that if she wasn't hurt she was angry. _So she didn't notice anything about me before._ She sighed in relief. "Wait. A misunderstanding?"

 _Aw, crap._ "Um, yeah. What you overheard had nothing to do with really getting married." Anna fidgeted and cleared her throat. _Should I tell her or not?_ "I mean, I know there's lots of reasons we _shouldn't_ get married, like him being, well … not royalty." Elsa raised an eyebrow, and she blushed. "I'm not stupid, Elsa. We're both going be inundated with courting letters in a while and the Council will push hard for me to accept one instead of marrying … him."

"It's already started," Elsa replied quietly. "And yes, that is a barrier. If you're truly in love—and it's hard to deny you aren't—I will do everything within my power to make it happen, I promise." _Even if it breaks me._

"Oh. Um." Anna cocked her head, suddenly alert. "Wait, what? What do you mean, it's already started? Have you gotten letters? Are any of them people we've met? Wouldn't it be romantic if you married someone from the coronation? Well, ok, maybe that wouldn't be romantic … actually, it's kinda creepy, now that I think about it. Since I tried to marry that bastard Hans and all. Oh! But I met Kristoff because of it! So maybe there's someone—"

"Anna." Elsa's voice was quiet but commanding. Anna stopped at looked at her sheepishly. "There have been letters but I am _not_ interested, and I've rejected those pertaining to you so that there would be no distraction in your relationship."

She'd insisted that no letters be considered for either of them until at least after her birthday, three months away now. It was a temporary solution, but it gave her time to find something more permanent.

Anna screwed up her face in confusion. "You did that for me—for Kristoff and me? I thought you didn't like him." _Ugh, I just made it sound like I really do want to marry him._

Elsa slipped past her and took her seat again. She needed a few moments to compose herself before a discussion about Kristoff happened. Thus far, she hadn't been overly uncomfortable in Anna's presence, even during the slight confrontation that just occurred, but now she felt the tug of anxiety at the thought of having to pretend that she approved of their relationship.

"He is not the man I would pick for you,"— _If I had to pick one_ —"but I don't particularly dislike him." She had to be honest, even if with the least revealing truths she could muster. "He's not very smart, though. And the reindeer thing is troubling. Still, he adores you and I am certain he would never hurt you."

Blushing, Anna sat back down and picked up her plate again. A tart was calling her, and she didn't want to neglect it. "Wow. That's … brutally honest." She poured more tea, blowing on the surface before sipping it this time. "He's actually very smart, you know. It's not easy doing all that calculating up at the lakes, knowing how to get those blocks of ice out without falling in, and then he handles his own books, so he knows how to add. He can even read. I think the thing with Sven is kinda cute, too." _I may not be in love with him, but he's not an idiot._

"I said it before, Anna, as long as you're happy, I will accept whoever you choose." Elsa smirked slightly. "As long as you don't try to get engaged an hour after you meet." She couldn't resist teasing her sister, now that enough time had passed for her to let go of her initial anger. She may dislike Kristoff, but nothing about him was spur of the moment. He was methodical and reliable, two more things she had to admit her sister would benefit from. "Or start singing about sandwiches."

"You heard us singing?"

Elsa's smirk bordered on evil. "It was very loud. And don't go climbing the clock tower at night anymore either!"

Anna stared at her sister for several seconds before realizing she was joking. She burst into laughter, rewarded for it with a huge grin from the Queen. "I love you so much, Elsa," she giggled and leaned back against the side of the settee.

Elsa went white. _She didn't mean it that way. She didn't mean it like that at all. Calm down, Elsa. Keep it inside._ In a voice less even than she wanted, she choked out, "I love you too, Anna."

Her sister's expression confused Anna greatly. She clearly meant it, but something about her face suggested that it pained her to say the words aloud. The same ache as at dinner appeared then vanished and Elsa averted her gaze, starting to color.

"Elsa?" _What is she_ _ **really**_ _jealous about?_

"Do you have anything special planned for tomorrow?" Forcing herself to calm down, Elsa looked back at her sister with a wan smile. "Kristoff seemed very excited about it."

"Oh. Um … Yeah, he really was. I know he didn't seem like it, but he really, really was grateful to get the sleigh. Honestly, I think you confused him a little with the title, though." Anna shrugged. "Either way, he can't wait to show his family." _I just wish he wanted to do it without me. I still can't believe I said yes._

Elsa bit her lip and reminded herself that she was the only one who remembered what happened in the valley thirteen years ago. "Well, I'm glad he's happy." After a pause, she continued with more strength, "A new sleigh is hardly payment enough for everything he's done for us."

The comment took Anna off-guard, especially the earnest way Elsa spoke, and it took a moment to formulate a response. "Well, it makes him happy to see us together, after everything that's happened." She tried to sound light when she continued, "He's really big into family, in his own way."

"I suppose he's looking forward to starting one, then." Elsa couldn't quite keep her words steady now. As true as they likely were, it felt like stabbing herself in the gut to say them. To her surprise, Anna turned red and looked away.

"I … suppose that's true." Anna hoped she didn't look as flustered as she felt. "We haven't discussed it. I mean … I don't really want to start a family—at least not yet! I'm not sure he does, either, but like I said, we haven't talked about it, so I can't say. Do you want to start a family? I think you'd make—wait, what? Um … I'm sorry, my mouth ran away with me. Of course, you don't want to start a family right now. You said you weren't interested in those letters, so duh, obviously you aren't." _Shut up, Anna, before you ruin things._

Drawing in a careful breath, Elsa shifted and looked curiously at her sister. It wasn't surprising Anna would deny her own interest in children, but it was startling how vehemently she did it. With Anna, babbling meant the same as insistence, and she was confused why the subject raised that level of response.

"A family might be out of reach for me." She finally decided to answer the second half of the outburst and leave the first untouched. "I can't say I'd want to pass this … thing … on to a child."

"It's not a thing!" Anna stared at her. Elsa had many words for her powers, but she'd never suggested she felt negatively about them. Frustrated at times, but never as though she wished she didn't have them. "Your magic … it's a part of you and an amazing part. Look at that castle—you left Kristoff speechless, and it really is incredibly beautiful."

Not wanting to get into a discussion on the subject, and cursing herself for bringing it up, Elsa merely smiled wanly and shrugged. "I'm glad you think so." Casting around for some way to change the subject, her gaze finally settled on the table of sweets. "You've demolished the cake, I see. I didn't get a piece, either. That means I get the last tart."

Anna stared at her, even more confused at the way her sister rapidly moved the discussion away from her powers. "You didn't get any? Wow, I'm sorry. It was just so good. Hey! That doesn't give you tart rights!" She swatted at Elsa's hand when the blonde reached for her plate.

Elsa smirked and made a show of taking the small tart from the cart. She held her plate out in front of her. "What are you going to do to stop me?" A second later, she realized that her attempt at teasing left an opening for her sister to threaten her with—

"I'll wrestle you!" Anna leaned forward and tried to grab the plate, almost falling on her face when Elsa pulled it away. "Come on, Elsa, that one is supposed to be mine."

"You were keeping track?" Elsa couldn't help chuckling. She was surprised at how easily she slipped back into her old way of interacting with her sister, and it felt good. "Doesn't the Queen decide who such a thing belongs to?"

Anna blew out her cheeks and exhaled sharply before growling. "That doesn't apply to sweets, and you know it. Don't be mean!"

Biting her lip to keep from laughing aloud, Elsa assumed a regal voice. "This is punishment for threatening to strip the Queen of Arendelle in front of Lord Fritzen." For a second, she thought her sister was about to launch herself across the tea table. "And we are not wrestling for it, either."

Sitting back, Anna—who _had_ been considering a physical assault, though only for tickling and only fleetingly—crossed her arms. "Fine. Take it then. Don't expect to get any sausage at breakfast, though."

For a long moment, the sisters stared at each other. Elsa cracked first, starting to giggle behind her free hand. After a few seconds, Anna couldn't maintain her insulted front either, and dissolved into laughter. The two laughed for several minutes, each trying to speak once or twice only to lapse back into their mirth.

"Here." Elsa finally regained enough control to hand the plate to Anna. "I was just teasing."

"Brat." Anna took the plate quickly, in case her sister tried to pull it away again. She took a bite to fully claim her prize and grinned. "Victory is tasty."

Elsa rolled her eyes. "Who's the brat?" She sobered slightly. "Anna … I _am_ sorry for how I've treated you. It was horrible of me and I know it. Seeing you laugh is … the best thing I've seen all week."

"You've got a lot on your plate," Anna replied softly, before grinning again. "Though the last tart isn't."

"If it makes you smile, you can have the last tart for the rest of our lives." Glancing away, Elsa sighed. "Will you forgive me, please?"

With her mouth full of lemon meringue, Anna couldn't answer so she nodded vigorously instead. After enjoying the taste of the sweet—a conversation with her sister wasn't enough to make her rush through it—she grinned. "Yes, Elsa, I forgive you. Part of it is my fault, anyway. I promise to spend more time with you if you will with me. Is that an acceptable agreement?"

Elsa drew herself up. "A quite equitable arrangement, Your Highness." She dissolved into laughter. _It feels so good to smile again. What was I thinking—how could ignoring Anna make me feel less alone?_ "Thank you, Anna."

"What for? Not for forgiving you, right? 'Cause that was a given."

"No, for being Anna, the rambunctious, silly, adorable little sister I fell in love with." Elsa turned bright red and gasped. _That didn't come out right. Freya, please let her ignore it._

It seemed Anna didn't notice the flaming of her sister's face or the awkward choice of words. "I'll always be your little sister, and I'll always be here for you. No matter what you're going through, I'm here if you need me."

"I know." She met her sister's gaze steadily. "I hope I can always be there for you."

"No more pulling away? No more breaking our promise?"

"No more of either." Elsa moved to pick up her tea. It was cold, so she topped it off, and her sister's, when Anna took a sip of hers and made a face. "Now, tell me everything I've missed."

She still didn't want to hear about how wonderful Kristoff was, but she realized that pain was far less than the pain she'd been in by avoiding Anna altogether. So, she put on a smile and listened to her sister's adventures.

Finally, the tea was gone and Anna couldn't eat another chocolate without getting ill. Even so, she was loath to end what had turned into a wonderful reunion. Elsa was obviously tired, though, and suggested they call it a night.

Elsa, also wishing their meeting could go longer but as tired Anna suspected, agreed. They reached the doorway together, and she hesitated a moment before quickly hugging her sister. "I suppose we should both get some sleep."

"Mmm." Anna relished the feeling of her sister's arms around her. Elsa felt so warm and soft that she pouted a bit when the hug ended so soon. "I guess it's good night then."

"Good night." Elsa smiled, much more easily. Pulling away and avoiding her sister had only made things harder for her. Being with Anna was difficult, but it also lifted a heavy weight from her shoulders.

Anna smiled back and stood on her toes to give Elsa a kiss on the cheek to reaffirm she wasn't going anywhere. Somewhere between the decision and making contact, though, she moved enough that instead of cheek, she found Elsa's mouth. She should have pulled away immediately; instead, she pressed a little harder, so that what she originally meant as a mere brush turned into a brief—but very real—kiss.

The resulting shock that coursed through her took her breath away. Elsa's lips were as soft as she'd imagined they'd be, and felt so good against her own that several seconds passed before some semblance of reason returned. She stumbled backward, colliding with the doorjamb hard enough to make her gasp. Her lips ached at the loss of contact and something within her yearned to do it again—to kiss her sister the way she'd kissed Kristoff, to find out what it felt like to kiss even more deeply than that.

 _Wait, what?_ Her _sister_? Anna realized what she'd just done and fear and embarrassment erased the pleasure she felt moments before. She looked at Elsa, who was white, and felt the sudden plummet in temperature. "Elsa … I'm … I'm sorry! I didn't mean to … not there."

Elsa only stared at her, feeling the physical expression of thoughts too wild to coalesce into anything resembling coherence. Her heart threatened to tear through her chest; she clutched the dress over it and pressed hard against her ribcage to keep it in place. Anna's face was bright red, her shock obvious, but Elsa still couldn't speak.

 _She kissed me! Anna just kissed me!_ Rationally, she recognized it meant nothing beyond good night, and Anna clearly didn't mean to do it where she did. However, the part of her that yearned for just such a thing ran wild with images she forced down as hard as she could; the surrounding flurries intensified. Still, she couldn't speak, couldn't move, couldn't do anything but stare and try to control the cold and snow.

Terrified that she had undone everything gained in the last hour, Anna stared back, her lower lip trembling as she fought tears. She watched the veil of distance drop over Elsa's face, erasing the easy smile she'd worn only moments earlier. _Why? Why did I do something so stupid?_

Finally, she started to cry. "I'm so sorry. Please, don't…."

Elsa closed her eyes. Everything within her wanted to run. Everything screamed at her to push Anna away again. _"Don't shut me out, Elsa. Please, open the door. Please."_ Memories of hearing Anna's pleading words over and over for thirteen years pounded in her head. She couldn't—wouldn't—break the promise they'd just made. She wouldn't hurt Anna again, ever. No matter what it took.

Summoning up her will, she sent the storm back to the mountains she had called it from. Still unable to speak, she wrapped her arms around her sister and pulled her close. A few tears filled her eyes, and she gently pressed her lips to the top of Anna's head.

"It's ok," she finally whispered. "Anna, it's fine. It was just good night, wasn't it?"

"Yes. But your face … I don't know why I did it, but … please don't hate me." Anna somehow knew that Elsa was deeply unhappy about being kissed, even if only for a few seconds.

Elsa drew in her breath and forced it back out. "It surprised me, that's all. Women don't usually…. I think we're making too big of a fuss about it, though." Anna could never find out just how deeply that momentary touch affected her. "It was an accident."

"Are you sure? I don't want you to go away again."

Placing another kiss into Anna's hair, Elsa felt the tension ease from her sister's body. "I told you I would never shut you out again. I've been distant—and I'm sorry for hurting you, but I've never stopped thinking about you. Nothing you did … you've done nothing wrong, Anna. Please believe that. Nothing. I'd rather you hate me than think it was your fault."

Anna pulled herself together and leaned back to look into Elsa's face, surprised at the intensity in her sister's words. The Queen wore a strange expression, part love, and part … fear? Anna didn't understand why her sister would be afraid, though she was afraid of what she'd done herself. She didn't understand that either, but if Elsa forgave her, she wouldn't ask.

"I wish you would talk to me more often." She wiped her face to clear the last of her tears. "I'm not as smart as you, but I'll listen to anything you're worried about."

Elsa smiled again, though less easily than before. "I'll take you up on that sometime. For now, it's getting late and we both have an early morning."

Nodding, Anna stepped out of her sister's embrace, though somewhat unwillingly. "Then, I guess good night."

"Good night." Elsa leaned against the doorframe and watched her sister scurry down the hall to her room. Once she was alone, she pulled the cord to alert the kitchen they were finished. After hesitating, she moved to the table and took the remaining truffles, piling her plate the way Anna usually did. _If they expected leftovers, they're in for a surprise. We ate a lot even for us._

The walk to her own chambers was slower than Anna's had been. There was so much on her mind she walked past the door. Shaking her head, she turned back and went into the sitting room. Chocolate wasn't much of a salve for her confused emotions, but it was all she had. It was better than accidentally damaging something. The previous hour took more out of her than she thought; the moment she was safely in her rooms she almost collapsed.

 _Well, that was exhausting._ She made her way to the writing desk and half-sat on it, putting the plate down beside her. She was pleased she'd lasted the entire hour, though it wasn't as hard as she'd feared; at least, not until the end. It was clear at first that Anna was worried about upsetting her and walking on eggshells with the conversation. Once she relaxed, though … _she was really angry with me._

Anna had every right to be angry. In some ways, Elsa was glad to see it; she often thought her sister needed to get angry instead of stuffing her feelings away somewhere and acting like everything was fine. At the same time, the anger was sharper than she'd hoped, especially when Anna started to think Kristoff was the reason for Elsa's withdrawal from her.

"She must really love him," she murmured, reaching for a chocolate. "And I just fed it." There was nothing else to do; she wasn't going to tell Anna how she felt, and she had no other reasonable excuse for trying to get rid of the ice cutter.

After everything, Elsa couldn't decide if the night was a success or a failure. The physical distance between them would change, but the emotional one … Elsa focused on the final few moments, the sensation of Anna's lips against her own, the shock of being kissed, the panic and terror that she might lose control and try to make it more than it was intended to be—all those feelings swirled around her with the snow that started to fall.

She took another truffle and tried to calm the storm of emotions inside.

* * *

 **After Notes:** I apologize for the original chapter being so ridiculously long. In the future, I will do my best to keep chapters under 6000 words or so. Also, bingo was invented in 1530 in Italy, so it is period to use it.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author Notes:** This story contains themes that may make some readers uncomfortable. If femslash or the thought of two consenting adults engaging in a relationship that is considered taboo in the real world offends you, then this story is not for you. I welcome reviews and critiques, but the world already has enough hate, so please keep your flames to yourself. There are many other wonderful stories on this site, and I won't be offended if you choose one of them instead. _Standard Disclaimer:_ I don't make claims on any Disney trademarks/copyrights and mean no infringement on them or anybody else.

 **Special Note: The original chapter 6 was too long, so I split it into three shorter chapters. I got a little too laser targeted on getting it done before surgery and didn't pay attention to the length. This chapter contains the post-tea scenes from the original.**

 **Chapter 8.**

"Bath, bath, bath." Anna sat on the edge of the bed and stared toward the bathroom door. A bath might relax her, but she'd already taken one before dinner and didn't come up with many solutions then; she was doubtful another one would have any more success.

 _What was I thinking?_ She got up and started pacing, though she took more of a meandering, slow path out into her sitting room than a straight line. _What on earth possessed me to kiss her on the lips?_ They were two good questions and two she hadn't the slightest inkling of how to answer.

She searched her memory; had Elsa ever kissed her there? If she had, then maybe she could laugh it off as returning the favor. There was no such memory, and she knew what she'd done couldn't be laughed off, no matter the reason.

"Elsa said it was ok, but it wasn't. She was too … what _was_ she?" Anna reached the bookcase and ran her fingers absently across the spines of the books in it.

They were mostly textbooks, poetry, history, and the other things a princess would be expected to read. Interspersed among these, however, were several less well-bound volumes, books she'd stolen from the library through the years.

She'd never asked why such tawdry titles would be in the Royal Library; it made her slightly guilty to take them, but it was better her doing that than her mother finding them. The idea of Iduna reading something titled _Tales of Lust from an Old Man's Young Wife_ or worse, _Seduction of a School Girl_ , made Anna want to dive for cover. _She_ had no compunctions about opening the books, however, and it was from them that she'd learned about sex.

She'd figured out how to pleasure herself by the time she was fourteen, and the books were far more titillating than explicit, though, so she hadn't learned much. She could imagine the princess rewarding her knight for his valor with far more vividness, though she had a hard time picturing the male anatomy—and wasn't sure she wanted to. She could imagine her lovers in several more positions than any respectable woman would learn in her entire life, and knew that there were some things she didn't _ever_ want to do. That was the extent of her education, and it worked, until now.

Those books certainly didn't teach her about kissing her own sister. Any kissing that was done was between man and woman. One or two touched on the idea of incest, but it was something Anna never paid attention to, being for all intents an only child. The references were vague insinuations at best anyway and she had no interest in trying to link them to the situation at hand.

"How would two women even go about it?" _Two women together is just…._ Anna's mind suddenly supplied an image that made her face heat up; it heated up more when her conscience kicked in and told her whom she was imagining. The picture was gone in a flash, but the heat remained. "Dear Freya … what … just … _that_ was bizarre," she gasped in disbelief, "Like Elsa would ever do…." _I wonder if her breasts really do look that nice underneath all the—_ "Gaaaah!"

She shook her head to clear her mind. "Just because I accidentally kissed her doesn't mean I want something like … wow, that was … wow." She started wandering again, trying to understand why she'd imagine something she should be doing with Kristoff—if they were married and adventurous—with her sister instead. "I know I've been comparing them a lot, and Elsa has been winning, but that was…. No-no-no! That's ridiculous; I'm just confused about kissing him, that's all. It has nothing to do with Elsa. It's just because I kissed her by accident."

There was a sharp twinge between her legs and she growled. _Of all the times for_ _ **that**_ _to start up_. Her libido had a habit of showing itself at the strangest times, but this was stranger than most. _Like_ _ **Elsa**_ _would turn me on—even doing…._ She coughed and turned her thoughts somewhere less dangerous. Thinking about the forbidden books could be the cause, though she found it unlikely. Reading them made her heart pound and that was it.

Anna had a hard time getting aroused intentionally, so she was half-convinced there was something wrong with her, especially given the random nature of the moments when she did feel her body heating up. She wasn't sure what set her off; it sometimes happened when she was being introduced to people—she'd meet a man she thought was good-looking but not the sort she'd be interested in only to have other parts of her body suggest otherwise. He was rarely as attractive as the woman next in the line, much less a heart-throb. Still, she'd end up shifting uncomfortably for several minutes until she could escape and sit down.

It would happen when she was wandering through town. She'd be talking to a shopkeeper, pause for him to help another woman, and go back to her conversation only to have the familiar pulsing start in the pit of her stomach. She hoped she wasn't attracted to the fishmonger and the bowyer; they were both a lot older and not particularly appealing. Even simply passing a couple on the street sometimes raised the ache. It was frustrating and annoying, but she couldn't change it.

Occasionally, she wondered if this was normal for women. Her mother insisted that women weren't supposed to be aroused unless they were being touched by their husbands, but she'd always been suspicious of the truth in that.

Her mother was a strange one when it came to sex. Clearly affectionate with Anna's father, she would turn on her heel and chastise Anna severely for having a romantic novel from the library, even though they were much more innocent than the ones she stole. 'Young girls shouldn't think of such things.' 'A princess need only concern herself with the man she will marry.' Even telling her that touching herself was taking away the right of her spouse to claim her chastity.

That last was clear malarkey as far as Anna was concerned. Even so, she didn't find it very satisfying, so she acceded at least the possibility that her mother wasn't totally wrong. Thus, it was always a bit confusing when she started feeling desire prickle through her body for no apparent reason. _It certainly isn't because of Elsa!_ Ignoring the slight pulsing of her center, she tried to focus once again on her confusion about what happened in the parlor.

Why such a simple thing caused such a huge reaction in both of them was beyond her. She knew women didn't kiss each other like that. She knew _sisters_ didn't. But she also knew that Elsa's lips were meltingly soft against her own, softer than she'd ever felt when those lips touched her cheek. The jolt it sent through her body was … "It was probably because the temperature dropped so fast. I was definitely shivering." She wandered over and collapsed across the bed, staring at the canopy. "How can she not get cold when it's ten below zero?"

The question was a diversion for only a few seconds, and then her thoughts turned back to possibly the dumbest thing she'd ever done.

* * *

The bath water was hot, and Elsa sank to her shoulders with a sigh. Normally, she avoided too much heat; she didn't tolerate it well, unlike her immunity to the cold. There were times, however, when a hot bath felt like paradise. This was one of those times, and she was glad to be able to take it without Bridgette fussing over her.

Despite several more truffles than her stomach cared for, she was no closer to understanding what happened, much less knowing what to do about it. Her brain didn't want to move past replaying the event over and over as if it didn't want her to find a reason. Every breath, every movement, everything was graven into her memory. The small sound Anna made before she jumped away, the tiny noise that might have been a moan, still sounded in Elsa's ears.

She knew she had to focus and address the situation rationally, but just remembering the faint taste of lemon on Anna's lips made her tremble, and she found it hard to think of anything else. If her sister kissed her on the cheek, it would have been difficult enough, but the sensation of those soft, pink lips against her own was impossible to forget. Her own mouth still tingled from the contact, and the memory was driving her crazy.

 _What possible reason could she have for kissing me that way?_ Elsa remembered that Anna turned her head slightly as she leaned forward, but it was clear she didn't realize it herself. So whatever the reason, it was subconsciou _s. Does she know how I feel … and trying to get me to admit it?_

Not Anna; Anna would never do something so cruel, even subconsciously. Her intentions were innocent, whatever they might be. Elsa wished it were because her sister returned her feelings, but even in her dreams, she recognized that to be impossible. Her body pulsed lightly as memories of those dreams rose in her.

"No!" Gritting her teeth, Elsa pushed back at the hint of a physical response she didn't want. She drew her knees up and rested her forehead on them. "No," she said more softly. "I won't—not about that."

As much as she wanted to feel her sister's touch, she knew it was impossible. She didn't know if she could go through with her desires even if it were. There was a line between fantasy and reality and she was well aware of it. The things that she did with Anna in her imagination—she knew it wasn't real, and that let the guilt fade enough to keep doing them. It was a fantasy, an impossible dream, and the Anna in it wasn't real and never would be.

The very real Anna kissing her was a totally different matter. Elsa leaned back and closed her eyes. _She kissed me. Freya, it was wonderful._ For two seconds Elsa floated on air. For two seconds she did with her sister what she'd dreamed of for weeks. For two seconds—

"It can't happen." Elsa hit the water with her palms angrily. "No matter how much I want it, it can't happen. Anna didn't mean it that way." Had her sister held the kiss a second longer, though, Elsa would have responded, her intentions far from innocent. What would Anna have done then?

Elsa was immune to cold, but that didn't mean she couldn't tell that the water temperature was getting close to freezing. Growling, she stood up and grabbed her towel, stepping out of the tub just as the liquid within it froze. Muttering a curse Bridgette would do more than raise an eyebrow at hearing, Elsa defrosted the miniature skating rink and reached in to pull the plug.

Wrapping the towel around herself, she went back into the bedroom and sat heavily on the edge of the bed. _Why did she have to kiss me?_ Elsa spent hours each week practicing self-control—control of her powers, and control of her desires. One simple act threatened to destroy all of that, one simple, innocent act. Elsa knew she could regain the control over her powers far more easily than of her desires.

"I can't let this get to me." She clenched her fists into the sheets. "We've just made peace; I can't pull away again."

Anna was certainly thinking about what she'd done, too, but Elsa doubted it was more than worry she'd made her sister angry again. For Anna, it was a baffling mistake, nothing more. She couldn't know that with a soft touch of her lips she'd drawn Elsa a step over the line. Elsa would make sure she never found out, too. Unfortunately, Elsa couldn't remove her own memories. It was only a step, but crossing the line made her desire for her sister real; very real. She fell back across the mattress and groaned, but not in pleasure.

 _Incest._ Elsa clenched her thighs together and trying to stop the throbbing of her center. _I knew that's what it was all along, but … it's not just a word anymore._ "No! I can't see her like that! She didn't mean it. Get it together, Elsa." She was desperate to stop the fire building inside, more desperate than she'd ever been before.

It didn't matter that her pain expressed itself around her; snow and cold were far preferable to violating her little sister, even in her mind. She could never touch the real Anna. She would never imagine her, either. It was something that hovered at the edge of her conscience from the beginning, though until now it had been easy to ignore. To do the things she dreamed about to the woman she just left would be taking advantage of Anna's openness and _innocent_ love in a horrible way.

She doubted Anna would say no, but it would be out of desperation to keep her from pulling away again, not because she wanted to. _But what if she was so upset about kissing me because she feels the same way I do and doesn't want me to know?_ Elsa scowled. She was just making excuses to justify what her body was increasingly demanding.

"I'm her big sister, and she adores me for it—nothing else. She doesn't imagine us making love; she imagines us having tea together. Get it through your head, Elsa. Touching her is the same as—" Elsa swallowed hard, the heat in her chest subsiding some. She knew the laws. She knew them well; she'd read them enough times in the last two months. In the eyes of the law, seducing Anna was the same as forcing herself on a stranger—worse, since they were both women. In the eyes of society, it would make her the monster she so feared she'd become.

With another groan, Elsa rolled over fully onto the bed and curled up. The hunger was returning, despite everything—despite even the fear of the word she so hated. Her mind knew the difference between wrong and right but her body didn't, and it demanded satisfaction more strongly the longer she fought it.

 _Please, Freya, help me stop this._ They were words she's spoken many times and thought many more. The goddess hadn't responded yet, but Elsa prayed that this time, she would. It was her last defense, and if it failed, she feared she'd give in. It would be violating Anna's innocence, but she'd do it anyway. _Please, Freya…._ Elsa curled up more tightly and continued the battle. _Please….  
_

* * *

"They're two different kinds of kisses entirely," Anna muttered. She'd been struggling for some time to find a reason that her mouth strayed from its original target in the parlor. Though she tried not to think about it, she didn't feel the guilt she should knowing the taboo she'd broken—that she'd kissed her sister the way she kissed Kristoff. Not quite the same, but close enough. And, she'd done it without Elsa's permission. She should feel guilty. She should be appalled at her action.

She didn't—she wasn't. There wasn't a speck of anything besides worry that she'd upset Elsa. If her sister tried to prolong it, she wouldn't have resisted, either. _That_ raised warning bells and she quickly pushed it away. It would only happen because she was lost in the softness of Elsa's lips, not because she wanted more from her sister. It was also something Elsa would never do.

Yet Anna forced a kiss on her. _What if that was her first one?_ Her eyes widened. As kisses go, it barely qualified, but it did qualify—and Elsa was about as likely to have already kissed someone as Anna was to accept another proposal from that bastard Hans. _I did it without her permission on top of everything._ "I'm surprised she didn't freeze me solid then and there."

She thanked the Gods Elsa _hadn't_ frozen her. She thanked the Gods Elsa wasn't furious with her. The look on her sister's face when she jumped back was confusing, though. Elsa looked as if Anna had just stabbed her, even grabbing at her chest. The temperature reached well below freezing almost as fast as it had that night at the coronation. Thinking back, she looked a lot like she had in the moments after revealing her powers that night.

"Why would she be terrified of me kissing her? Shocked, I could see, even angry. But why afraid?"

 _Why was_ _ **I**_ _so afraid?_ It wasn't fear that Elsa would react with magic, or that she would explode in fury, though both were possible; Anna's fear was something else entirely. She just couldn't figure out what. _I wonder if I looked like that after Kristoff kissed me? Was he afraid, too?_

"Why would he be afraid, other than of getting slapped, maybe—though I told him he could do it. Elsa wasn't expecting it at all. I wonder if she just turned her head at the wrong time?" It was possible, but that wouldn't explain to Anna why she didn't just break contact and laugh it off. "I made it a real kiss instead. Why?"

She wanted to kiss her sister good night to show she really was forgiven. That was it. Wasn't it? "I must've had Kristoff on my mind and not realized it." Anna rolled onto her side and hugged a pillow. "I have been thinking about what to do about him. I've been comparing them a lot, too. Still … I _kissed_ her. Ok, so it felt good … I didn't know it would when I did it. It was a lot nicer than kissing him, but she's my sister. Ugh. Elsa has to be thinking I've lost my mind."

Anna changed position again, still aware of the heat in her core and the wetness at the join of her thighs. She stared at the canopy once more. "Why did this start now? It can't be Elsa, but … I don't want to do that with Kristoff either, so why…. One kiss sure has caused a lot of trouble. Well, two kisses, I guess."

She suddenly sat upright. Was it possible she'd kissed Elsa in some subconscious attempt to erase Kristoff's from her mouth? She wondered if still feeling slightly disgusted by him caused her to make a stupid mistake without thinking. Tea calmed her fears that Elsa hated her, and Anna wanted to show that her own feelings were unchanged. At the same time, she'd been comparing her sister with Kristoff all afternoon, so it wasn't impossible she changed her aim simply to rid herself of the memory of his kiss.

It had certainly faded in importance; she had trouble now remembering exactly how his lips felt, while the softness of Elsa's was very present. Even if it was meant in different ways, and a stupid mistake, Anna managed to confirm that she found the prospect of another kiss from Kristoff unpleasant.

Unfortunately, she'd replaced that uncertainty with worry that Elsa now had a good reason to keep her distance. True, she'd eventually acted as if it didn't bother her, but it did and Anna knew it. That shocked stare, her white face, and the snow that instantly swirled around them all told the truth more clearly than her sister's words. Kissing Elsa had upset her as deeply as Anna's demanding questions the night of the coronation, maybe more.

Anna crossed her arms and sighed heavily. The pulsing need in her body continued, despite her emotional turmoil. _Great, I'm panicking about Elsa and my libido still expects me to pay attention to it._ A bath sounded good after all. The warm water usually calmed her hunger, and there was always the remote chance she'd have some insight while she soaked. Getting up, she padded toward the bathroom with a silent prayer that someone would help her understand the mess she'd gotten herself into.

Half an hour later, Anna crawled in bed feeling even more frustrated than she had to start with. She'd finally given in and tried to satisfy her libido in the tub, without success. It didn't surprise her, especially with the way the image of Elsa she'd pushed away earlier showed up each time she grew close to orgasm. That would bring panic and still her fingers, then she'd growl at herself and force her thoughts back to her favorite fantasy, only to have it happen again. It ruined what might otherwise have actually been, for once, an enjoyable experience.

The one positive was that she knew now that Kristoff, at least physically, didn't raise the kinds of feelings in her that he should. She also wondered if her lingering uncertainty was due to anything more than not wanting to hurt his feelings. There was still much to decide about how to move forward with their relationship—and what sort of relationship she wanted to have, but she couldn't do it tonight. Other concerns still crowded her mind.

She'd kissed Elsa and there was no way to take it back. She'd enjoyed it but it meant nothing beyond needing to erase Kristoff's taste from her mouth and curiosity about how different Elsa's lips would be.

 _They were wonderful. Goddess, she felt good._ For a second, she thought that perhaps kissing Kristoff wouldn't have been so bad if he had her sister's lips, but the reasons they had no future went far beyond the sensation of their mouths pressed together.

His may have been Anna's first kiss, but her second made for a much better memory, despite the panic and confusion. She would rather kiss Elsa a thousand times than kiss Kristoff again. That thought confused her, even though she knew it was true. It was Elsa's lips she'd fall asleep thinking about, and somehow that made her ready for her dreams.

* * *

The snow in Elsa's room was getting heavier, and the temperature dropped steadily. Elsa was oblivious to the cold. She was hot. Her body was hot, throbbing, needy. She fought for control, but there was nothing left after the force of will it took to keep her hands by her sides. On other nights, her resistance to her desires was half-hearted at best, but tonight she needed to win. She couldn't cross the line any further, and if she surrendered, she would.

She couldn't touch herself so intimately while hungering for the woman … _her sister!_ … just down the hall, and she didn't trust herself not to remember the kiss in the heat of passion. _I can't do it … even if Anna never finds out…._ It seemed as though she'd been fighting for hours, but barely five minutes had passed since the battle began.

If only she wasn't so curious. If she had closed the book after the first page, none of this would be happening. She knew before she found it that she was in love with Anna. It was a sweet, innocent love—not that thoughts of kissing never crossed her mind, she'd just never considered anything beyond that. The Anna in her dreams then wasn't so different from the Anna she took nightly tea with. It was frustrating, though, and when she found the thin tome now stashed behind her bedside table she discovered why.

Where such an explicit novel came from, she didn't know, but when she found it—shoved behind a law book in her office—Elsa's life changed. She'd never considered that other women might feel like she did, might be taken with their own gender instead of men. To read of two women … kissing … on the very first page.… Just those words sent shivers through her body. When that kissing started moving downward on the second, she slammed the book shut and almost hurled it across the room.

An interruption forced her to calm herself, and when she came back to the book, she couldn't help reading more—and more. Thoughts of getting rid of it vanished, replaced with thoughts of doing those things with Anna … things far beyond the gentle kisses she'd imagined until now. She vowed again to get rid of it, but somehow ended up in bed that night devouring the words, breaking the lock on Pandora's box. She would never look at Anna the same way again.

During those dark hours, Elsa learned what a true orgasm was, and how much she wanted to bring Anna to the same heights. She'd done more than ice over the bedposts, too. All of that combined to make it impossible to look Anna in the eyes come breakfast. From that moment until the present, Elsa did everything she could to avoid her sister. She was terrified of the desires that rose in her when she caught glimpse of Anna, terrified of what happened to her body when they were forced to eat together. She was terrified of what might happen if her sister discovered the reason for her sudden distance.

 _Why did she kiss me?_ The Anna from her dreams and the Anna from the parlor were the same person but had become so infinitely different as the days passed. If she'd imagined what happened, she'd have surrendered long ago. She didn't, though, and thinking about her sister—her beautiful, living, breathing sister—doing the things the imaginary Anna did every night, was wrong on too many levels to count. It was wrong, but it sent shocks of hunger through her.

Elsa felt her control slipping; her desires were stronger than her ability to fight them. Unbidden, the image she'd been dreading rose behind her eyelids—Anna, kissing her but not pulling back, instead pressing forward, pushing Elsa into the wood of the door frame. Anna, kissing her neck, unbuttoning her dress and pulling it off her shoulders—

"Damn it!" Elsa shook her head trying to dispel the image, but it was too late; she'd lost, and the floodgates were opened. Remembering Anna's lips, tasting lightly of chocolate and lemon, touching hers raised overwhelming desire. Coupled with the knowledge of what could follow if they allowed it, that desire crested and crashed through her as burning, hungry, need. _Can I look her in the face if I do this?_

A faint point of reason tried to take root, but it was washed away by primal desire. She undid her towel; fighting longer would only make things worse. Her nipples, already erect, hardened further when the air hit them, her aureolae puckering almost painfully.

 _Anna was grinning as she unbuttoned her waistcoat and blouse, shrugging them off. After making sure Elsa could see everything, she undid her skirt and let it fall to the ground._

"I'm so sorry, Anna," Elsa whispered in a broken voice as she slid a hand up her stomach and found one of the sharp peaks on her chest. A rush of fire and wetness filled her center as she trailed across it, and she moaned. Another moan followed, louder, when she closed her fingers around the nipple and began to roll.

 _Anna's lips traced a delicate line along the outside of Elsa's ear. "I love you, Elsa." Her sister's voice was husky with desire. "Let me make love to you."_

Elsa's back arched and she let out a cry. The line between the Anna of reality and the Anna of fantasy was blurring, but Elsa couldn't stop it—and she was quickly coming not to care. She brought up her other hand and closed her fingers on both nipples, rolling and pinching while she imagined they were her sister's fingers instead.

 _Now, Anna kissed a hungry line down Elsa's chest, across the curve of one breast, and down her stomach. She slowly kissed back up until, with a painfully delicate touch, her tongue found Elsa's nipple._

"Anna … Ann-a … A-nnnaaa…." Each time she groaned the name, the heat between her thighs intensified, and the pulsing ball filling the pit of her stomach grew hungrier. _Forgive me Anna … I'm so sorry.…_ The desperate need of her body finally overwhelmed her conscience, and she accepted that it was the Anna she'd said good night to after tea now biting her nipple and stroking her thighs with motions moving ever closer to the place she was most alight. The line was broken, no longer important. Elsa pulled the damp towel from underneath her back, leaving her fully naked on the bed.

 _"Do you want this?" Anna's fingers stroked Elsa's inner thigh just below the wetness coating it. "Tell me, Elsa."_

 _Drawing in ragged breaths, Elsa surrendered. "Touch me … please, make love to me, Anna."_

Elsa slid a hand down her stomach to the thatch of hair between her thighs. "I love you, Anna," she gasped, and then jerked and cried out at the first touch of her fingers against the wetness. After a few teasing strokes, Elsa spread her legs to allow easier access to the folds hidden beneath the curls. Slipping a finger between the lips of her center, she slowly slid up and pressed against the hardened nub at their end.

 _Elsa clawed at the sheets, lifted her hips against her sister's hand and begged her not to stop. Anna finally kissed her again, deeply, hungrily, while her fingers danced between Elsa's legs._

Groaning, Elsa continued her fantasy while her hands moved, touching, teasing. Her fingers rubbed against her clitoris with enough force to make her lift her hips, then softened to keep back the climax she wanted so much yet feared to release. Her mind filled with images and fantasies that would surely make her sister despise her but she couldn't stop; the memory of Anna's lips on hers overrode any moral guilt she may have left. Her fingers continued to move, stroking, pinching, teasing.

 _"I'm … so … Goddess, Anna I want to come."_

 _Biting gently at Elsa's earlobe, Anna whispered, "Then come."_

Shooting bolts of desire raced through Elsa's body and coalesced under her fingers in a hungry, heated ball that pulsed almost painfully for just a moment before exploding in an orgasm stronger than she had ever experienced.

"ANNA!" she cried out, unable to keep back the word as waves of pleasure lifted her back into a hard arch—"A-NN-A!"—curled her fingers and toes into the sheets—"ANN-AAAA!"—and finally subsided into small spasms that continued the pleasure with slight jolts for several seconds longer.

"Anna," she whispered, fighting the tears that always came when the hunger faded. "Dear, sweet Anna. Please forgive me."

Several minutes later, Elsa sat up, wiped the last of her tears away, and surveyed her room. Flakes of snow still drifted down, but the temperature had returned to nearly normal. As she feared, ice coated the posts of her bed and part of the surrounding mattress. She could dissolve the ice; unfortunately, the scratches it left behind couldn't be fixed.

There were already dozens of lines and gouges, but Bridgette would see the new ones come morning. Even though she'd never admitted that she touched herself, she was fairly certain the older woman knew anyway. With a sigh, Elsa swung her legs over the side of the bed. The ice extended across the floor and she dismissed it with an angry wave. Only after all the evidence of her earlier activities was gone did she stand. She needed to clean up and find her nightgown _. Anna must never know. No matter what, she must never know._

* * *

Anna rolled over, coming into semi-wakefulness when she thought she heard Elsa calling her. Nothing followed, and she snuggled back into the blankets happily. _Must've dreamed it … Nice dream. Elsa … more kisses._ "Mmn … lots more," she mumbled into her pillow before falling back into a deep, pleasant sleep.

* * *

 **After Notes:** I got through surgery ok, but it will still be some weeks before I can really type again. I do have dictation software, but alas I have a Mac, and the available program doesn't work very well. I hope to be able to keep writing during the first few weeks of recovery, but I'm not making promises. If there's a gap, I haven't abandoned the story. After all, it's just getting good! The last scene ended up less M than I hoped, but coming chapters should make up for it.


	9. Chapter 9

**Author Notes:** I'll no longer be putting a warning at the top of chapters. By now, you should know that you're reading about lesbian incest. If chapters contain other things that should be warned about, I'll do so.

 **Chapter 9.**

"Kristoff, can we make a quick detour?" Anna had been quiet since they left the castle, her mind a jumble of everything that had happened in the prior 24 hours. Kristoff gave her the kiss she'd been dreaming about, and she hated it, and then she unexpectedly kissed her sister — and loved it. She got Elsa to start speaking to her again, only to do something so stupid she was amazed she'd gotten two words at breakfast. She'd barely slept and wished she could just curl up and nap until they arrived.

Her companion glanced at her. Kristoff noticed how unusually subdued Anna was the second he picked her up and hadn't been able to draw much more than a "good morning," and "nice day" out of her since. Even Olaf couldn't get a reaction, which convinced him more was amiss than what happened the previous evening.

Elsa greeted him warmly — for her — but things were definitely awkward between her and her sister and everyone in the courtyard could see it. She and Anna quickly hugged before Anna got in the sleigh, a definite improvement over the last two weeks, though they both looked away when they did it.

"So, can we?" The idea came to her as they neared the cutoff to the Nygård's spa, and she didn't want to drive past it. "I'll make it quick."

"I guess so." Kristoff shrugged. "Where to?" When she pointed at the upcoming turn, he raised an eyebrow in confusion. "What do you need there?"

Anna pursed her lips. "I'd like to buy a present for Elsa. If it's going to be a bother—"

"No! No, not at all." Kristoff sensed her getting angry, another sign that something was wrong, and knew better than to contribute to the problem. He tugged lightly on the rein to show Sven the new road.

Blowing out her breath, Anna looked up to the sky. "I'm sorry I snapped; I had a hard time sleeping is all." It was an understatement; she slept because she dreamed of Elsa, which kept waking her up. The details of the dreams were lost, only that she and her sister were in them.

She'd seen the clock at least twice every hour, so those periods of unconsciousness didn't last long. Sometimes she woke up with a start, chest heaving to catch her breath for a reason that vanished the moment she opened her eyes. Sometimes she woke unwillingly, wanting to return to a place of warmth and happiness she could no longer picture. Either way, she was exhausted and out of sorts.

Kristoff was silent for a moment. He knew Anna well enough to tell something was weighing on her, and he suspected it wasn't him. "Is everything okay?"

"I'm not sure," Anna responded absently, sighing. "I did something stupid last night and I'm not sure I can make up for it." She realized what she said and gasped. "Nothing _incredibly_ stupid. I mean, I didn't do anything to Elsa that I should apologize for. Well, I do owe her an apology, that's why I want to stop and Nygård's. She was trying really hard, and she even let me have the last tart — she managed to find lemons to make lemon meringue tarts, can you believe it? I know the kitchen was out of them because I heard Marta say it. Not that Elsa made the tarts herself! I wonder if she even knows how to cook; I can barely boil water and I wasn't locked in my rooms for 13 years. Of course, Elsa is a lot less clumsy than I am so maybe she—"

"Anna." Kristoff cleared his throat. "Whatever it is, I'm sure you'll sort it out. Things must've gone relatively well last night; otherwise, you wouldn't be hugging this morning. Elsa was even nice to me."

"Elsa didn't hug me!" Olaf, who had been humming to himself in the back the whole time, suddenly wandered forward. "I like Elsa's hugs. She gives warm hugs. Right Anna?"

Startled, Anna jumped. "What? Oh… Yes… She gives very warm hugs." _And even warmer kisses_. Anna blushed, afraid Kristoff's perceptiveness would hear the slight hesitation at the end of the sentence when she caught herself nearly speaking the last.

"She didn't hug me, though." Olaf jumped between the humans on the front bench. "She always hugs me. Why didn't she hug me? Did I do something wrong?"

"No, Olaf, you didn't. Elsa just … has a lot on her mind." Anna sighed and tried to smile at him. "We made up last night, at least."

Olaf grinned back. "So you told her you're in love with her?" A distinct choking sound came from the man holding the reins of the sleigh. Anna turned bright red and stared at the snowman in shock. Olaf returned the look innocently. "You are in love with Elsa, aren't you? I thought it was strange, since you're in love with Kristoff, too, but he says it's okay. I'm not in love with Elsa. Is it okay I'm not in love with her?"

"Olaf!" Kristoff turned an even brighter red than Anna. "I told you Anna's not _in_ love with Elsa. I'm sorry, Anna, I tried to get him to understand the difference, but he doesn't seem able to."

"That's right," Anna stammered. "There's a difference between loving Kristoff and loving Elsa."

Cocking his head, Olaf looked confused. "Why?"

Anna's mouth moved silently for several seconds as she tried to formulate a response. "Well … there just is. The way you love your family is different from the way you love someone you're not related to. It's … complicated."

"Why?"

"Um … because … well … it's because of babies." Anna doubted Olaf would understand babies, either, but she tried.

"Why?"

"You can't … you can't make babies with someone you're related to. They'd be very sick and die."

Olaf pursed his lips and was silent for a moment. "Two girls can't make babies, can they? I don't know how you make them, but I'm pretty sure two girls can't do it. So it's OK for you and Elsa, right?"

Anna turned bright red. "No … they can't, but … two girls can't be in love with each other." Kristoff glanced at her with a raised eyebrow and she shrugged. She was running out of ideas; she'd never thought of the actual reasons for the things she was saying, she just knew they were true.

"Why?"

"Two girls can't get married. And two sisters _definitely_ can't get married, so … it's different, see? You can really, really like another girl, but you can't be in love with one like you can a boy. It's the same with relatives." Saying the words felt empty — like she was responding automatically without believing what she was saying. Still, it was the truth. _I can't be in love with a girl. I can't be in love with Elsa. It simply doesn't happen. Even if_ _…._ "Freya, save me," she muttered, hoping Olaf was finished with his questions.

Olaf scratched his chin. "If you marry Kristoff, he'll be family, right? So if you're in love with him now, and you get married, then you'll be in love with family. Since you're in love with him now, you must be in love with her since they'll be family when you get married."

"No, Olaf, it isn't the same thing, and even then it's not the same thing."

"Why?"

 _I'm getting a headache._ Kristoff could tell that Anna was flustered, and he couldn't blame her. Olaf was too childlike to understand the difference between being related by marriage and related by blood. And Anna didn't look like she believed half of what she was saying in the first place, so her explanations weren't very convincing. Especially about two girls — _That's just stupid, Bjorgman._

"Oh, hey, we're here." Gratefully, he drew back on the reins to stop Sven in front of the large building that served as the entry to Nygård's spa. "Why don't you wander around a bit, Olaf?" He winked at Anna. "We won't be stopping after this until we reach the Valley."

"Okay." Olaf hopped down and started toward the small garden at the end of the parking area.

"Thanks." Anna drew in a deep breath and let it out in a rush. "I'll buy something to distract him so he doesn't get back on that topic."

Kristoff laughed. "Anything would distract him, but if you can keep him busy, I'm all for it. Having him around is almost like having a child isn't it?" His eyes widened, and he turned bright red. "Not that I think of him as our child — I mean, I don't think about having children with you or anything. It's not that I wouldn't _want_ to have children with you, but we'd have to be married first and that's a lot of responsibility, so we have to talk about it." He gulped when he saw the panic rising in his companion's face. "I'm sorry."

Smiling weakly, Anna nodded. Her mind went along almost exactly the same track, and it worried her he seemed to feel it was a topic to revisit in the future. "Why don't you come in? I've been wanting you to meet Gudrun."

It had never quite worked out for her to introduce the two, but she had a feeling they'd get along well. Gudrun wasn't as socially awkward as she and Kristoff were, and she had a good sense of humor. She was also an orphan. The Nygård's adopted her at six, around the same time Kristoff was taken in by the trolls.

He didn't remember her name from the orphanage and she always changed the subject for some reason; even so, Anna was sure they would know each other if they met. If not, they shared a common background, and she was certain they would enjoy each other's company.

"Nah, I'm going to water Sven and use the facilities. You should too; I really don't want to stop again before we get there." Anna rolled her eyes and started toward the main building. Kristoff watched her go and then leaned against Sven and sighed. "At least she's talking," he grumbled. "Why Olaf had to bring all that up…"

The reindeer turned his head and butted it against his human's. "He's right, though." His muzzle didn't move, but the point came across anyway.

Kristoff smacked him, not hard, but enough to indicate his irritation. "Anna is not in love with Elsa. They're really close, that's all. I mean, that hug this morning didn't look like they're more than sisters."

"They just made up." Sven tossed his head. "She'll figure it out soon, you watch."

Making a noise of dismissal, Kristoff took Sven's bridle and tugged. "Come on, let's take care of business while she's in there picking out smelly salts or whatever." He glanced at the building as he led Sven to the water trough. _I hope Grand Pabbie can help me figure out what to do about this mess before all the smelly salts in Arendelle can't save my head._

* * *

The double doors on the building that fronted the Nygård spa opened onto a large open room where the family sold everything from towels to perfume. Anna was sometimes surprised by how many things a customer might use at a spa, but every product clearly had a purpose. One of Gudrun's sisters was at the counter, and when she saw Anna, she greeted her and quickly went to fetch her older sibling.

Anna took little time finding the soap and bath salts she thought Elsa would like. The Queen didn't soak the way most people did, because of the heat. When she did, she needed serious relaxation, so Anna chose scents she was sure Elsa liked. Hopefully, it would help with the apology she still didn't know how to make.

She was still perusing the selection of salts, wondering if she should get something for herself, when Gudrun Nygård came in. Gudrun was very tall, so she could see the top of Anna's red hair well before her friend could see her. Chuckling to herself, Gudrun slid around the side of the aisle but got only halfway down it before Anna sensed her movement and turned quickly.

"When are you going to learn you can't sneak up on me, Gudrun?" The redhead grinned at her. "I specialize in sneaking around."

"Which is definitely a skill a Princess should be proficient at." Gudrun laughed a little louder. "What brings you here? I thought you weren't accompanying Lady Aife's group today."

Anna sighed. "Buying an 'I'm sorry gift,' unfortunately." She took the bottle of salts she'd been looking at and added it to the basket before walking to the counter. "And I'm certain Lady Aife is thrilled that I'm _not_ accompanying her today."

"So you're out with that boyfriend of yours again?" Gudrun met her on the other side of the checkout. "I heard a rumor about you two last night," she added with a twinkle in her eyes. "I heard you were snogging in the town square. Does Her Majesty know about that?"

"WHAT?" Anna almost dropped the basket; at the last moment, she spilled the contents across the counter instead. "Who told you that?"

Gudrun's eyebrows went up. "So it's true?" Her friend turned red and Gudrun rolled her eyes. "Seriously? Does the Queen know about it?"

"I need a bigger basket." Anna looked at the floor. "News travels faster than I'd hoped."

"Like there's been any rumor in Arendelle for the last century bigger than the Crown Princess kissing a commoner in the town square — other than wild ideas about why the castle was closed off, that is?"

With an angry growl, Anna met her friend's gaze. "His rank has nothing to do with it!" Gudrun looked at her steadily, and she deflated. "It just sort of happened. I gave him the new sleigh, and he was really excited and he said he wanted to kiss me and I said okay and…" she trailed off, unable to keep going.

 _Everybody knows I did it, and nobody knows I hated it. Arrrrgh! If Elsa does find out before I tell her_ _… why did I have to be so_ _ **stupid**_ _?_

"Hmph." Stroking her chin Gudrun kept her attention on her friend's face and the emotions flash across it. Anna was a bit impulsive, but agreeing to something like that on the spur of the moment was probably the most impulsive she'd ever heard of.

For someone not in line for the throne, kissing in public would be startling. Anna was the Queen's heir, so a kiss with a commoner would be shocking beyond words for most people — at least until the rumors started flying. Then nobody would shut up. "I guess that's what the 'I'm sorry' is for, then?"

"Um… Well… Not exactly." Remembering the inner turmoil of the previous night, Anna lowered her gaze. With the difference in height, it put her eyes at just above the level of Gudrun's chest. _She really_ _ **is**_ _stacked. Is she wearing bindings? I can kinda see her nipples so—_

Shocked at herself for noticing the small bumps that pushed against the simple dress her friend wore, Anna jerked her head up and met Gudrun's gaze again. A few seconds later, she glanced down once more. _Elsa's are nicer. Gudrun's a close second, though._ She turned red.

Gudrun was the only woman Anna had ever seen naked. They often soaked together in one of the smaller baths the spa offered. Gudrun tall and solidly built, with curves in all the right places — especially her breasts. They were big and seemed to defy gravity with their firmness. Anna knew, without a doubt, that Elsa's were firmer and perkier, though.

She'd never seen Elsa's breasts, but the Queen's ice dresses showcased them enough to convince her of their perfection. She'd never noticed in more than a passing way before — on either Gudrun or her sister; they were women after all. She thought of both as sisters though her feelings for Elsa were deeper.

 _Deep enough to kiss her? It wasn't about that. It was a mistake and I'll apologize and we'll get on with life. Right? Just because I keep thinking about her breasts_ _…_

Worse, she was noticing Gudrun's breasts more keenly than she ever had, and realizing that made her uncomfortable. She was more uncomfortable to be comparing them with Elsa's — as if the difference mattered. Worse than worse, she vaguely wished to see her sister's for herself.

Yet she was still looking, and she couldn't seem to stop. When she forced her attention up again, Gudrun gave her a confused look. She coughed and studied the wall behind the counter. "I hadn't planned on telling her yet, but maybe I better."

"You think?" If it were anyone else, Gudrun would assume they already knew what she'd been up to. The rumor was impossible to avoid if you spent any time at the market that morning.

Anna was lucky that her sister was the Queen of Arendelle, who rarely spoke to anybody other than a close circle of advisers. She doubted one of them would want to be the first to share _that_ news with her.

"Um … yeah, I think. I was hoping to have some time to find the right words. Now I'll probably babble and that'll make her even angrier than she'll have started with." Anna stared at the ceiling wishing she could take the previous day back. _I wouldn't have gotten to kiss Elsa though. Wait, why does that bother me? I shouldn't have done it, and I might have pissed her off_ _… so why don't I want to erase it? It was really, really nice, but definitely not a good idea._

Gudrun rolled her eyes, waiting for her companion to finish the inner conversation she saw playing out on the Princess's face. "Well, if you need to apologize for that, too, I have a suggestion. We don't carry it in ready stock because it's expensive, but I have a blend of oils I think Her Majesty would love. I could make a special soap, or candles, if you prefer, and have it ready for you by the time you come back from the Valley. I doubt Father would mind a donation to the happiness of the Queen."

Anna nodded quickly. She was too tired to struggle with could-have-beens. "That would be great; she loves candles. If they're expensive, though, I won't ask you to give them to me. Abuse of power, and all that." Normally, she wouldn't make such a comment — because it was true — but she and Gudrun were friendly enough that she felt okay making a joke out of it.

Stifling outright laughter, Gudrun nodded quickly. "I'll make bath salts too, but she'll have to let them sit for a few days before they're good to use. You can argue with Father over payment; just remember he's even bigger than me." She gave in and let out a few hearty guffaws. "Leave the rest here; I'll make up a nice basket with everything."

"Thanks, Gudrun. I figured if anyone could help me out, it would be you."

"So… What did you need the 'I'm sorry' for in the first place?" Gudrun watched curiously as her friend's face turned red, and Anna's gaze darted around the room nervously. "Wait — did the Queen tell you what was wrong? Did you actually _do_ something?" She had a dozen more questions, but unlike the Princess, she didn't talk much, and so she waited for the answer to the first two.

Shifting uncomfortably, Anna shook her head. "No. Well, she didn't like that I ki—" she cut off in time to change the line. "That I kept hogging the tarts at tea, but it was really because she—" she stopped again. Gudrun was a dear friend, but Anna wouldn't reveal the actual reason for her sister's behavior. "She just tried to do too much and got stressed out."

Gudrun cocked her head. Clearly, Anna wasn't telling her the truth, but she knew better than to prod her for answers. _I doubt the Queen would ignore her for two weeks over tarts, that's for sure._ They may be friends, but she had no right to know what went on in the Royal family and respected the difference in their stations enough to keep her peace. "Well, as long as you made up. I'm curious what you _did_ do, if you need to apologize with gifts, though knowing you, it wasn't anything serious."

"Well… Yeah…" Anna managed to smile. "I'd better get going… Why don't you come out and meet Kristoff? I can't believe I haven't been able to introduce you two yet."

"Oh. Well … I don't have time… I'm going to be in trouble for coming up in the first place." When Anna pouted, Gudrun surrendered with a sigh. "I can't see him now, but I promise I'll come out tonight." She didn't want to admit that she tried to stay away from anything that reminded her of the orphanage. That included people.

Not that it was a bad place, but children were quick to single out those who were different, and she was definitely different. She dreaded coming face-to-face with one of those bullies as an adult; she would probably be taller than they were, and much more able to defend herself than in those days, but she wasn't sure she'd be able to take the high road and let bygones be bygones.

Kristoff wasn't an uncommon name in the orphanage—there were at least six Gudrun remembered, and every last one of them took pleasure in calling her names, at the least; a few were much worse. She doubted any of those boys could have grown up to be as gentle as Anna described her Kristoff to be, but she still didn't want to risk meeting him and finding out he _was_ one of her tormentors. She'd have to be nice, but inside she'd want to pummel him into the dirt.

Anna nodded her head, smiling normally. "I'm keeping you to your promise! We should be back around dusk; Elsa's worried about wolves." When Gudrun looked baffled, she added, "I'm joking. She wants us home by dark."

"I have everything ready for you by then," Gudrun returned. "You'd better get going; I'm sure Kristoff is getting antsy, with you shopping so long. Men are like that."

"Oh! Olaf!" Anna remembered she was supposed to find something to distract him with. "Do you have something for a child that would keep him busy for a few hours?" _Not that he's a child_ _… though Elsa did make him, so technically he is … wait, if Elsa made him, that means he's_ _ **her**_ _child._ "Oh, wow," she muttered.

"What?" Gudrun glanced over her shoulder; they had a small selection of toys on the wall behind the counter, mostly to pacify children whose mothers spent too long shopping. "I have a couple of whirligigs."

"No, I don't think he could hold it right."

After a few more seconds, Gudrun found what she'd been looking for to start with. She took one of the toys from the box and turned to Anna. "Jacob's Ladder. That should keep him busy for a while. My father even plays with one of these now and then. Says it relaxes him."

It was a very simple toy; three rectangles of wood held together with ribbon. Anna lit up when she saw it. "I had this when I was little! Elsa could do tricks with hers, but I was happy watching it … I'd stare at it for hours. This is perfect." She hesitated. "I'd better take the whirligig, too. Just in case."

Chuckling, Gudrun gave the toys to her friend, waving away the offered money. "Those cost next to nothing, so don't worry about it."

"You're a lifesaver." Anna heaved a sigh of relief. "I'll see you tonight, then? Don't forget your promise!" She started to leave, turned when she reached the doorway and waved, and then vanished from sight.

Gudrun scratched her head and sighed. Anna seemed obsessed with introducing her to Kristoff. If she didn't know better, she'd think her friend was trying to set her up with him. She didn't talk about the ice cutter the way Gudrun would expect that was for sure. Other than wanting to introduce her, Anna rarely babbled about him, not the way she talked incessantly about her sister.

Even though the Princess talked about hugs and kisses, the way she did it wasn't genuine. She tried too hard to act like and want the things she thought a girl in love should. Kristoff was besotted or too naïve to recognize it for himself, apparently, given that when Anna did speak of him he was always doing something nice for her. It wasn't on purpose, that was clear, but somehow Gudrun felt Anna wasn't as in love as she seemed.

When Anna talked about their outings, it sounded like she was reading from a novel. She got dreamy-eyed, but it seemed more at the idea of romance instead of the experience. Picnics, rides through the countryside, picking berries — all things a couple who were courting should do, and all described in an oddly detached way. At first, Gudrun wrote it off as not knowing exactly how to behave around the opposite sex, but as time passed, she began to think it was more than that.

Anna seemed to be forcing herself when she talked about Kristoff as a boyfriend; she was more than eager to share their escapades, but when it came to being in love with him, she was a different person. She'd barely even described him. All Gudrun knew was that he was tall, broad, had a big nose and "girly blond hair" (w _hat does that mean?)_ and that he held a lot of conversations with his reindeer.

When she spoke of the Queen, however, her eyes lit up and she was so animated Gudrun sometimes worried she'd knock something over. She went into detail about what Elsa was wearing, what perfume she'd chosen for the day, whether she'd had lemon in her evening tea and on and on. Even after their disagreement — or whatever it was — Anna still talked incessantly about her sister.

It was telling that the Princess didn't get more excited over her boyfriend than she did her sister. Telling, but not the only thing suggesting Anna wasn't really interested in him.

She'd been around Anna long enough to see how she looked at other women now and then. The redhead clearly had no clue she was doing it but was obvious to Gudrun. She'd seen Anna nearly walk into walls looking at an attractive female guest, but the only comment she made on the men was that they were handsome or cute.

Anna even stared at Gudrun's chest sometimes, like she did earlier. Her expression then was far more confused than Gudrun had seen in a long time, and with more recognition in her eyes of what she was staring at. _Is she attracted to women?_

Gudrun certainly wasn't going to ask her about it. She could be wrong after all; it really might be awkwardness around men. Anna stared at her chest sometimes, nothing more. _For all I know she's just got a fixation on breasts._

It didn't bother her either way; more than a few couples who stayed at the spa were of the same sex. Such relationships weren't illegal, but generally not openly recognized. The spa offered a chance for more intimate interactions than a couple could normally express outside their lodgings, so she'd seen it before.

"Whatever it is, I hope she figures it out before someone gets hurt." Gudrun sighed heavily. If Anna wanted to talk to her about it, she would. If Anna didn't, it was none of her business, anyway. Suppositions were just that and she had work to do.

* * *

 **After Notes:** Things have gotten weird around the homestead, so I've rethought my chapter structure. Expect shorter chapters with (hopefully) more frequent releases. I'd consider even going so far as releasing the story scene-by-scene, if that's how to maintain the best schedule. My scenes run between 1500-3000 words, so I'm not decided on it. The next chapter is in final revisions now, so there may be another release mid-week. I have a non-Crocus one-shot almost finished, too, so there may be a side release this week as well.

Thanks to **IceWraith** for the read-throughs and suggestions. Also, thanks everyone for the reviews and PMs. The thing with Freya was a total coincidence; I'm ashamed to say I've forgotten a lot of my Norse mythology and didn't brush up before picking her.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10.**

It was close to noon and Elsa was getting hungry and tired. After seeing two shops in town, they were now at the first of two farms they would tour before returning to the castle for a late lunch. Rolling green hills on either side of the procession were dotted with sheep, owned by the homestead they were visiting now. Not far down the road leading to the owner's home, the group drew to a sudden halt.

One of the guards shouted. "Someone's in the tree there!" The sound of hooves clattered as the soldiers surrounded the carriage more defensively.

"You there, state your name and business!" Elsa heard no response. A moment later, the man shouted again. "You there! Announce yourself, or we will take action."

After several more moments of silence, a small thin voice reached the group. "P-Peter. I'm the son of the farmer who lives here."

"Come down, so we can see you."

There was more noise as the horsemen changed their positions again. Elsa blew out her breath; she was sitting on the wrong side to see what was happening, though she sensed it wasn't going well. Her escorts were doing their job by treating the boy as a potential threat, but she doubted they were making it any easier to get the child to come down and was afraid someone might escalate the situation.

"Quite a to-do over a peasant in a tree." Mr. Salome sniffed. "No reason to delay us."

Elsa narrowed her eyes but held her tongue. Not until everyone else agreed with him — with the exception of Mr. Johansen, who championed the less fortunate at every opportunity — did she feel compelled to speak. "A child in danger is certainly important, even if he isn't the son of some Lord or Baron."

Herr Karlsbaad grunted. "Then leave a man here. We will be off our schedule if we continue to loiter. With respect, Your Majesty." He spoke the last with the barest hint of courtesy, as usual.

"Indeed; there is no need to sit around doing nothing while—" The cracking of wood was clear to everyone, cutting Lord Aife off in mid-complaint.

Elsa, unable to contain her worry any longer, flew out of the carriage. _If he's fallen…_ She darted around the back and found three of her men underneath a leafy tree. Two had their swords out. The boy hadn't fallen, but from her vantage point, he seemed to be in a precarious situation.

The branch he had obviously used to climb up now hung half-broken below him, and there were no other limbs nearby to use instead. After a few nerve-racking seconds, he found his footing and relative safety on the branch he'd originally been on.

"Don't move!" Elsa yelled at him, ignoring her guards' attempts to stop her as she hurried to the tree, trying to maintain some sense of decorum amid her growing concern. "You'll be fine as long as you stay there." The third soldier started to draw his weapon. "Stop it!" She kept her voice low and firm. "You'll scare him. All of you; put your weapons away."

"But, Your Majesty, it might be…"

Elsa narrowed her eyes. "Do you really think I'm the one you need to worry about in this situation? I'm perfectly capable of defending myself." The men hesitated, and Elsa balled her fists. There wasn't time to deal with overly devoted bodyguards.

It only took a second before they realized how cold they were getting, and they all quickly sheathed their swords, gave a quick bow, and strode back to the group assembled in the road.

"I can't get down." It was hard to locate the boy through the foliage, but Elsa realized quickly he was not very old — certainly not old enough to be thirty feet in a tree. He was also scared.

"Say, how did you get into such a position in the first place?" She tried to distract him as she circled beneath him, gauging how best to get him down safely.

There was a sob. "I wanted to see the Queen. Father said I was too little and sent me out to the field, but I really wanted to see her."

Biting her lip, Elsa touched the tree, testing its sturdiness. "And why do you want to see the Queen so badly?" The trunk was solid enough, but she doubted the branches would support much more weight than a young boy's. She glanced back; her companions had gotten out of the carriage and now studied the situation in varying degrees of disinterest. "She's no different from anyone else, you know."

"Kelden said she was beautiful, like a fairy. He said her dresses sparkled, too. Father stopped him before he told me any more about it, and I was curious. How am I going to get down?" He sounded slightly less terrified.

"I'm going to help you." Elsa smiled, slightly amused that he didn't recognize her. "So don't worry, alright?"

The boy made a noise. "Can't one of them do it? Everyone will make fun of me if I have to be helped by a girl."

"Here now! You're speaking to—" The Lieutenant in charge of the detail bristled angrily, but stilled after a dirty look from the Queen.

"Is it really so bad? Nobody can climb up, and you can't jump down."

Silence followed for several seconds. "But boys are supposed to help girls, not the other way around."

Elsa rolled her eyes. _I'd love to change Arendelle's opinion on that antiquated notion._ "Well, how about we strike a deal? I'll help you down and you promise to help others when you can."

"Couldn't you get one of my brothers? The house is just down the road. They'll still laugh but…"

"Young man … Peter, is it? Are you a citizen of Arendelle?" Sounding confused Peter replied he was. "So am I. It's the duty of every citizen to help another if they are in need. You don't want me to have to go back to town saying I had the chance to help someone, and I didn't, do you? Any of your brothers light enough to climb that high won't be old enough for an adult to allow him to risk it."

Another, longer silence followed. "How are you going to help? You look little but you must weigh more than Jorge or Durin. As a boy, I'm supposed to … I don't want you getting hurt … you're a girl, you know."

Elsa couldn't help laughing at his attempted bravado. "Yes, Peter, I'm a girl. Shall I tell you a secret? When we were little, my sister used to climb trees all the time, and she had to be rescued more than she'll admit now. I was usually the one who did it, too. I have a special way of getting you down."

"Don't tell me magic, 'cause everyone knows only the Queen can do magic, and there'd be a lot more soldiers if you were the Queen. Though you're a Lady and I shouldn't be talking to you that way. I'm sorry."

"I forgive you. I doubt many people stuck in a tree would remember their manners." Elsa cleared her throat, debating whether to tell him what she was about to do or let it surprise him. He was still upset enough not to wonder why a mere Lady would be heading to his house on the day the Queen was coming to visit. _It might be best to surprise him so he doesn't get overly excited and careless._ "I'll let you in on another secret. My sister and I were members of a special group as children. It's called the Royal Guard Junior Regiment, and you had to be under ten to belong. How old are you?"

Peter sounded slightly confused. "I'm seven. Are you being serious about that Royal … thing … or just trying to calm down? I mean … girls can't join the Guard, so…"

Elsa realized this was not the first time young Peter found himself higher off the ground than he cared for. "I'm serious. It's not a well-known group, because you have to be very brave to join, and you have to be invited. Boys and girls can join because they can both be brave. Since I'm a member, I can invite you, if you show me how brave you are."

"How do I do that?"

"Bravery isn't always doing the most valiant thing, Peter. Sometimes, it takes more courage to do the right thing. Don't you think the right thing is to let me help you? It would mean you were very brave — since I'm a girl." Elsa chuckled. She recalled hearing words to the same effect — sans the gender reference — from a guard trying to talk Anna down from wherever she'd gotten stuck. It worked then, so she hoped it would work now.

A light shower of leaves and twigs suggested Peter was shifting position. "Does that Royal thing have a badge?"

"Yes, it has a badge. Do we have a deal?"

"Yes." There was a hint of defeat in Peter's voice, but he obviously didn't want to be where he was much longer.

Elsa stepped away, far enough to see what she was doing as a whole but close enough to avoid accidentally cutting into the trunk, and possibly unseating the boy over her head, while she did it. "Hold on tight, and don't let go no matter what, alright, Peter?"

"Okay."

Drawing in a deep breath, Elsa visualized the ice snaking around the trunk, parting branches and clearing obstacles as it moved higher. She heard the murmurs from the two envoys behind her, and pushed them out of her mind and focused. Fifteen seconds later, she exhaled and looked at her handiwork. The slide tilted slightly more than she liked as it spiraled down the tree, but it would be safe enough.

"Alright, Peter, can you reach it?" Dead silence. "Peter?"

"You're the Queen after all, aren't you?"

Chuckles broke out among the men, and the Lieutenant yelled, "That she is! Now, get down here before that thing melts!"

More silence was followed by the rustling of leaves, and finally, a whoop of pleasure that said Peter was enjoying his rescue. Seconds later, a small blond boy jumped off the end of the slide with the biggest grin Elsa had ever seen.

"Don't ask me to do it again, now." Elsa spoke sternly though with a smile.

"I'm sorrrrryyyyy!" The grin vanished and Peter threw himself at her feet, half sobbing. "I'm sorry I said all those things about you being a girl and all, Your Majesty. Please don't be angry with my parents 'cause I made so much trouble for you!"

Elsa blinked several times. "Why would I be? Other than for keeping such a handsome young man as yourself from meeting me. I can't wear my sparkly dresses when I'm on official business, by the way. And I don't really look like a fairy. No wings. I hope you aren't disappointed."

To her surprise, the Grottnian envoy burst into laughter, which he quickly stifled. A glance over her shoulder revealed strange smiles on everyone's face — Lord Aife included.

"Oh, no, Ma'am! I got to see you do magic, and that's even better than wings!" Peter got to his knees. "And you're as pretty as a fairy, anyway." He blushed lightly.

Elsa smiled. "Thank you. You got to see magic, but you were lucky I was here. No more climbing so high, alright? Remember, being brave is doing the right thing."

"Yes, Ma'am! I promise!" Peter rubbed at his knees. "Um … It's not really my place to ask, but … were you really telling the truth about that Royal thing?"

"Every word, Peter. It hasn't been active in a while, so you will be the first new member and that makes it even more special." Elsa's smile grew. She resisted the temptation to kneel and hug the boy. It was odd since she avoided contact unless absolutely necessary, but she still had a strong urge to scoop young Peter up and hold him.

"And you and Princess Anna are members?"

Elsa nodded. "Yes, we are. That means you'll get to meet her as well. Don't take that as a reward for such a dangerous thing as you did, though. Climbing trees is fun; falling out of them isn't."

Peter cocked his head and looked confused for a second before smiling again. "Yes, Ma'am, do the right thing."

"Come on, boy." The Lieutenant knelt by him. "If we deliver you any dirtier, your parents will wonder what we've done to you. Not even the Queen wants to face angry parents, do you, Your Majesty?"

"Certainly not. Now, would you like to ride with the driver? He might even let you hold the reins if you ask nicely." Elsa dusted her dress off, dissolved the slide, and turned back to the rest of her party. "Shall we continue? Peter's father produces the finest wool in Arendelle, and I'm eager for you to see samples of it."

She wouldn't let her own fears show. She was terrified when it was happening that something would go wrong, that the boy would fly off the slide and she wouldn't be able to conjure a snowdrift in time to soften the fall, or that she'd misjudged the clearance and he'd take a branch to the face. Her failure at protecting her sister gnawed at her the entire time and she wasn't going to leave Peter alone, even to get more normal help. Perhaps it's _why_ she couldn't leave him. He was safe now, though, and that's all that mattered.

Elsa kept her pace slow and her shoulders back as she returned to the others. Peter was already up on the driver's bench, giggling with excitement. She smiled at the guards and her companions before calmly getting back into the carriage as if she'd done nothing magical at all. The group reassembled itself and continued on to the farmhouse.

After a minute or so, Herr Karlsbaad cleared his throat. "Quite an … impressive … display, Your Majesty."

"Indeed. I've never seen anything like it." Monsieur Salome looked as if the words pained him. "Your … device … was beautiful as well as functional."

"The Queen's magic is always beautiful," Mr. Johansen replied. "And used for the good of the people."

The Grottnian envoy narrowed his eyes. "It seemed rather different when she —"

"A slight bump," Lord Aife interjected. "No lasting harm resulted. The matter should be considered answered and closed, Gentlemen. With respect, Your Majesty. I had no right to interfere." His smile suggested he expected something for his declaration of support.

Elsa sighed and rubbed her temples. "I understand that Grottony and Farson are concerned with the scope of my powers, but I agree with Lord Aife. So, please, let us focus on the present. You'll find the quality of wool this farm produces to be outstanding and representative of the wool Arendelle exports. "

"Hmph." Herr Karlsbaad snorted, though not violently. He completely ignored her comment, though. "I was almost more surprised by your handling of the boy. The situation might have ended very badly, yet you kept him calm and did your work efficiently."

Monsieur Salome nodded in agreement. "I didn't know you were so good with children, Your Majesty. It gives one pause, considering the reputation you have outside of Arendelle." He coughed. "A reputation that it seems have been wrongly gained."

Elsa merely smiled at him, and the procession reached the farmyard shortly thereafter. Peter's parents already stood in the doorway of their small home; Elsa heard a noise of surprise from his father when he apparently saw his son on the driver's bench. His mother rushed toward them.

Mr. Erdahl came over less worriedly. "What's happened? Peter, what have you done?" He sounded angry, and Elsa didn't want him to think she was unhappy about the child.

Not waiting for the footman she stepped down from the carriage. The Erdahls, now including a girl and three more boys, all froze, with a look of panic on the faces of the older members of the family, clearly not knowing what to attend to first.

"Quite the athlete you have, Mr. Erdahl." Elsa spoke calmly and regally. "I'm thankful for his help or we might have been further delayed." She didn't want to sound as if the rescue were a bother or annoyance. "I will keep you to your word, Peter. You'll have to come with your family to the castle for me to give you your badge. I do believe my sister will be very charmed to meet you."

The tension broke, and Elsa assumed her regal role. She greeted the family and praised their efforts. When she got to Kelden, she couldn't help a slight smirk; she'd seen him staring at her from across the yard. She suspected his mother knew why because she swatted him on the back of the head and spoke strongly to him before he looked away. He was perhaps seventeen, and he blushed deeply before he bowed. _I can just imagine what he planned to say before his father cut him off._

She'd had more than one young man react as he did; at first, it irritated her, but now she accepted that it would happen — ice dress or no. It was still slightly awkward. Elsa didn't think of herself as particularly beautiful, but it seemed she was the only one who held that sentiment.

Even Anna seemed to stop and stare at her from time to time, as she had the night before in the parlor. It was one of the things Elsa struggled with; her magic set her apart, and her crown further removed her from the rest of the world. She remembered Peter saying the young man in front of her called her a fairy.

She was different, not quite human, something mystical to stare at from a distance. She feared being seen as a monster, but being seen as someone ethereal was more real and frustrating. The boy in front of her most certainly held that view.

"I hear I'm a fairy, Kelden. Thank you for the compliment, but as you can see, I'm far from one." Elsa smiled, and the boy turned even redder and started to sputter. "Don't apologize for your opinion. It was sweet of you to say it."

"I think you look like a fairy!" The girl next to him blurted and turned red as well. "You could be hiding your wings."

Elsa stifled the laugh. She didn't like being seen as mythical, but coming from a young girl she couldn't take offense. "I could, but don't you think it would be uncomfortable to fold them up so tightly?"

The girl was perhaps eleven, and she looked at Elsa shyly now, curtsying deeply. "You're still as pretty as one." After a pause, she fidgeted and blushed. "Um, Your Majesty…"

"Did you have another question, Haldis?" Elsa was surprised at how easily she smiled. "I promise, I'm not a fairy, though."

Haldis shifted. "Um … me and Durin" — she pointed to the boy next to her, likely her twin — "missed the skating party 'cause we were sick. Would you maybe make a patch of ice for us to slide on for a bit, please?"

"Haldis!" Mrs. Erdahl seemed horrified. "You can't go asking Her Majesty for things like—"

The smile came easily, now, and Elsa nodded. "I showed Peter my magic, so it wouldn't be fair to not show you, too. Would it?"

The older woman now covering her daughter's mouth with both hands looked even more horrified. "No … Your Majesty … we've caused enough trouble for you today."

"It's incredible, Mother! She's all sparkly and whoosh and—" Peter jumped in before Elsa could answer, and suddenly three children were begging their mother for permission to skate.

Finally, the woman threw her hands up in the air. "Fine! If Her Majesty isn't put out, you can slide around for a while."

Elsa chuckled. "It's no trouble." She directed the children to watch and conjured up a circle of ice about the size of a small pond at the end of the yard, complete with benches.

There was dead silence for several seconds as the entire family — except for Peter, who scampered toward it immediately — stood with their mouths open. Finally, Haldis and her twin shook themselves and ran giggling after him.

"Don't forget skates!" Elsa called at them, moving her fingers again to create three pairs, which adjusted automatically to the size of the foot they were placed on. She then turned to the remaining boys and their mother. "Did you not wish to skate? If you're playing hooky, you might as well play."

"I didn't want to take off." Jorge, the second oldest and about 15, spoke in a strong tone. "I don't want to be stuck here forever, but I have to finish school before I can get any other job and I don't want to miss any of it."

Mrs. Erdahl appeared as if she might faint. "Jorge…"

"Has your learning included how to address your Queen?" Elsa responded instinctively, drawing herself up.

The boy's expression wavered before a hint of fear crept in. "Yes, Ma'am. I'm sorry. I'm really honored you're here. It's just … there has to be more than this rotten farm!"

Elsa considered him for a moment. "Why do you think it's rotten?"

"All we do all day is stare at sheep. Feed sheep. Shear sheep. Over and over." Jorge shifted and glanced at his mother. "What's the point?"

"Then why have I've chosen to bring these men to your farm today, Jorge? I certainly don't think it's a rotten farm — not at all." Elsa caught the discomfort evident in Mrs. Erdahl's eyes and sighed. "Did you know that wool from this farm made both my and Princess Anna's baby blankets? It made my father's, too."

Jorge looked surprised. "It did? Is that true, Mother?"

The older woman nodded. "Aye. And it'll be used to make blankets for Her Majesty's children." She whitened. "When the time comes, of course, Ma'am … I didn't mean to suggest…"

 _Just suggesting I'll have children is frightening?_ Elsa managed to smile. _Not that I expect it to happen._ "I understood what you meant. When the time comes … I would hate to find this farm no longer raising sheep for your family." She paused. "Everyone has a purpose, Jorge, and sometimes they don't find it until they are older. I think you are still searching for yours. Wanting to learn new things is a wonderful passion. If there are ways I can provide those opportunities, I will. Don't discount where you are, though; carrying on a family tradition isn't as horrible as it may sound. After all, I'm doing it."

Jorge broke into laughter, followed by his older brother. "You're not as stiff as everyone says, Your Majesty." Jorge got the words out between laughs. "Or as scary." He went still again and his mother went white.

Elsa smiled. She felt remarkably at ease speaking with the children, even with their blunders. "I'm happy you think so. I don't believe I'm either, and I hope my citizens can feel the same."

There was a space of silence before Jorge, who had been eying the rink the whole time, excused himself and darted toward it. Elsa provided another set of skates and turned to the eldest of the Erdahl boys. "And you? Would you also like to skate?"

"Um … no, Ma'am." Kelden turned red again and studied the ground. "Um … do you … what do you have to do to join the Guard?"

"The Guard?" Elsa blinked. "Won't you take over for your father someday?"

The young man coughed. "Father is in excellent health. You can sign for a limited tour, and I was hoping…" He glanced up, his face still red. "Or-or maybe the army?"

Elsa looked at him with a suspicion at to his motives. "I can't say what the requirements are, Kelden. I will ask Lieutenant Thorsen to speak with you about it if it's something you're really set on doing." She glanced at his mother, who seemed confused and a little nervous. "I would expect your father to be involved in the decision, and your mother as well. You have duties here equally important."

"Still, I want to serve you —" He straightened up and spoke with remarkable resolve. "I want to be of use to you. Your Majesty. Ma'am."

"I appreciate that. If you will excuse me, I must join the others. I will send the Lieutenant directly, Kelden. Mrs. Erdahl, you have fine children. I'm happy to see such spirit."

The older woman curtsied lightly and Kelden bowed. With a final smile, Elsa went to find the man who could answer his questions. Lieutenant Thorsen met her halfway across the yard and bowed shortly.

"Your Majesty, is everything well? You spoke with them for quite some time."

Elsa smiled at him. "It was very educational, Lieutenant. The eldest boy has expressed an interest in the Royal Guard. Would you please go speak with him?" From the corner of her eye, she saw Mrs. Erdahl swat Kelden again, and from his expression he'd been staring again. She shook her head. _If he did that at the castle he'd walk off the bridge the first day._

"Of course, Ma'am." Thorsen paused and then sighed. "You are aware there's no such thing as a Royal Junior Brigade, Ma'am?"

"Oh, yes there is." Elsa chuckled. "It has a badge, too. My sister and I are the only members, but everything I said was true. I think perhaps we should investigate establishing it as a more open program; I see no harm in encouraging our youth to live well, do you?"

"It is an inspired idea, Ma'am. When I was a boy, all I dreamed of was becoming a Guard at the castle. To have been able to join such a group at a young age…"

Elsa nodded. "Well then, I'll have it looked at. Please, speak to the young man and then make sure the horses are watered. I don't wish our intrusion to be too disruptive." The man bowed and moved away, leaving Elsa alone in the yard.

She slowly took in the buildings, the fences, the equipment in the field beyond the house. It was all in good repair; still, she felt she could do more to ensure sure all people in Arendelle prospered by her reign. A priority for her now was to provide boys like Peter and Jorge — and girls such as Haldis as well — with more opportunities to learn and grow as they wished. She needed to do that, and she wanted to do it soon. Such opportunities came with a cost, which she knew, but it still felt important to her. There was much to change about Arendelle to make it as great as she hoped for.

She wouldn't do it by hiding in her rooms and letting her advisers bully her, however. She couldn't worry more about her sister than ensuring a good life for her subjects. _Arendelle comes first. Anna second._ The words made her ache; even if they became more than sisters, she'd be risking her crown with every kiss. They'd be risking Anna's right to succeed her, too.

She'd contend with the struggle between love and crown for the rest of her life unless by some magic she forgot her feelings for — _No. We tried that once and look what happened. Anna must come second. People like Peter and his family come first. They must come first._

She might not be able to erase her feelings for her sister, but she couldn't — she _wouldn't_ — let Arendelle fall apart because she lost herself trying to. She couldn't let her country — the country _she_ was expected to rule — be run by others because she was too afraid to stand up for herself.

Elsa looked around the yard once more. Changing things the nobility wouldn't like, improving life for those not born into comfort; those were challenges she'd face, but ones she was now even more determined to overcome.

 _Arendelle comes first. It must come first. It will come first._

* * *

 **Author Notes:** Once again, thank you **IceWraith** for the help with those pesky errors. Chapter 11 is started, but I can't guarantee a release date.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11.**

Anna was confused. She'd spent the last three hours confused about why she kept staring at her best friend's breasts. They were very nice breasts, but that was no reason to be practically ogling them—a word that kept returning despite Anna's attempts to replace it with something less … discomfiting. It made no sense and made less sense the closer to the Valley they got.

The way Elsa kept popping into her head was getting several degrees past irritating, too. Her sister was one of the reasons she was there, but the thoughts that kept insinuating themselves into her consciousness weren't in the same vein as what she intended to ask about. Far from it—and far less simple. Beside her, Kristoff was unusually quiet, though she wasn't giving him much reason to talk.

Even Olaf was quiet, and so the three hours passed with no distraction to keep Anna's thoughts from running wild between Kristoff, Elsa, and Gudrun—Gudrun's breasts, at any rate. She certainly didn't have those sorts of feelings for her friend and she _absolutely_ didn't have them for her sister. Still, the thoughts persisted. Woven throughout were her worries about Kristoff and the fallout from the kiss she wished she'd never let happen.

By the time they reached the Valley, Anna almost looking forward to the onslaught of clamoring trolls pulling her this way and that. Their greeting, however, left her even more stumped than she had been to start with. It was as exuberant as usual, with a rush to examine Kristoff's gift, but.… That was it, at least where she was concerned.

She couldn't fault their excitement over the sleigh though. It quickly became a scene akin to a rockslide with little ones crawling all over. The cup holder was a big hit. More than one young troll had to be reminded it wasn't to play with.

The older trolls set to examining the workmanship and detailing approvingly. They had no use for such things, but they did enjoy looking at well-made objects, wood especially. This particular object appeared to please them greatly. While many of the trolls chattered about the quality of the sleigh, the majority pressed Kristoff for details of the event.

He patiently explained everything about receiving it, with one big exception. He didn't mention the kiss. Anna noticed that right away, and it only added to her growing confusion. The one thing the "love experts" would be most interested in, the thing Anna was sure he'd reveal, he didn't. It wasn't that she expected a grand announcement, but there wasn't even a hint something had happened between them.

She was prepared for the usual attempts at talking her and Kristoff into marriage—especially since she was the one who gave him the gift. To her surprise, other than making sure he'd thanked her and her sister properly, the trolls were very quiet towards her as a whole. They didn't even ask her to recount her side of the tale which piled confusion on top of confusion.

She was glad she was spared the increasingly frustrating insistence that she sit while Bulda and half the others regaled her with Kristoff's many attributes. She knew his attributes, maybe too well, and had grown weary of their attempts to convince her not only should she marry him, she should do so before leaving the Valley. It was a relief to not be greeted with it, but she felt oddly guilty for welcoming the peace.

But something was off—that was for sure. It was like they already knew about the kiss between her and Kristoff, and that she hated it. Worse, a few trolls kept giving her sideways glances with expressions suggesting they might know more than that. Did they already know that she was there for reasons aside from showing off Kristoff's new sleigh? It was as if they knew the reason better than she did.

 _What if they know I kissed Elsa? No … that's ridiculous! But if they can sense I didn't like it with Kristoff … could they somehow know I loved hers? They are love experts, after all, and they've known things they shouldn't in the past … but that thing with Elsa … that was just the two of us. Wait, can they read minds? I never thought of that … if they can read my thoughts … how am I going to explain something like—_

"Anna." Grand Pabbie's voice pulled Anna out of increasingly worried thoughts. "It's good to see you." His voice was solemn, despite a slight smile. "I'm glad you decided to come with Kristoff."

"Hi!" Anna jumped and smiled back nervously, fidgeting. She'd come primarily to speak with him, but still couldn't sort out exactly what questions to ask—and worried her apprehension would be too obvious. "Why would I miss a chance to see you and Bulda and Cliff and the little ones?"

Grand Pabbie nodded, his stern expression not wavering. "Did you also have questions you seek me to help you with?"

 _He can't read my mind … no, Anna, that's just stupid._ "Well … yes, actually. I'm pretty confused, so I was hoping you could give me some answers."

The elder troll "Hmphed" and gestured toward the side of the grove. "Why don't we take a short walk?"

"Oh. Okay." Anna wasn't sure why she felt so uncomfortable following him, but she did. Her discomfort grew as he led her slightly further into the woods than she'd expected.

When he finally stopped, they were in a small clearing almost out of sight of the group of children still climbing all over their big brother's new sleigh. She could hear Kristoff yelling about scratching the finish, though it was likely a pointless endeavor.

"There is a matter that you need to address." Grand Pabbie stopped suddenly and looked at her sternly. "It is the one you wished to speak to me about, is it not?"

Anna knew exactly what he meant, but didn't expect him to say it the moment they were alone. "About Elsa? Oh, we had tea last night and smoothed things over so I think—"

"You didn't discuss how things went with the sleigh, did you?" Grand Pabbie narrowed his eyes when she tensed and bit her lip, not able to meet his gaze. He sighed. "I sense that you are unsure of what words to use. I sense it leads to another question, as well, but you must make a decision on this first before you can answer the second."

 _How does he learn about things so quickly?_ "What other question? I'm pretty frazzled about the sleigh as it is—I don't want to worry about something else at the same time. It's not that complicated, really … I mean, it's just that I don't know how to tell her." It was the truth, though bent a little, and Anna didn't want to have to elaborate any further.

"Anna, you were in the middle of the town square. Do you honestly think your sister will not be told sooner rather than later? Which is better, telling her yourself or being confronted about hiding it?"

Drawing in a deep breath, Anna nodded. "You're right. But Elsa doesn't seem to like Kristoff very much … I mean, not that she _dislikes_ him … she thinks he's nice and all that … she just always looks like she's forcing a smile when she's around him, y'know? And we are always together lately, so she's a little miffed about that—though I really don't know why; it's not like I'm going to ma—I mean … not that she's miffed at him! Just … well … yeah, she's miffed at him and I'm afraid she'll be really angry about this."

The elder troll scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Don't you think that not telling her would give her reason to take your actions to mean you wish to hide your true relationship with Kristoff? Would you not have been bursting to tell her as soon as possible otherwise? Or is there, perhaps, another reason that adds to your fear she will be angry?"

"What?" Anna stared at him.

"Is there?"

She turned red. "No, of course not!"

"Your failure to tell her might suggest that there is." Grand Pabbie cleared his throat. "If not that, it would certainly seem that you don't hold her in high enough importance to tell her about it."

"She's the most important person in my world!" Anna blew out her breath and rubbed her forehead. "I know, I know. It's just that things have been so tense between us, and the way she seems to feel about me marrying Kristoff … finding out he did something so … um …" she searched for the right word "… intimate … might make her furious. I wanted to find a way to tell her it wasn't his fault."

"Why do you feel that fault should be assigned? I was under the impression that it is perfectly normal for romantically involved couples to kiss."

"It is, but… I don't know how to… It's just that…" She gave up, unable to find a way to express herself without coming out and saying how she actually felt.

"Is it because you do not love him?"

Anna turned red. "Why would you think that? I mean, I am having second thoughts, but I never said I'm not in love with him." _Why do I keep denying it?_

Maybe, Grand Pabbie could, indeed, read her mind. "You aren't being honest; for what reason, I don't know, but you must make the decision to be truthful before you can begin to move forward."

"That hasn't got anything to do with telling Elsa he kissed me." It was a desperate ploy, and she knew it wouldn't work even as she spoke.

Grand Pabbie studied her disapprovingly for several long seconds. "It has everything to do with it. There is one other way your sister could interpret your secrecy. You have said she doesn't like the thought of you marrying Kristoff. She could take it to mean that is your intention, and you wish to do it behind her back."

"But I don't want to marry him!" Anna realized how loud her protest was and cleared her throat. _Woah, where did that come from?_ "It's got nothing to do with any of that. I don't want her to be angry that's all. I don't want to make her angry and I don't want to hurt her."

"Why do you think it would hurt her so terribly?"

Anna started to speak and stopped mid-breath. _Why_ _ **do**_ _I think it would? It's just a kiss. She's got to be expecting it to happen at_ _ **some**_ _point—he is my boyfriend, after all. I mean, I kissed her—and, wow, that felt so much better than kissing him. If was going to do it again, I'd really rather do it with her … Would she even let me do it a second time? Wait, what? Kristoff, I'm supposed to be thinking about Kristoff!_ Swallowing she gave the troll a wan smile. "We're sisters, aren't we? I'm always worried things I do with Kristoff will hurt her—"

"Why? As you say, she is your sister. Your relationship with him is a completely different kind, is it not? Being angry, or hurt … these are feelings a sibling might hold, yes, but the way you talk about _Elsa_ seems more in the realm of—"

"What? No! It's just that we've only been back together a few months, and she might think I don't want to spend time with her, or—" Anna sighed heavily. "She's jealous of him. I spend too much time with him, and I know it. That's the reason she'll get pissed when I tell her. And she'll be hurt I didn't tell her right away. We just started talking again. I don't want to screw that up."

Grand Pabbie shook his head and sighed. "The fact remains, despite all the possible ways she might respond, that if you don't tell her, someone else will and that _will_ hurt more than anything. Don't you agree?"

"I … yes." Dropping her head, Anna blinked away tears. "I know I have to do it, I was just … I was hoping you could tell me how."

"Directly, if you ask my opinion on the matter." The elder troll reached out and touched her hand. "The bond between you and Elsa is strong—stronger than you realize. The only way to truly hurt her is to lie."

Anna looked at him, still sniffling. "What if she gets angry at Kristoff?"

"I think you could calm her fears on that as well, were you to be truthful about it." Grand Pabbie studied her. "You do not love him. You can deny it all you want, but that is the truth."

Anna's eyes widened. "How … Why are you so sure? I said I was confused, not that I didn't—"

"Magic, perhaps. Perhaps merely seeing how you are with him; it matters not. You do not love him. I've known this for some time now. It is pointless for you to continue pretending you do."

Anna blinked several times. "Huh? I only just realized yesterday—"

"Realized, perhaps, but you've known all along." The elderly troll studied her seriously. "There is another in your heart, a True Love you do not recognize. Do not rush so hastily to find what is already there. Kristoff is not the one."

"But … how could I not recognize my True Love? Isn't that supposed to sort of hit you between the eyes?"

Grand Pabbie chuckled deeply. "And yet you thought Kristoff was he." When Anna turned pink, he laughed again. "In a way, young Anna, you are correct. When you do recognize this love, it may very well feel as though you were being 'hit between the eyes,' as you put it."

Anna shifted. "I really did think I was in love with him."

"No, you wanted to be in love with him and so made yourself believe it. There is a love between you that will not end, but it is not the love you were seeking." He looked thoughtful momentarily. "I think that perhaps it was also to keep you from seeing your real True Love for what it is."

"You sound like you know who he is," Anna responded, slightly annoyed.

The troll shrugged as best he could. "You must find it on your own for it to be believed. You can reach out and touch it, but until you see it for what it truly is, what you touch will feel no different."

"Ugh, I hate it when you give me riddles!" Anna made a sweeping gesture with her arms. "And I can't think of anyone I might be in love with if I'm not with Kristoff." Her thoughts turned to Elsa ever so briefly. _I kinda felt different when I kissed her, but that's_ … a strange ache started in her stomach, similar to the ache she'd felt the previous evening; now, as then, she refused to recognize it. _Give it a rest, Anna. You're getting obsessed with that idea. Elsa is the_ _ **last**_ _person I'd …._

"I suspect you will find your answer sooner rather than later." Grand Pabbie stroked his chin and studied her seriously. "You must be open to any possibility, however. Preconceived notions will be your enemy as they will be the enemy of others; this love will require you to fight for it."

Anna tugged on her braids nervously. "I'm kinda tired of fighting, Grand Pabbie. I don't know if I'm up for more."

"You possess more strength than you believe, Anna." The elder troll made a noise and looked past her. "It seems Kristoff has come looking for you."

"Really?" she turned just as the blond stepped into the clearing. "Oh, hey." She hoped her smile was more genuine than it felt.

Kristoff scratched his head and looked between the two. "Did I interrupt?"

Grand Pabbie turned to him. "No. Our conversation is just over now. You go back, Anna. I believe Kristoff has questions for me as well."

"Oh. Um. Okay. Good luck … I mean, have fun … I mean … I'll go play with the little ones." Afraid of what Kristoff's questions were, but not wanting to hear them, she backpedaled and tripped on a root, recovered and darted into the woods. "Some help he was," she muttered as she made her way back to the main clearing. "Am I supposed to go around staring at everyone I know until I feel something? They'd think I was crazy—crazier than they already do."

"Ah, Anna!" Bulda was on her the moment she returned to the grove. "We were just wondering where you were. The little ones are all eager to play with you."

Anna looked at her helplessly for a moment and then sighed. If she didn't focus on it, maybe she'd understand who this mysterious "True Love" was faster. "I'm sure they are." She glanced back at the woods and then allowed Bulda to walk her into the crowd of little trolls all clamoring for the chance to play first. She didn't feel better, but at least she had something to chew on.

* * *

Once Anna was out of sight, Kristoff turned to his grandfather and smiled nervously. "Did you see the sleigh?" The elder troll looked at him silently and Kristoff shifted. "It has a cup holder."

"Yes, I've heard. That was very kind of Anna."

Kristoff coughed. "And Elsa. She gave me a title … Royal Ice Cutter or something. I don't get that, but I suppose she was trying to thank me."

"I've also heard you thanked Anna quite publicly. Do you think that was a wise decision?" Grand Pabbie narrowed his gaze slightly. "Especially considering you've seemed somewhat distracted your last few visits."

Kristoff jumped and looked embarrassed. "No, it wasn't a wise decision at all." He looked at the ground. "You're right about what's going on between me and Anna, and me and my head."

Grand Pabbie smiled slightly. "Perceptive of you to see a difference. I assume your feelings differ between them? Perhaps your mind is trying to tell you something you should heed."

"Yesterday … I really felt we loved each other, enough to kiss her."

"And today?"

Shifting, Kristoff shrugged. "I don't know. I don't know if she's in love with me. It's all knotted up and confusing. Sven thinks I'm an idiot for not seeing the truth, but I don't know what the truth even is."

The elder troll sighed heavily. "Are you certain?"

"If I did, I wouldn't be here. I don't know what I should do, Grand Pabbie." Kristoff ran his hand through his hair, trying to put into words the strange emotions swirling inside.

Grand Pabbie nodded sagely before scratching his chin. "I've noticed that things are different of late," he said in a voice that Kristoff knew meant his awareness of the situation was deeper than simple observations. "Do you have thoughts you are uncertain you should share with her?"

"Well … maybe … um … I'm not really sure." Kristoff paced a few steps and turned back. "I don't know what I should do. She seems like she loves me … most times … she cuddles with me and all that … but then I get this feeling she isn't. Like when she looks at.… The last thing I want to do is hurt her, but… I just don't know."

"What do you think you might do to hurt Anna if you aren't certain she's in love with you?"

Kristoff started to speak and then stopped. "Well, she can be really sensitive and if she _is_ in love and I tell her I'm not sure, she might think it's something she did."

"In love with whom?"

"Huh?" Kristoff stared at him. "Me. Who else could there be?"

The elder troll studied him. "Then you are worried that telling her you don't love her will be painful to her, is that correct?"

"Hey, I never said I didn't love her! Just … not sure." Kristoff looked away.

Grand Pabbie shook his head slightly. "An educated guess. As for what the 'truth' you are seeking is—you have an answer to that already, Kristoff. What is it that you're trying not to think about?"

Kristoff shuffled his feet. "It's just that… I talked to Elsa last night, and she seemed very against us marrying. She also seemed really worried that Anna might get hurt." He paused and drew in a deep breath. Beating around the bush with the elder troll was useless, and he knew it. "I don't want her to freeze me."

Grand Pabbie nodded sagely and stroked his chin again. "Yes, I can see where that would be a concern. Do you really think that she would do such a thing?"

"Um … well, obviously not … probably. I think … I mean, it is a little extreme … but, well … I already have to wear a jacket around her, so … if I hurt Anna … she might … I know what happened to Anna when Elsa lost it."

"I believe that was an accident, was it not? She has certainly grown since then, especially being reunited with her sister." Grand Pabbie studied him. "Telling Anna you don't love her couldn't possibly anger Elsa enough to give back all she's gained."

Kristoff paced back and forth with everything in his mind swirling together. He hoped he could be coherent enough that the elder troll would at least understand some of what he was trying to say. "Anna doesn't see it, but there's something about Elsa that's off. Not off as in bad, I think. Well, maybe bad for me … It's just that she's… Well, she's…" Grand Pabbie raised an eyebrow and motioned for him to continue. "Sven thinks Elsa's in love with Anna."

" _Sven_ thinks this?" Kristoff nodded and his grandfather sighed heavily. "Perhaps you should try to see what he sees before you make up your mind."

"Um … Well ... I can't say for sure he's wrong. She definitely wants more from Anna than being a sister. I'm a little surprised Anna doesn't see it herself." Kristoff blushed slightly. "Maybe she does. I don't know. Sven thinks they're in love with each other, but that's just silly."

After several long seconds the elder troll sighed and shook his head. "Are you certain it isn't that Elsa feels guilty? Perhaps she is trying too hard to make amends with her sister."

"Oh. Well … I hadn't thought about that, actually. Maybe that's part of it, but …." Kristoff trailed off and glanced over at Anna again. There were two little trolls tugging on her braids in an apparent attempt to steal her from one of the adults she was talking to. He sighed. "It's not all of it."

"Either way, you've said little about your feelings for Anna. Are your only concerns about the relationship because of her sister?"

Kristoff blushed. "Of-of course not!" He stammered. "It's just that Elsa has me the most nervous."

"Are you nervous because you still wish to marry Anna despite your assurances to Elsa?"

"How did you—" Kristoff shook his head. His grandfather knew things that there was no way to know. This wasn't the first time. _Anna must have told him._ "I said I had no plans to propose, and that was true. Problem is, I'm not sure she believed me."

Grand Pabbie sighed. "And do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Expect to propose; not right away perhaps, but later? Is your concern about deciding if you love her before you do that—a wise question to ask yourself? If so, that is the question I cannot answer. It is different for everyone." Grand Pabbie looked keenly at him.

Kristoff shifted uncomfortably. "No ... Yes … Um… I don't think I want to marry her. I just don't know why. She's beautiful and funny and she gets my jokes—most of the time. She even talks to Sven sometimes. She's always smiling … it's impossible to be in a bad mood when she's around. And she isn't all clingy like she has to fix everything. She lets me be me."

"Hmm. So far, I see your confusion. She does seem an ideal match for you. Why do you think you aren't in love with her?"

"I don't know if I'm in love, because I don't know what love is." Kristoff paced some more and scratched his head. "That's what I was hoping you could help me with. How are men supposed to feel when they're in love? Angels? Trumpets? Freya knocking them in the head?"

Grand Pabbie burst into laughter. "That is a question you should have asked a long time ago, Kristoff. Unfortunately, it is another I cannot answer—though I've never heard of Freya hitting anyone to give them relationship advice. What is important, is the future; can you see yourself together with Anna happily, in five years, ten, or forty?"

"Well… I can, but… The thing is… Well, about… You know, the other thing."

"Ah. Do you not wish to do that with her? That would indeed raise questions as to your true feelings."

Kristoff rubbed his face wearily. "Ugh. This is so embarrassing. I wish I could figure out that part on my own, without having to talk about it. I can't though. I get… I mean physically, there's no problem there. She's beautiful, and she's really soft and smells good."

"Then why are you asking my advice?"

"It's just that … I mean, I have no problem imagining it, but sometimes when I think about her like that I feel like … like it's wrong somehow. Like … her personality is just so … nice—innocent, maybe? Why do I feel that when most of the time … yeah." Kristoff blushed heavily.

His grandfather blinked several times. "Anna _is_ innocent. I thought it was one of the things you liked about her."

Kristoff growled in frustration. "I know! It is! So why do I sometimes feel like I'm lusting after my sister? It's bad enough that Elsa looks at her like that without me doing it, too." He realized what he'd said and turned even redder. "I didn't mean Elsa wanted to … but sometimes the way they look at each other is kind of … Elsa is definitely possessive. But of course they'd never _actually_ —"

"And you are so certain of this because?"

"They're sisters! I mean, I know they haven't seen each other in forever but they are still sisters. Anna makes that clear all the time—that she thinks of Elsa as her sister." Kristoff rubbed the back of his neck. "So even if Elsa does … well … well, that might be bad for me. Worse, really."

Grand Pabbie studied him with an inscrutable face and was silent for long enough to make Kristoff uncomfortable. Finally, the elder troll turned and looked toward Anna, now being twirled around by several young trolls all vying for her attention. "So your concern about Elsa is that she might be angry for more reasons that being Anna's sister. Is that the case?"

"No! No, of course I didn't—" he cut off when his grandfather gave him the look that told him Grand Pabbie was already aware of the answer. "Okay, that's part of it. I mean, Elsa does try to be nice to me, but I always get the feeling she thinks I'm butting into her relationship with Anna. I don't mean as sisters. I've seen them together, Anna doesn't act with me the way she acts with her, either."

"Perhaps it is simply that they are too naïve to understand their feelings, while innocent to them, appear inappropriate to others. They are both still learning how to live in a world outside the castle gates, and that includes showing affection."

Kristoff sighed and shook his head. "If anything, they don't understand that actions speak louder than words. I'm certainly not going to bring it up, either. I'm just wondering if there's something I'm doing wrong that's keeping me and Anna from getting to that level. That's why I'm not sure this is love. Whatever it is, it kind of hurts to come in second to her sister."

"Trolls—and other beings of magic and nature—have a greater ability to see what is inside people's hearts and minds than they do. You were raised among us, and you have gained some of that skill. You call it a gut feeling, but it is the same. You have always followed this feeling, have you not?"

"Well … yeah, I guess I have." The blond shifted uncomfortably.

The elder troll studied him sternly. "Then why are you not following it now? You are ignoring what your gut is telling you when it comes to Anna. What is it that you don't want to face?"

Kristoff shrugged helplessly. "You talked to her; did she say anything about her feelings?"

"She did, and they are not mine to repeat. This is between you and her. You are also avoiding my question."

"I dunno, I guess … I really don't want to hurt her, and I _don't_ want to get frozen, but … mostly … I'm lonely." It was hard to make the admission, especially to himself, but it was true. "I mean, I have you and everyone else, but … I don't have anyone outside the valley that loves me like you do. I have Sven, but y'know … no matter what everyone says, I do _not_ … um, yeah. No."

Grand Pabbie made a disapproving noise. "And so being lonely has made you believe Anna is in love with you and you are in love with her, when your gut tells you otherwise, is that not true?"

Hanging his head, Kristoff sighed. "Yeah. Maybe I'm just seeing something between her and Elsa because I want an excuse. Though I'm pretty sure there is, whether they realize it or not." He looked up again. "To be honest, I think Anna _does_ know, a little. Maybe that's why I can't see her as my girlfriend … wife … um…"

"Hmm." Grand Pabbie considered him. "You perceive this, when no one else would consider it given they are sisters, but you do not perceive what is inside you?"

Kristoff couldn't look him in the face and shuffled his feet. "It's just hard to believe, especially since Anna … is with me."

His grandfather made a sharp noise. "It seems, Kristoff that the actual question is, what are you truly concerned about? Is it if you are in love with Anna, or if Anna is in love with her sister? If you feel Elsa is the one Anna wishes to be intimate with, I would understand your hesitation to pursue such a relationship with her."

Eyes widening, Kristoff straightened up and started waving his arms. "Woah! Woah! I never said they were really like _that_. Ok, way too close for sisters, but not … I mean …"

"Like what? You have said they seem to be closer than most siblings, and that Anna looks at her sister the way you think she should look at you." His grandfather looked as innocent as a troll could.

"Um. Well. That doesn't mean I think they would…."

"And why not?"

"Well … girls can't… I know how it works, mostly, and girls don't have the right… Well… They can't do that together." Kristoff fought the blush, the blush that grew deeper when he saw the look of amusement Grand Pabbie was giving him.

His grandfather chuckled. "I assure you girls can do that together. There is something else you said earlier—don't you think Anna's repeated denials are a little odd? Especially given the behavior you are telling me of."

"Are you saying they _are_ in love? Grand Pabbie … they're _sisters_. They can't be in love … well, I guess they could be in love, they kinda act like it sometimes … but … they certainly wouldn't do … um …." To his embarrassment, a momentary image flashed in his head of the two doing just that.

Worse, for that split second he _believed_ that Anna belonged in her sister's arms, and no one else's. He coughed and prayed the elder troll couldn't read his thoughts or decipher the sudden flaming of his face.

"Why? True, there are a multitude of reasons that such close relationships shouldn't happen, and in general I would never condone one." The elder troll walked a few feet and studied the forest for several seconds. "In the case of Anna and Elsa, however, there are other considerations to account for."

"Huh?"

Grand Pabbie looked back at him. "I'm not saying that they would act on their feelings, or that they will ever even realize them. As you say, it is against the generally accepted moral code. I'm saying that should it happen, I can only imagine there are greater reasons for it than love."

Kristoff scratched his head. "Well, I suppose, but…."

"You already know what I'm telling you, Kristoff. I believe you sense that your role in Anna's life will be important, but different from what you wish for. What that role is, I cannot say."

"I just don't want to be alone anymore," Kristoff muttered, looking at the ground.

"You will know soon enough who your True Love is." Grand Pabbie looked at him sympathetically. "It is one of those things that you cannot understand until you find. This will happen for you very soon, I believe. Whether it be Anna, or not, knowing will put your mind at ease."

With a heavy sigh, Kristoff nodded, and then looked up at his grandfather. "Anna _will_ be okay, won't she? Whatever happens … I mean, I do love her, even if I'm not the one for her."

Grand Pabbie smiled gently. "Anna will be fine. I hope you never lose that desire to protect her; she may need it in the future. Also, as much as Elsa seems to dislike you, she does consider you the best guard Anna might have."

"She does? How do you know that?" Kristoff looked at Grand Pabbie in confusion. The troll shrugged and Kristoff blew out his breath. "Well, as long as Anna's happy…"

"She will be, Kristoff, and so will you." He paused. "Would you ask Anna to come back, please? I've something else to discuss with her that shouldn't wait."

Kristoff nodded and headed back to the grove the trolls called home with a strange feeling that whatever Grand Pabbie said, Anna would come back changed. Changed how was the question, and he wasn't entirely certain he wanted to know the answer.

* * *

Anna came into the clearing a little nervous. Grand Pabbie usually said what he had to say and was done with it, so being called back was a bit unnerving. The elder troll was looking in the other direction, so she took a moment to breathe before speaking.

"Did you want to see me again, Grand Pabbie?"

Grand Pabbie turned to her with a slightly concerned expression. "I have been thinking about our conversation, and there are important things I wish to add."

"Did Kristoff say something?" Anna glanced at the grove and the broad blond talking to his mother. "I'd like to know what's going on in his head, that's for sure."

"He asked the same question, and I will give you the same answer; that is between you and him. I will give you advice, but I will not meddle that deeply." The troll paused, still looking concerned. "Is there anything you didn't bring up to me, thoughts or worries?"

Puzzled, Anna shook her head. "I'm pretty sure we covered it. I mean … unless you have some solution to how I should handle Kristoff…."

"And your sister?"

Anna was silent for a long moment, fighting the wish to pretend that matter was settled. "What about her?" she finally squeaked.

"Are you at all confused about your relationship with her? Perhaps the reason she has been distant." Grand Pabbie was looking at her intently. "Or the reason you don't want to hurt her."

"Huh? That's all about Kristoff. Well, the distant part isn't completely because of him, but … I wasn't involved in that, so I don't have to worry about it. I mean, I worry about it, it's just not anything I did, so I don't have to dwell on it."

"Anna, there are things in this world that exist without being named. This does not make them any less real, or important. I believe what you're facing is one of these things."

"What do you mean? I'm just confused about how to tell Kristoff that I…" She looked away, feeling the elder troll's gaze upon her.

Grand Pabbie was silent; his gaze never wavered, and Anna started to feel very uncomfortable. Finally he sighed and shook his head. "You know your feelings for him and you know that you must tell him what they are. The question in your mind is why. Is it not?"

Slowly, Anna nodded. "He's everything a girl could ask for—other than the reindeer smell, and I'm used to that by now. Why haven't I fallen in love with him?"

"Have you considered that the reason may lie beyond Kristoff himself?" The troll made a vague gesture. "Love is something that often does not follow the rules, at least not the rules that humans try to place on it. That makes it difficult to recognize that it has happened to you."

"What do you mean? Something has happened to me?" Anna frowned. "What kind of thing?"

Grand Pabbie sighed. "There is something within you trying to escape; you are fighting this thing with all your might, but for what reason?"

"I don't understand."

"It would be easier to show you than to explain it." The troll made a slight gesture, and the air began to sparkle with tiny crystals of what Anna thought was ice. "If you will allow me, I can give you the chance to discover your true path."

Anna blinked several times. "A vision?" Grand Pabbie nodded. "Well … I suppose … um, should I sit down?"

The elder troll chuckled. "That would probably be best."

"O-ok." She was filled with half-excitement, half-dread at what was about to happen. He wouldn't hurt her, that she knew. But what would be involved in a vision … that was foreign. She drew in a deep breath and waited.

She had seen Grand Pabbie do many mystical things, but nothing like what she was seeing now. The air sparkled even more and then condensed around her into misty forms and settings. She was still in the grove, but elsewhere at the same time.

Gradually, she felt transported to another place, but a place without time, existing yet not existing, real but imaginary.

It was somewhere she knew though she knew she was not there. Yet she was. Would be? Could be? Her puzzled thoughts faded as the images, though still indistinct, began to make sense in her mind.

Forms, shapes, and thoughts all began to coalesce within her. Still, she couldn't fully understand them. They came within her grasp only to dance away when she tried to capture them.

She felt warm, loved, and found herself with another person. It was not Kristoff; it didn't seem large enough to be any man, not even Hans. Even so, she was drawn in, wanting nothing more than to discover who the form was, almost desperate to touch their skin.

Her fingers were resting on soft cheeks, high cheekbones distinct even though she couldn't see them. She still knew they were there. The warmth surrounding her thickened, wrapping her in a soft blanket where she wanted to stay forever. Belonging … was it her own bed? No, she sensed it was another's, but hers at the same time.

Ours? No, not yet.

"Soon, Anna, soon." Was it her own voice? She thought not, but though familiar, she couldn't decide who else it could be. Wanting to reach that "soon," she began to move her hands, drifting across this body she could almost make out, but was yet too misty to see.

She _could_ feel, and she did, tracing features—the line of a jaw, a small nose, soft lips, the long curve of a slender throat, and finally down shoulders to the curve of a breast. Her heart began to thud heavily as she traced the rise of the supple mound, wanting to memorize everything about it.

She needed this … the warmth, the sense of longing for—and belonging to—the form underneath her … she hungered for it as she'd never hungered before.

Her breath caught as her fingers found a hardened peak rising from skin too soft to belong to a man. The images were still indistinct, but she didn't need to see to realize that the body she was touching, eagerly exploring, was that of a woman.

 **Author Notes:** Things are starting to fall into place for Anna and Elsa. Kristoff still has a part to play, but his story will be fading until later.

I am well into Chapter 12, but I am participating in NaNoWriMo with a novel I will be finishing for publication. Alas, I have to write for pay to if I want to write for play. I will try to get the next chapter out soon but no guarantees. I'm also throwing together a blog, though if it will go anywhere is anybody's guess.

What follows may offend some people, but frankly, I don't care.

I am new to serial writing. My plotting methods are ones I use in my novels, and tend to be complex. I'm working to learn how to properly plot for serial release, but Crocus is plotted as a novel, and has multiple storylines planned. It is primarily an ElsAnna romance, but there is a lot more going on around the sisters that will have an impact on their relationship.

The story of the romance involves a great deal more than getting the pair into bed. I offer two words for those who think my writing is scattered or needs to focus on only the romance: **Chekov's Gun**. Nothing I write is a frivolous aside. I am not a teenager writing for the first time. I know exactly what I'm doing and if my writing style bothers you, go elsewhere. If you want a plot only involving sex, this is not the story for you. End of discussion.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12.**

A woman. Anna could barely process the words, nor their meaning. A woman, like her. Like Gudrun. Like Astrid. A woman—soft, gentle, chest heaving under her hands. _Like Elsa._

Her hands; they rested on the slopes of breasts she ached to taste. Her fingers brushed hardened points, wanting to bring the form beneath her to greater pleasure.

She thought she should pull away, but the vision wrapped around her and kept her in place. She continued to explore, now hearing ragged breaths and gasps as her fingers trailed over the curves of this form beneath her; breasts, waist, hips.

Her own breath came short. She wasn't sure she'd ever been so eager to touch another, wanted with such passion to know every inch of a body not her own. It was more than arousal, though that was present, hovering like an avalanche waiting to engulf her with the slightest touch. It was far deeper than the hunger rising in her stomach.

It was a sense of peace, of belonging. This was what she was meant to find. The sensation of the body under her, knowing what she would find as her hands trailed up the insides of quivering thighs. When she found it, she groaned in tandem with the form beneath her.

White-blonde hair, blue eyes, hands touching her face and a soft, familiar voice whispering her name as she did to the other what she did to herself. A name, a face, drifted toward her as the other began to grip her arms, lifting against her hand. She felt joy, purpose. She belonged here, touching this warmth, kissing these lips, feeling the shudders of the form as it reached its peak.

A name whispering through the mist, a familiar voice crying out in pleasure—gone when she tried to grasp it. This is what she wanted. A woman. Herself in another, the touch of soft fingers and the kiss of gentle, red lips.

"Anna…"

Suddenly, everything shifted. She felt arms around her; strong arms held her against a broad chest. Rough lips pressed to hers in a kiss that was gentle, but wrong. It felt wrong. It was all wrong. She wanted to feel for this form what she felt for the woman, but she didn't—she couldn't. She pulled away, and the man reluctantly let her go. A deep voice spoke words of love that should draw her in again, but instead she stepped further away.

She didn't want to hear those words from him, but from the mouth of the woman she'd left. She wanted to feel that woman's soft, eager lips against hers, not the rough kisses this man offered. He meant no harm, but she couldn't find it within herself to return to him.

She needed the warmth of white-blond hair, the peacefulness and sense of belonging the woman gave her. Becoming one with the softness of her skin, drawing in the shudders of a body undone by her touch, hearing that voice crying her name, and curling into the gentle arms seeking to embrace her.

Where should she be? Both forms proclaimed love for her, both were gentle in spirit, but they were different in body. She struggled to choose, even as she knew there was only one choice for her to make. She wanted the warmth and belonging to the woman, to hear her whisper so softly, "Anna…"

The woman welcomed her back, drawing her into an embrace so comforting Anna didn't want to leave, ever. She could feel the other's heartbeat, the softness of skin against her own. She felt complete; this other was the True Love she sought, this was where she wanted to be, in her sister's arms, forever.

 _Sister? No, that isn't right._ Yet, it was; Elsa's voice whispering in her ear, Elsa's lips touching hers—Elsa's fingers sliding down her body—

"Anna."

Anna shook her head, unsure where the voice was coming from. It wasn't the room she shared with Elsa, this warmth, this happiness. The room was fading; gradually, she felt the sense of moving without moving that transported her to the misty realm in the beginning.

Now, it was taking her away. It was taking her away from the woman she needed like air, away from the softness, the pleasure. She didn't want to go, but knew that she had no choice. It was all a dream in the end, no matter how much she wanted to stay with her sister, in the room that was theirs but not hers. _Not yet, but soon._

"Anna."

The voice penetrated Anna's haze, and she began to remember where she was. She was in the Valley, among the trees and the rocks. There was no woman, there was only Grand Pabbie.

It took several long seconds more until she finally came to her senses and then she could only stare Grand Pabbie in shock. _I can't have seen what I just saw. I can't have just seen me with her like…_ Her heart started to thud erratically and her breath came short. She stared at the ground, worried that the troll might read the truth in her eyes.

"Is there something wrong, Anna?" Grand Pabbie asked in a concerned voice.

Anna stared at him again. "Is there something wrong? Of _course_ there's something wrong!" Memories surfaced, but they seemed far away, not from moments ago, but from years, or decades, or lifetimes. Still, she knew what happened. _I was with … no, that can't be right._ "Why did you show me that? Why did you show me with Elsa…? With Elsa—" She looked away, unable to say the words aloud.

"I showed you nothing," Grand Pabbie replied calmly. "I only allowed you to see what was already in your heart. I know not what you saw, I can only see the result on your face. I see that you are shaken and upset. Why?"

" _Why?_ " Anna exclaimed, growing angry; angry at herself for imagining what she did, and angrier at Grand Pabbie for causing her to see it. _I should never have agreed to this in the first place._ "How can you not know what you showed me? There's no way what I saw was in my heart! No way that I would ever imagine myself with Elsa—" she cut herself off again, still unable to speak the words that would make what she had seen real. She wouldn't let that happen—she _couldn't_ let that happen; not and keep her sanity.

The Elder troll stroked his chin. "There are many things we hold in our hearts that we don't wish to examine. In what way did you see yourself with your sister? I can only imagine it was with desire in some form. That is the nature of visions such as this."

Anna put her head in her hands. _I can't want that. I can't want to be with Elsa like that. It was Elsa, wasn't it? Yes, it was … it had to be; the color of her hair, her eyes, her voice—but that's not possible._ "I do _not_ want to be with Elsa like that," she whispered, knowing that Grand Pabbie could hear her but unwilling to state the facts clearly.

"In what way do you mean, Anna?" Grand Pabbie's face showed that he was genuinely confused, the only thing that kept Anna from screaming at him.

"How do you _think_ I mean?" She couldn't keep the anger out of her voice. "She was _naked_! The only person I've ever seen naked was Gudrun—and I certainly don't want to do that with _her_!" She didn't want to say the word, but she could tell Grand Pabbie wouldn't accept anything less. "Just because I can't see Kristoff like that, doesn't mean…" she looked away.

"So you were with someone in your vision," Grand Pabbie said quietly. "In some way you believe it to be your sister, do you not? This is what your heart is telling you; whether that be in a literal sense or meant to guide you abstractly, I cannot say."

 _Not literally?_ Anna blinked a few times. _I never did actually see her face, did I?_ "So, you're saying I could've just thought that's who it was?"

"It's possible, though I must say unlikely. You were very certain moments ago."

"But … I …" Anna tried to draw up the form she'd touched so intimately. "Wait, what? It was a woman … why was it a woman in the first place?" She bounced her knees nervously. That hadn't processed until now. "I mean, I don't like women that way, so the whole thing makes no sense from the start."

The Elder troll looked at her. "Anna." His voice echoed the stern set of his face and she dropped her head.

"Ok, so maybe the thought has crossed my mind once or twice, but that hardly means I want—oh." The end of the vision rose again. "What was that about?" she muttered. Grand Pabbie coughed and Anna smiled weakly. "There might have been a part about Kristoff."

"So, you considered him; this shows you do feel love for him, I would think. I sense it isn't the love you wanted to see, however. Do you not understand better where your path lies?"

"No!" Anna felt panic growing. "I don't understand anything! I could never be with… Not with a woman at all! Not like that. It isn't… It isn't right. It isn't possible!" She felt the Elder troll's eyes hot on her. "I mean, okay, so I'm not in love with Kristoff. I already knew that, I just didn't understand why. It doesn't mean I want to fall in love with a…" Her companion gazed at her silently. "With a woman." Anna whispered the last. "It's not right. Women can't—"

"Fall in love with each other? And why is that?"

"Because—because it's not…" Anna turned bright red, more memories solidifying her head. "I've never felt that for one before." Again, her voice was barely more than a whisper.

Grand Pabbie walked toward her, stopping just shy of close enough to take her hand. His eyes were sympathetic. "Deep in your thoughts, you've never once felt something that told you this was true … though I am certain you pushed it away?"

"No, of course not!" Other than the first time she saw Gudrun naked and her heart stopped while she tried to process why her friend looked so damned hot. _That was only once though…. Well, then there was the Jaarl of Norstaad's daughter, but everyone was falling over their feet with her. I mean, I think even Elsa took a second look, and she never notices other people._

"You just said it had crossed your mind, did you not? None of those moments were more than a thought?"

It had occurred to her, but not when she was thinking about anyone specific. Moments drifted upward from her memory to contradict her, confusing moments when she didn't understand her reactions to men, when she'd happened to notice an attractive woman in the background…. "Wait, what? No, those don't mean anything! I didn't actually want to… especially with Elsa!"

"Want to what?"

Anna tried to remember what she'd just seen. The details were quickly fading, but the feeling of warmth and happiness, like she'd come home, with another woman, lingered. Even when the man tried to pull her away, she only wanted to go back to … _was it Elsa? I don't remember._ "So I'm more comfortable with women. That doesn't mean I want to fall in love or have s-s-sex with one." The mists of memory that rose in her mind once more made her words ring hollow, but she refused to believe they meant what they looked like.

Grand Pabbie studied her. "Do you feel that's what your heart is telling you? It seems you are fighting strongly against something you already know you cannot defeat. It is unlike you."

Anna buried her face in her hands, confusion nearly overwhelming her ability to form words. "Women can't fall in love with each other. They can't be with each other … not the way…" The words felt as empty as they had when she spoke them to Olaf earlier. _It can't be true._ "Grand Pabbie, what do I do? All I wanted to know was why I wasn't in love with Kristoff—I didn't want to know something like this."

The elder troll coughed. "Are they not one and the same?"

Anna tried not to cry. "They shouldn't be. It should be because his feet are too big, or I don't like the way he holds a fork. It shouldn't be because I'd rather…"

With a sigh, Grand Pabbie shook his head. "I only showed you what was in your heart. If you are certain that this was wrong, then perhaps you should try to understand why you saw it. Perhaps it means something other than what it appears."

"That's it! It means something else, it has to!" Anna jumped up and clapped her hands together. "It certainly doesn't mean that I want to be with Elsa—" _In what I saw … was that woman's hair blonde? No … why can't I remember? She was soft and warm, I remember that, but …._

"And what do you think that might be?"

With a sigh, Anna rubbed her face. "I don't know, but it can't be about Elsa. Maybe it's just supposed to be that I'm not in love with Kristoff." Her eyes widened; she'd been comparing her sister to Kristoff for too long. _I'm not doing that because I really love … am I? No, that's ridiculous._ Grand Pabbie had a slightly questioning look on his face, so she laughed nervously. "I've been too upset over what was wrong with Elsa. She's gotten all tangled up in everything now—even things like this, where she certainly doesn't belong. That's got to be what's behind what I saw. Can't you show it to me again?"

"You would only see the same thing." Now Grand Pabbie did reach out and take the Princess's hand. "There is a difference between imagining something and doing it, Anna. Certainly you already know that. It is not my place to comment on the views of humans regarding love, but I assure you that yours is not the only one. Even your sister may see things differently, were you to ask her."

"Elsa?" Despite her confusion, Anna laughed. "I'm not sure Elsa knows what love _is_ in a romantic sense. I know that she has a hard time understanding me and Kristoff. It's not like she grew up reading novels or seeing it in real life. I feel sort of bad for her, but she can't possibly think any differently than I do."

The Elder troll sighed. "It rarely ends well when you assume things about others." He rubbed his forehead wearily. "I do not know what you saw, Anna. I only know that when you came back you were certain that who you'd seen was indeed Elsa. You were also certain that you were meant to take it as it was, but—"

"I'm not sure!" Anna interjected. "I mean … ok, it was a woman. A really warm … but I don't think it was Elsa … it couldn't be, could it? That's just weird. Yeah, she's absolutely gorgeous … and her smile is just … well, then there's the way her hips move in those sparkly dresses…" she paused to draw in a breath. "I wonder why she stopped wearing those? It's not that she doesn't look good in what she wears now, it's just … she really liked those. And they showed off her breasts like … wow! Who wouldn't stare? I mean, anyone who doesn't fall head over heels instantly has to be blind!"

"Did you?"

"Did I what?" Anna drew her brows together in confusion.

Grand Pabbie studied her evenly. "Fall head over heels instantly?"

Anna stared at him. "With Elsa? Of course not! Yeah, I love her—she's my sister. I'm not _in_ love with her. For one thing, it's incest, and people really wouldn't approve of … it's wrong."

"Hmm." Her companion rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "So it is your relationship as siblings that keeps you from considering she may be your True Love?"

"What? No! I mean, yeah, that would be a big problem, but that isn't … She's a woman, and women don't…." For some reason, when she thought about it, it didn't seem like being sisters would matter—if she really was in love with Elsa— _which I'm not_.

Sighing, Grand Pabbie studied her. "Very well, you may now believe it was not your sister, but can you deny it was a woman? It is becoming clear you wish to interpret this vision only in a way that makes you comfortable. I am not a mind reader; my advice is limited in this. You have seen what is in your heart. It is up to you when to accept it; if not now, eventually you will have to, or you will live a life of unhappiness."

It was the closest the Elder troll had ever come to a dire warning about her, and it made her nervous. Almost as nervous as what bits of memory she could draw did. It was definitely a woman, and they were definitely together in a way that two women shouldn't be.

 _But that's impossible. It must mean something else; there must be something that I'm supposed to find to help me understand why I don't love Kristoff way I should._ There had to something to help her understand—without suggesting that she wasn't interested in men altogether. And especially not that she wanted to be with her sister. _Even though I thought of Elsa that way before. But that was just confusion, it didn't mean anything. I recognized the woman's voice but who … no, it wasn't Elsa. It couldn't be._

Grand Pabbie was studying her steadily, and she couldn't keep his gaze. "That sounds awfully doom and gloom coming from you, Grand Pabbie. I know I should listen, but everything inside me was telling me you're wrong—I'm wrong—what I saw was wrong… What I need is… It's not that I'm fighting myself… It's just that what you said is really out there. I mean, to women being together is just… That's just crazy talk…"

"And yet, you could see it a few moments ago. You have an answer, you just don't want to face it."

It wasn't like Grand Pabbie to be so blunt and Anna hesitated. "It's not like I'm saying it's completely impossible, I'm just saying that makes absolutely no sense." She was getting desperate. "I mean, Arendelle is full of handsome men; why would any woman want to look at another woman instead? It's not that I think someone who would do that is, you know, disgusting or anything, I just don't understand it. How do I possibly want to be with a woman instead of a man? Really, it makes no sense! If anyone was going to be like that, it would be Elsa—whoa! I didn't mean—!" Anna stopped and turned red. "I really, really didn't mean it like that."

"You didn't mean it like what?" Grand Pabbie looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

Anna avoided looking at him. "I hadn't it considered before, but it's true when you think about it. That she might prefer … she pays absolutely no attention to men, even the really, really, gorgeous ones. Of course, she doesn't pay any attention to women either."

"And women pay attention to her?" Grand Pabbie's voice was innocent. "You don't think that's inappropriate?"

"I've seen a few," Anna admitted her blush deepening. "Some of them are pretty obvious about it. It steams me when they try to snuggle up to her, thinking they can just because they're women. Elsa gets annoyed too, but she's subtle about saying so. If a man goes too far, she simply freezes his…"

The troll looked at her with an expression that suggested she had just said something very important and didn't realize it. "It upsets you? Why? It seems that it's Elsa's business whether she wants someone close to her or not. Could it be that you're jealous?"

"Of course I'm jealous!" Anna threw up her arms. "I have a hard time getting her to spend time with me as it is; I don't want some foreigner to steal her from me—" she looked away. "You're right, it really is her business. It doesn't mean anything anyway—and it has nothing to do with this!"

"Anna, there are things in this world that we find it hard to understand. Many things, we don't want to understand. It's human nature to push away things that upset them. That doesn't make those things less real."

Anna rubbed her face and then tugged on her braids. "Grand Pabbie… I was with a woman. There's no way I can possibly want that, no matter how deep in my heart it may be. I'm the boy-crazy one, remember? I notice every cute guy I pass. I mean, yeah, it annoys Kristoff sometimes… But I still do it."

"So you find men cute in passing? Cute is not a word usually used to describe sexual interest." Grand Pabbie studied her seriously. "I have no doubt that you find men cute; you've been told your entire life that you should. Perhaps you even find them to be attractive. Have you ever considered being intimate with one?"

Anna turned bright red and started to sputter. "Grand Pabbie!" she finally managed to choke out. "That's not the kind of question—"

The Elder troll held up his hand and stopped her before chuckling. "If I understand what you're saying about your vision, it is exactly the sort of question you should be considering."

"I never said I was being _intimate_ with this woman!" She hadn't been, had she? She knew that she had touched the woman's skin, but that was all, wasn't it? She tried to remember; the details of the vision were starting to dim. "And it's still not the sort of question you should ask a girl."

"I can tell you are pushing what you saw further and further away. Trying to understand it now would be fruitless." Grand Pabbie sighed heavily. "It will come to you; I can only ask that you accept it when it does. True Love doesn't always appear in a flourish of rose petals. It can be as simple as opening your eyes one day and seeing someone in a different light."

Anna dropped her head, relieved that he'd stopped trying to suggest what he was suggesting. "Yeah. I'm the one who asked, I guess. It isn't your fault I'm all screwed up about Kristoff. Sorry I snapped. It's just … too much. I can't handle it all."

"It may take time, I think, and come to you slowly, if you will let it. The harder you push it away, the harder it will push back, however."

Only able to nod, Anna left, feeling the Elder troll's eyes burning into her back. It was too much—way too much. The idea that she _was_ attracted to women refused to fade, just as the feeling of warmth and pleasure from her vision lingered despite the details growing dim.

 _What if I am? What does that even mean?_ What was worse, her sister kept getting tangled up in it. Anna stumbled away from the clearing possibly more confused than she'd ever been in her entire life. She didn't love Kristoff, but who did she love—or did she even know what love was? And why … why did she keep coming back to Elsa when she grasped for answers?

She was in a daze by the time she reached Kristoff, who was trying to convince one of the smaller trolls that there was no time for a ride. He seemed to be somewhat distracted as well and only lifted his hand in slight recognition when she started toward him. Olaf appeared just as energetic as he was when they arrived, still showing the littlest trolls how the whirligig worked. He didn't seem to want to join them at the sleigh, Anna wasn't quite ready to call him, anyway.

Kristoff saw the look on Anna's face with some confusion. She appeared baffled when he saw her as he came to talk to Grand Pabbie, but now she was practically stumbling with distraction. Whatever happened, it shook her to the core. _He_ was in some turmoil, despite knowing what he had to do and that he had to do it soon, but Anna looked like she couldn't tell him her name if he asked her.

"Kristoff! Yeah … Kristoff, um, hi! Um… Are you ready to go?" Anna could think of only one thing—getting as far away from the valley and what she had seen there as she could. She couldn't remember the details, but she didn't want to. She just wanted to get away.

"Well, almost," Kristoff scratched his head. "I still have to talk to Dad about something he wanted me to do in town, that will only take a few minutes. Are you okay?"

Anna looked at him. He was there, he was real. He was what she should have seen, or someone like him. At this point, she would almost rather give Hans another chance than to deal with what she was pushing as far away as she could. After several moments, she shook herself and nodded. "Grand Pabbie just gave me a lot to think about, that's all. You go ahead and I'll say goodbye to Bulda."

"Okay. Give me about ten minutes. If you finish first, try to corral Olaf. He really doesn't want to leave. I'm tempted to let him stay, but I don't know if Mom and Dad want that much excitement." He started off, glancing over his shoulder as he did. Something was wrong. He could see it on Anna's face and hear it in her strained voice.

 _If she wants to tell me, she will. Grand Pabbie says I should go with my gut, and right now my gut is telling me we're going to be discussing the same thing when we get to it._ Uncertain whether that was a good thing, or a bad thing, he sighed and headed off to find the troll he called father.

Anna watched him walk off, trying desperately to bring back the thought that he was cute, that she loved him. It was there, but vague as though it had been a dozen years since she last felt the emotions she thought were True Love. Equally vague were the memories of what she'd seen in the vision Grand Pabbie conjured up only a few minutes earlier.

It seemed that the harder she tried to grasp the meaning what happened, the more it faded into the mist. She knew she felt warmth; warmth and tenderness, a sense of belonging—and also a deep hunger for a form she recognized but couldn't name. Earlier, she'd been so sure … _That's ridiculous and even Grand Pabbie said it could just represent something, not really mean I want to … with Elsa …_ The one thing she knew for certain was that the body she touched was a woman. It was the last that kept her trembling with uncertainty.

 _Why would I imagine that?_ Anna stared at the ground, trying with all her might to find something—anything—in her memories that said she was wrong. _It has to mean something else. A metaphor. Something._ "And I knew who it was … didn't I? Right after, I'm sure I knew her name. Why? There's no one I would ever imagine like that." _Except Elsa._

"No! No way, no how." She shook her head hard. She'd already imagined Elsa as a lover once, and it was as ridiculous now as it was then. Ridiculous and wrong on too many levels to count. It was only because she had no one else to compare Kristoff to.

But that didn't matter anymore. Anna knew one thing for certain; she wasn't in love with Kristoff. She loved him deeply, but he was not her True Love. _Grand Pabbie said I already knew. Who could it be?_ She knew more than one man she'd met in Arendelle who would like to replace Kristoff, and she found none of them attractive. _Was I even attracted to Hans?_ He was handsome, but she was so desperate and stupid that she didn't bother to ask herself the question.

Anna started towards the circle of small rocks that were not trolls and used for seats as rocks often were. Bulda was usually here, tending to some business of the clan or other. To her relieve, the troll matron was toward the far side, talking with one of the other adults.

Bulda looked around and saw her and said something to her companion before starting toward Anna with a slight smile.

"We're so glad that you could come with Kristoff, dear. Cliff is excited for him to pick up something in town; he won't tell me what, so I think it's a present. Isn't that sweet of him?"

"Yes, it is," Anna replied with a wan smile. In the time she'd spent among the trolls, she'd grown very fond of Bulda. "I just wanted to say goodbye since I don't know when I'll be able to get back up here." _As in, I don't know that I'll ever make it back up here._

The troll matron studied her silently for a moment and then nodded knowingly. "I would certainly have been sad to miss saying goodbye." She paused. "It appears you have plenty to think about on the way home."

 _That's an understatement._ "Yes, Grand Pabbie had a lot to tell me."

"Did he? You have the aura of magic around you; did he give you a vision?" Bulda's expression said she already knew the answer.

"Um … yeah." Anna shifted uncomfortably, sure her companion was going to start questioning her about what happened. "It was … it wasn't what I expected."

The troll nodded. "Visions often surprise us. There wouldn't be much point in having one otherwise, don't you agree?"

The Princess closed her eyes. "I suppose you're right. It's not—"

"Don't worry about questions, dear!" Bulda clucked her tongue. "It would be rude of me to pry. Vision's magic a very personal thing. I just hope it was helpful to your situation."

"Situation?" Anna looked at her in confusion. She'd thought it before, but now it sounded like the trolls definitely knew more than they let on.

Bulda smiled at her. "We're love experts, dear; we sense when things aren't going well. Generally, everyone would be clamoring to help, but Grand Pabbie and I decided it would be best if you and Kristoff were left alone."

"That explains a lot," Anna muttered. "It isn't that we're having trouble, it's just … that …" she trailed off when Bulda gave her a stern, knowing look. "Ok, so things are a little awkward right now. I'm all talked out about it."

"I imagine you are." The troll matron's smile didn't change. "You also have the aura of someone who feels more confused than when they started." Anna reddened slightly and Bulda smiled softly. "It's not uncommon, you know. Love is the most—"

"Anna!" Kristoff waved his arms as he strode over, interrupting his mother before Anna could.

Bulda frowned at him. "Kristoff! We were in the middle of a conversation."

"Sorry, Mom; Dad says it's going to rain later and we need to get a head start if we want to stop at the spa before getting home."

He shot Anna a look suggesting another reason, but she was grateful for anything that kept Bulda from wandering off on a tangent about True Love's vagaries. She responded with a slight smile, hoping her exhale wasn't overly obvious. "I'll try to round up Olaf, then. Don't worry, Bulda," she added. "I have plenty to chew on."

"Of course." Bulda returned the smile though she seemed to know something was up beyond the weather. She then pulled her eyebrows together. "The spa? Have you taken an interest in your skin, finally, Kristoff? I've noticed you smell less like reindeer of late—"

"No! I mean, that's not the reason." Kristoff cleared his throat, embarrassed that his mother brought it up. "Anna's just getting something for Elsa."

Bulda turned a raised eyebrow to Anna. "A gift?"

"Well … sort of." Anna shifted nervously. "Something happened yesterday, and we were passing by the spa this morning, so … not that I was rude or yelled at her or anything! I just kinda forgot that personal space thing, and she wasn't happy about it. She didn't get angry! She just … looked upset … so … yeah." Kristoff coughed, and she blushed. "It's not like I threw her against a wall or something! Geez!" A second too late she realized how the last could be interpreted and started bouncing on her toes.

"Oh." Bulda's mouth opened several times as though she wasn't sure how to respond. Finally, she smiled again. "Well, there's never a wrong time for a gift, is there?" Her eyes lingered on Anna's face long enough for Anna to get really uncomfortable.

Kristoff grunted. "Come on, Anna."

With a nod, Anna turned toward the group of children now running around with various parts of Olaf's body, playing some bizarre version of tag. "This might take a while." She sighed.

"Oh, let Olaf stay here," Bulda said with her usual smile. "The little ones love when he comes, and it isn't often enough. I'm sure Kristoff can pick him up tomorrow or the next day." She glanced over as well. "It likely would take too long to reassemble him, anyway."

"Y-yeah. Um. Okay, I guess." Anna leaned over and hugged her quickly. "I guess I'll see you later?"

Bulda set her back with an even bigger smile. "Don't worry, dear, things always sort themselves out, given time."

"Say goodbye to everyone else, for me?" She was surprised when Kristoff took her arm and tugged. "I guess we better … yeah. Rain is bad, so…."

The matron troll simply nodded, but Anna felt her gaze as she and Kristoff headed back to the sleigh. Kristoff was silent and his hand remained on her arm. It wasn't tight, and she found more comfort in it than irritation, but he clearly wanted to keep her from wandering off.

Sven didn't want to cooperate, and it took almost as much time dragging him away from the vent he'd curled up next to as it would have to get Olaf back into one piece. Finally, however, they got him into the harness and prepared to leave.

As she was climbing into the sleigh, she heard Bulda call her and turned to find the troll gesturing her to come back. Hesitating, she looked at Kristoff who shrugged.

"Better see what she wants."

Stepping down, Anna slowly returned. Bulda met her halfway with a smile. "I almost forgot. You've earned a crystal for your first vision," the matron troll said quietly.

"Huh?" Anna glanced past her and saw Grand Pabbie studying her with an inscrutable face. "I … I don't really think I deserve … that is …."

Bulda made a noise and pressed a small leather pouch into her hand. "The vision chooses the crystal, and yours chose this."

They'd drawn the attention of several other trolls, and quickly a crowd formed around them. "But … I'm not a troll …" Anna was keenly aware that Kristoff was watching her and wondered why Bulda hadn't come to the sleigh. Getting a crystal was strange but he'd see it anyway, so it was even more confusing.

"As close as a human can come," Bulda replied. Dozens of eyes blinked in agreement as the other trolls nodded their heads. "And this was meant for you."

With a sigh, Anna tipped the bag and let the necklace slide into her had. A rose crystal pendant glittered in the sun. It was hexagonal, perhaps two inches long, encased in a delicate silver wrap in the shape of a flower on two sides. The chain it was attached to was of braided silver, and the whole thing felt strangely warm in her palm.

"I can't … this is … but, I shouldn't—"

"Anna, stop; you have earned this, and it will serve you well in the future." Bulda hesitated and then sighed. She leaned in and spoke in a whisper. "The answers you seek will change the course of your life—and that of your True Love. This may help guide you to those answers."

Anna shifted. She could feel a pull from the crystal, but she hesitated nonetheless. "It's really beautiful, and I'm honored to be given something like this, but … unless it glows when I get next to my True Love, I'm not sure if it will help or just make me more confused."

The matron burst into laughter. "No, it doesn't glow." She gave the redhead a sly look. "At least not because of that."

"Then what—"

Kristoff started to think his mother had launched into another dialog about something Anna clearly didn't want to discuss and grunted loudly. "Rain, remember?" He raised his voice enough to be heard. "Don't get all sappy again." He hated how long it took Anna to say goodbye. She was just so _nice_ to everyone. He liked that about her, but it made for incredibly long farewells and whatever she and his mother were talking about was looking like it would take forever for finish.

"I …" Anna looked around the expectant faces of the trolls and swallowed hard. "Thank you." She fastened the clasp behind her neck; the pendant fell just between the top of her breasts. She looked again at the elder troll, who hadn't moved from his position, and waved awkwardly. He nodded in return.

"Now, you'd best run along, or you won't finish your errand. You certainly don't want the Queen to miss out on her present, hmm?" Bulda's voice was tinged with laughter, as if she knew the reason Anna was getting her sister a gift.

 _Why do I get the feeling she knows?_ Coughing softly, Anna nodded. "Um … thank you again. I guess … I'll see you soon?" _She can't read my mind. They can't do that, right? All of this can't be because of … no. There's no way she knows what I saw just now—and there's really no way she knows I kissed Elsa._

With one more hug, which turned into several as all the trolls crowded in for their turn, she rejoined Kristoff, flopping onto the sleigh's seat with a noise of relief. Her hand instinctively closed around the crystal; she didn't want him to see it yet. Why, she wasn't sure of, but she wasn't ready for the discussion she knew would be coming when he did. He glanced at her, but didn't have a chance to say anything before the mob of moving rocks found him. Anna bounced her knees nervously as he accepted a few more hugs himself.

Another five minutes later, they were leaving the Valley. The Valley, the trolls, the vision that still made Anna nauseous—she wanted to leave them far behind. Not forever, but until she could sort through the emotions still racing through her mind. Kristoff was silent, much to Anna's relief. Things were strained on the way up; she didn't want to know how bad it would be on their return trip.

Kristoff glanced at his companion. There was a lot on his mind, and most of it concerned the woman next to him, but he kept to himself. It was probably not a good idea to start discussing their relationship when they were going to be trapped together for hours. Anna was obviously deep within her own thoughts, and he suspected those thoughts were very similar to his—though he wondered what could have shaken her so much that she clearly wanted to leave.

She'd been given a crystal at the end, though for what he wasn't completely certain. It was something important—and personal if his mother called her away to give it in private. Anna also closed her hand around the pendant the moment she got into the sleigh; it didn't look like she did it intentionally, which made him suspicious she wasn't sure she wanted him to see it, or that she might take it off once they were out of the Valley. The second would be strange, given Anna's love of his family, but her posture suggested she was torn about something and the pendant made the most sense.

He had several crystals himself, though he kept them hidden under his shirt, but to his knowledge no other human had ever been given one, so it made sense for it to be more than a simple award. He was very curious, but he didn't want to ask when she was still apparently uncertain about it.

They were well out of the Valley, before either spoke, and it was Anna who broke the silence. "Is it really going to rain?" She was suspicious that wasn't the reason for Kristoff's hasty departure.

"Not until late." Kristoff shifted and coughed. "I just knew Mom would keep you there all day if I let her—and you looked uncomfortable, so I thought you might want a reason to escape."

"Thanks." Anna laughed despite worrying he would ask what her discomfort was about. "She was definitely gearing up for one of her talks."

Kristoff shrugged and chuckled. "Sounds like her. You got a crystal, too, huh? You must've done something pretty awesome." He tried to sound as conversational as he could. "They don't give those outside the clan."

Anna cocked her head. "You have them." He'd shown a few to her, but they were for minor things, such as learning to build a fire.

"Yeah, but I was adopted. You're…" he trailed off and looked away.

"Not a troll," Anna finished with a sigh. "I know. I'm confused about it myself."

Kristoff exhaled loudly. "So, what's it for?" With Anna, sometimes the only way to get an answer was to ask directly. She seemed willing to discuss it, so he risked annoying her.

"My first vision," she replied quietly. "I was pretty rude to Grand Pabbie afterwards, though. I can't imagine they'd be happy with me about it."

"Visions are weird. I've seen trolls act strangely after one, so I can only imagine what it'd do to a human." Kristoff drew in a breath. "Mine was weird, that's for sure."

Startled, Anna turned to him. "You've had a vision?"

He nodded. "I wanted to know who my real parents were when I was a teenager."

"And?"

Kristoff stared at his lap, avoiding eye contact with Anna. "It wasn't what I expected." He looked up at her for a moment, with an expression that didn't quite mask the pain. "Everything was clear and then it wasn't—now I'm not sure what I saw—but I was left with the impression that they're both dead." His gaze fell back to his lap.

Anna released the pendant and reached over to put her hand over his. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

He shook his head and smiled wanly. "I told you, visions are—" he cut off, his eyes widening. _Is that…? Nah, it can't be._

"What's wrong?"

"Um, nothing … that's just a really nice crystal." There was no point telling her what was most likely a tall tale.

Drawing her brows together, Anna studied him. "Is there something unusual about it? I mean, the wrapping is pretty intricate, so … is it special to the clan or something—maybe Bulda gave me the wrong one?"

"No … no, if Mom gave it to you, it was meant for you. It's just that…" he stopped himself. "I'm sure you're meant to have it."

Anna narrowed her eyes; she wanted to know more, but wasn't sure if asking would make Kristoff less willing to tell her.

He read her face and sighed. "Grand Pabbie usually awards the vision crystal, unless…." When Anna's gaze never wavered, he looked away and continued. "Unless the vision is really specific."

"Why … what does it mean that Bulda gave it to me?" Anna tried to stay calm though she had a feeling the discussion she dreaded was about to launch.

"That … that's the—" he couldn't bring himself to tell her. "She was making sure you didn't say no," he said instead. "She's sneaky that way."

Anna growled. "You aren't telling me something important."

Kristoff was silent for long enough that Anna crossed her arms and growled again. Finally, he surrendered. "There's a story about a crystal like yours. Supposedly, it was made by Freyja herself. Whoever wears it is blessed by the Goddess, etcetera, etcetera. Of course, that's silly."

"Wait … what? Freyja?" Anna blinked several times, trying to process what he'd said. "What's that supposed to mean? Why would the trolls give me something like that … Bulda said it would help me find my True Love, but …. Oh! I meant … be sure of my True—that is—" _Crap. I didn't want to bring that up._

She hadn't thought about it until now, but though the pendant remained warm in her hand, nothing changed when she got next to Kristoff. If Bulda was right, then he couldn't be her True Love. She'd been almost certain of that after her first talk with Grand Pabbie, and even more certain after the second, but this was a concrete signal, should she believe what the matron troll told her.

Kristoff considered how to respond to Anna's comment. She'd almost come out and told him she wasn't in love with him, even though she immediately started backpedaling. It was painful to admit, despite only confirming what he already knew about the future of his life with her, but if his mother said the pendant would help Anna find her True Love, and if it was given for her first vision, then what the redhead saw didn't involve him.

Beyond that, if the stories were true—and if the crystal on her chest was the same one—the True Love the princess would find _couldn't_ be him. Finally, he managed a smile. "It will definitely help you find your True Love. Even if it isn't me. Not that I'm saying it isn't me! It's just … that … when you realize who—you'll know, trust me."

Relieved that Kristoff didn't jump on her admission and start a conversation about it, but confused by his sudden withdrawal, Anna managed a laugh. "Well, Bulda said it won't glow, so I don't know how it's supposed to help me, Goddess or not."

"Y-yeah. Mom's always spinning tales, so I'm sure it's only a good story. She probably just figured it'd suit you." Kristoff laughed weakly as well. "It'll help you, though I doubt she'll—he'll! _He'll_ —be glowing or anything when you meet him." It was confusingly strange to consider, but he strongly suspected that whatever had Anna so rattled involved Elsa. _Did she finally figure it out? That'd put a real twist in her world. Maybe that's why Mom chose that crystal for her? But … that would mean the story has some truth to it, wouldn't it?_

Just because he was leaving more convinced than ever that Anna's future lay with her sister didn't mean Anna was thinking the same thing. He glanced at her before sighing and turning his attention back to the trail. He had his own problems to think about; worrying about Anna's shouldn't distract him from those. True Love was a lot more complicated than he thought; he just hoped he'd recognize it when it found him.

Anna didn't notice Kristoff's slip, concentrating too hard on the pendant hanging around her neck. The crystal was warm against her chest, even through her blouse. Still, she doubted—despite all the magic she'd seen the trolls do—it would help with the mess she'd gotten into. It also reminded her of what that mess was—and who was in the middle of it. She closed her eyes, wishing something would give her a simple answer, one that wouldn't throw her entire world into chaos.

 _Some answer that isn't about Elsa—no! No, don't consider it. There's no way that my True Love is Elsa! Or even a woman! … It must be a thin man, that's it! He's just slender and short … and really, really soft … with blue eyes and … It isn't a woman. It isn't Elsa._ She shook herself and tightened her hands into fists in her lap.

 _What do I do if it is?_

* * *

 ** _Author Notes:_** Things are starting to heat up in Anna's world. The next few chapters will decide whether she gives in to her heart or denies it completely.

As far as releases go, I have no promises. My real job is making it so I have little time to play. I am also awaiting surgery for some sort of fast-growing cataracts in both eyes. I've been wondering why it was getting harder and harder to read the monitor, one of the reasons for the erratic releases. It's hard to type when you have to sit 3" from a 42" tv/monitor to distinguish n from o. It seems every time I get something fixed, something else breaks. I guess it's my payback for being such a "lady" *cough, not* growing up.

Anyway, I doubt I will release anything for a few months. I suppose you'd call it a semi-hiatus, though I do intend to continue the story. Sorry that real life is coming in between me and Arendelle. I hope to see y'all soon.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13.**

The silence on the way grew painful as the hours passed. Without Olaf, it seemed as though sound had been banished from the world. Kristoff was as deep in his thoughts as Anna was in hers, and it was only when they neared Nygård's that she finally spoke. Even then, Kristoff didn't reply, merely grunted and made the turn. He hadn't remembered, and was glad for a few moments to himself while Anna was inside.

As they neared the spa, Anna's thoughts turned back to Gudrun, to how she saw her friend and whether it was as innocent as she'd always imagined. She already knew it was hard not to look at the woman's chest, but who wouldn't? Gudrun had never made comment about it, and she wasn't the type to hold things back. Still, the more Anna considered it the harder it became to deny that she felt differently around Gudrun than she did other women.

It wasn't a romantic feeling, of that she was certain, but physically … there was a reaction. It didn't always happen, but there were times—especially in the hot spring together—when her heart beat faster and she couldn't look without turning red. She'd always dismissed it as a reaction to the heat of the water, but if she was honest she knew that wasn't the reason.

 _Am I really attracted to her?_ Something Grand Pabbie said came back to her. Did she have the same reaction when a handsome man walked by? _No, I don't. He was right; thinking about seeing them naked is just_ —she cut off her thought and glanced at Kristoff. He was cute, he was nice, he was fun to be around, but when they kissed she felt nothing vaguely resembling what she'd expected she would.

She tried to imagine kissing Gudrun. She could, but she knew she never actually would. Not because it made her shiver, although it did, but because deep inside she realized Gudrun wouldn't like it. Gudrun didn't look at other women the way Anna did. She'd known that since they first met, though until now it never seemed important. She couldn't imagine past that, either.

 _Maybe Grand Pabbie was wrong. Maybe I'm wrong._ In all the times she'd been with her friend in the hot springs, she'd never had the slightest thought resembling what she remembered from her vision. If she really did like women, shouldn't there be _some_ kind of reaction to seeing one undressed—especially one as good looking as Gudrun? _Well, there is a reaction, but that's just embarrassment, isn't it?_ Gudrun was used to being nude around other women; Anna had never seen someone other than herself, so of course she'd look, wouldn't she?

It wasn't like she'd considered, even for a moment, doing more than look, either. _I haven't, have I?_ Besides, Gudrun wasn't one to mince words; if Anna was staring too hard she'd say something. She pictured kissing the blonde again. This time, it raised a strange sort of guilt that made her shift uncomfortably. She didn't think Gudrun would get angry, though she'd certainly be shocked, but Anna felt guilty just the same. That guilt came from somewhere else, somewhere Anna didn't particularly want to explore. _If I did kiss her, I'd be cheating on Kristoff; that's what, it has to be._

While that was true, she already knew it was over with him and just thinking was no reason to feel guilty in the first place. Even so, it still felt like she was being unfaithful, but to whom? The train of thought was quickly heading in a direction Anna was desperate to avoid, but as she tried to force it out of the way, the kiss she'd given Elsa rose in her thoughts. She did more than shiver mentally; Kristoff glanced at her when she physically shuddered. Turning pink, she smiled wanly at him and turned away. _There's no way that's the reason._ She couldn't be in love with Elsa, and even if she was, Elsa would like the idea less than Gudrun. "A lot less," she mumbled. She'd get frozen for the effort.

Kristoff glanced over at Anna a second time. She was muttering about her sister again. _I wonder what's going through her head. She almost looks like … nah, she'd never be thinking about Elsa that way. But if she is … she never looked at me like that._ He shook his head and forced his attention away. He didn't want to think about it just yet. There were too many things running through his head and Anna's expression was at the bottom of the list. Anna went silent again and he sighed before urging Sven to move a little faster.

Half an hour later, they pulled up at the spa and Anna quickly climbed down and went inside, eager for a few deep breaths before finding Gudrun. Her friend was remarkably perceptive and Anna didn't want any long explanations for being nervous. She tucked her necklace under her blouse. There was enough to worry about without having to explain how she got it.

Gudrun was in the back, and Anna bounced on her toes waiting for the younger Nygård sister to fetch her. She was staring at the rough beams of the ceiling when Gudrun came in, and jumped when she realized she was no longer alone.

"Hey, Gudrun! How's it go—" she suddenly imagined kissing the taller woman once more and turned red "—ing?" _No. No no no! Don't … stop thinking about it!_ She found herself staring at Gudrun's lips, red and inviting, and quickly averted her gaze as she realized what she was doing, only to stare even more keenly at Gudrun's breasts. The panic and guilt started tumbling in her stomach, but as hard as she tried, she couldn't take her eyes off of them.

Gudrun narrowed her gaze. "It's going," she responded slowly. Anna was clearly uncomfortable, but she couldn't imagine why. "How did it go up in the Valley?" When her friend turned slightly pale, she wondered if she'd hit one of the reasons for Anna's unusual nervousness.

"Um … it went … ok." Anna coughed and forced her attention to Gudrun's eyes, drifted down to her lips again and dropped her gaze to the floor. "I know we're back early, so if you weren't finished with that basket…."

"I'm finished. I need to put everything together, but that's it. Come on back." Gudrun stepped aside to allow Anna past her into the hall, and the two walked silently down the corridor and around the corner to the workshop. "I did two different soaps," she said to break the silence. "One will lather in colder water than the other, so I thought the Queen might like it for her hands."

Anna started and let out a weak laugh. "Soap, right. Elsa loves nice-smelling soap." She went from studying Gudrun's body to imagining Elsa in the bath in an instant, and it was enough to make it hard to breathe. _Stop right now, Anna. You're overreacting because of that stupid vision._

"Anna, are you ok?"

With another weak laugh, Anna nodded. "Just tired. It's a long ride up and back." _It was longer in silence._ If she'd had things to think about less terrifying than what she'd seen about Elsa, it might have been a pleasant silence, but as it was it only reinforced her confusion. That Kristoff seemed unperturbed by—even welcoming—it made her worry she'd let something slip she didn't want to.

Gudrun studied her. Something was definitely wrong. Anna kept looking at her breasts with an expression suggesting she was more aware of the habit than she had been that morning. More aware and more embarrassed, as if she was staring for the very reason Gudrun had dismissed after the Princess left. _What happened up there? She sure jumped when I mentioned the Queen._

Unwilling to push the matter, she turned and started filling the large wicker basket she'd chosen to hold the selection of items she'd made along with what the Princess picked out that morning. She could still feel Anna's gaze and shifted uncomfortably.

After a few long seconds, Anna realized she was staring again and needed to say something to break the tenseness of the air. "Oh, you promised to meet Kristoff!"

"I did, didn't I?" Gudrun glanced at her. "Did you warn him?"

"About what?"

With a chuckle, Gudrun turned back to her work. "That I'm probably taller than he is."

Anna considered her for a moment. It was clear her friend knew she was nervous and trying to pretend she didn't. "I've described you plenty of times." She managed to chuckle herself. "Besides, Kristoff is easy going about pretty much everything, so even if you are it won't throw him too far. I think he has an inch or so on you, though."

 _Why hasn't she ever described him to me, then?_ Girly blond hair aside, that was. Gudrun had to admit to being curious, despite her discomfort at meeting someone else from the orphanage. "That's good."

She turned back to her work. Her curiosity had been growing since that morning, for some reason. Maybe it was the way Anna insisted on the promise but never told her what he looked like. Whatever the reason, Gudrun was finally ready to meet him. _I hope I don't know him._ She shook herself and reached for the last of the candles. Anna had turned her attention to the wall, bouncing on her toes again. _Whatever's up, she's really rattled._

Anna _was_ rattled. As much as she wanted to dismiss the feelings rushing through her, she knew they were real. She'd all but admitted to Grand Pabbie that she found women attractive in a physical sense, but to actually feel it was unsettling. _Goddess, please make it stop._ She tried to convince herself that she was only reacting because she'd been dwelling on the idea for two hours, which went as far as a glance back at her friend.

It was pointless; Gudrun's body hit her in places it shouldn't, and nothing she did would change the fact. She'd known it in the sleigh and she knew it now. The reaction wasn't particularly strong, but it was there. _Has it always been obvious and I just wouldn't listen to myself? I'm not really that dense—am I? Ugh … This can't be happening to me. It just can't._ With an inner groan, she turned her attention back to the wall, hoping her friend would be finished soon and she could escape the reality closing in on her.

* * *

Kristoff was so wrapped up in thought that he didn't process that Anna was calling him until the third time she yelled his name. Finally, he turned to look at her, and when he did, his jaw dropped. The blonde beside the Princess looked like she'd stepped out of a story about the Valkyrie. Without thinking, he leapt to his feet, only to crack his head sharply against a branch of the tree he'd stopped under. With a yelp, he grabbed the back of his head, hearing laughter from both women.

"You didn't mention he was as clumsy as you," Gudrun giggled quietly, taking in the image of the blond rubbing the back of his head and trying to appear like he meant to nearly knock himself out. _I see what she means about his hair._ The rest of Kristoff was anything but girly, however, and it took a few moments before she remembered she was staring at her best friend's boyfriend. Embarrassed, she looked away.

"I didn't?" Anna didn't try to hide her amusement quite as much as Gudrun. "Kristoff, come down and meet Gudrun!"

Clearing his throat, Kristoff got down and strode toward the pair. Gudrun, he assumed the blonde to be, got better looking the closer he got to her. Trying to maintain an air of cool detachment, he stopped and smiled. "Nice to meet you, Gudrun." When he stuck out his hand, he was impressed by the strength with which the blonde shook it.

"It's nice to meet you, too." Gudrun studied him. Now that he was closer, something tickled the back of her memory. Not about a Kristoff, but another boy from the orphanage. _What was his name?_ She was relieved he wasn't one of the boys who tormented her, but she couldn't shake the feeling she knew him.

Kristoff was having similar thoughts, though he couldn't think of a girl named Gudrun during his stay at the orphanage. "So, you put up with Anna, huh?"

With a laugh, Gudrun nodded, then laughed harder when Anna punched Kristoff in the arm. "So do you, I guess?"

"Nah, she's easy to put up with," Kristoff responded, ignoring Anna's attempts at pinching him. "Usually."

"I know what you mean." Gudrun continued to study him, trying to understand why she felt she knew him. "You sell ice, hmm?" When Kristoff nodded, she cocked her head. "You must get on pretty well with the Queen, then."

Kristoff coughed. "Oh, um…" Kristoff looked helplessly at Anna, who bit her lip and blushed slightly. "We … yeah, we get along all right. We don't really talk ice, though. Mine isn't magic."

 _That was vague._ The way Anna was looking at her with a warning expression was even more confusing. "So, this is Sven?" Gudrun moved quickly toward the reindeer, who was looking at her with his own expression—a remarkably human one, she thought. "He's handsome."

"Thank you." Sven tossed his head. "So are you."

Raising her eyebrows, Gudrun looked at Anna, who smiled nervously back. _She said he talked to his reindeer, she never said the reindeer talked back. And since reindeer can't actually speak, that means…._ She blushed and turned back to Sven, hoping there wouldn't be any more comments Anna might not want to hear.

"He meant pretty," Kristoff shifted nervously. _Of all the times for Sven to get chatty!_ "Well, more than pretty, but he … he's a little awkward around people." Gudrun looked completely baffled and a little worried, and he decided Sven would get a talking to when they got home. He coughed again and did his best to appear nonchalant.

Anna saw the expression on Kristoff's face and raised an eyebrow. She'd never seen him so dumbstruck by a woman; usually he glanced and moved on. He was staring at Gudrun like she was a goddess out of a painting. _Well, she kinda looks like one._ She'd seen plenty of men stare at her friend, but the look in Kristoff's eye was different. It was almost like the one on Elsa's face the first time she and Anna met the day of the coronation—though Elsa was just pleased to see her. _I would bet money they know each other. That's probably why he's looking at her the same way Elsa looked at me._

"You know, when Anna told me you were in the same orphanage as I was, I was a little nervous to meet you." Gudrun turned and caught Kristoff staring. A blush rose in her cheeks. Anna was looking at him, too, clearly not liking his expression.

"I don't remember you," Kristoff responded quickly, not considering how his words might be taken. "I'm pretty sure I'd remember someone like you."

Gudrun's blush intensified. "I was pretty scrawny back then. I mostly hid in my room, anyway."

"I was kinda scrawny myself. I got beat up more than once." Kristoff shifted. "I was glad to be out of that place, that's for sure."

Anna, looking between the pair, began to realize that Gudrun was giving Kristoff the same once over he'd given her. _Seriously?_ Gudrun had little use for men. It wasn't that she disliked them, she just found them irritating. Given some of the remarks Anna had overheard customers making toward the blonde, she couldn't fault her. Right now, she was looking at Kristoff with an expression suggesting she regretted not meeting him sooner. For some reason, even though she'd hounded Gudrun into meeting him in the first place, it irked her when they both glanced at her and immediately looked away, blushing.

It wasn't that she was angry they seemed taken with each other; it was actually something of a relief. What annoyed her was that they were so obvious in trying to avoid appearing to be. She'd expected them to like each other; she hadn't expected it to be more than a friendly meeting. It felt like she was suddenly a third wheel and it didn't sit well.

Gudrun caught Anna's frown from the corner of her eye and coughed. _Of course she isn't trying to play match-maker_. She wasn't as irritated as Gudrun would expect her to be, but Gudrun had no intention of being more than polite to her best friend's boyfriend. The situation was quickly growing awkward and she started trying to pull away without making it obvious she knew she was partly to blame for it.

"We should get going." Anna tried to keep the annoyance out of her voice. "I want to catch Elsa before dinner if I can." Putting the basket in the back of the sleigh, she climbed up onto the bench and looked at Gudrun and Kristoff with as pleasant an expression as she could muster. She was nervous about talking to Elsa, given the previous several hours, but she didn't want to watch her boyfriend—if only for the moment—and her best friend staring dumbfounded at each other either.

Kristoff broke his gaze from Gudrun's face. She really did look familiar, but he was certain he'd never heard that name in the orphanage. Anna was upset, too. She was trying to pretend she wasn't, but she never did a good job of hiding her emotions. Rubbing the back of his head, which was still tender, he coughed. "Yeah, I suppose we should … you know … um … me and Anna … we're going back to … that is…" he trailed off and blushed.

Gudrun sensed his confusion and wondered why he felt that way. _Does he like me?_ That could prove problematic, but for now she did her best to bring out the professional neutrality she used at work. "Let me know how the Queen likes the basket, okay?" After Anna nodded, she turned her politest smile on Kristoff. "It's very nice to meet you finally. Anna talks about you all the time." The lie slipped out before she could catch it.

Kristoff blushed again. "I, ah, yeah. Nice to meet you too." He joined Anna on the sleigh's bench and picked up the reins. Gudrun waved and he nudged Sven into movement. The ride thus far was uncomfortable, but he had a sinking feeling it would get more uncomfortable when they were out of sight of the spa. He didn't know why he reacted the way he did, and being unable to explain himself to Anna wouldn't go well.

Beside him, Anna stared at the road, chewing on her lip. She was upset, but didn't want to say something she didn't really mean. The only positive was the slight possibility Kristoff was taken with Gudrun in a way that meant he wouldn't be quite so devastated when she told him she wasn't in love with him. It made her angry, but at the same there was a tiny sigh of relief. She had too much to think about to decide which she wanted; either way he was looking, and that meant something important.

Leaning back, she turned her attention to the sky. She had to start somewhere, she just didn't know where. She was alone in it, too; the only two people she could talk to about it were the two she was so confused about. With an annoyed sigh, she closed her eyes and tried to make some sense of the muddle in her mind.

* * *

Elsa wasn't sure she'd ever been so happy to see the castle gates. The tour ran long, partially thanks to the rescue of young Peter, and after almost six hours she was more than ready to be rid of her companions. After leaving the farm, little was said about her unplanned display of magic, but it was clear the matter was on the minds of all four men riding with her.

Finally, the carriage stopped in the courtyard and the party disembarked. Elsa tried to stretch surreptitiously, knowing that rubbing her temples wouldn't be missed. She had a headache, and wanted nothing more than a short nap before yet another dinner. While she was contemplating how to graciously remove herself, a second presence drew her attention. Startled, she looked at Herr Carlsbaad with a weak smile.

"I do hope you enjoyed your tour," she said in her most polite voice, "and that Grottony will be satisfied that our obligations can be met as they always have."

"Indeed." The man made a noise very similar to a snort, though not quite as obvious. "It has been a most … unexpectedly enlightening … day."

Elsa inclined her head slightly, puzzled at his words. "Did you have questions I could answer? Mister Johansen is more knowledgeable than I am in the particulars of our trade, but I would do my best—"

"Yes, yes, Your Majesty. I'm aware of that." Herr Carlsbaad smiled, softening the insult Elsa thought she heard in his voice. "If you will excuse me for saying, it has been your company that has provided me with the most to consider."

"I'm sorry?"

The portly man cleared his throat. "You are aware of your reputation outside of Arendelle, Your Majesty; I am forced now to admit that it seems incomplete." He bowed slightly. "In fact, I believe our Prince Rudolph would find you most charming."

Confused, Elsa drew her brows together. The prince was third in line for the throne of Grottony, and the comment sounded suspiciously like Herr Carlsbaad was suggesting he might be a suitable partner for the Queen of Arendelle. _Great. Just what I_ **don't** _want to deal with._ She managed to keep her voice neutral when she responded, "I haven't had the pleasure of meeting him."

"He's a boor!" Monsieur Salome clearly didn't care that his tone was insulting, or that he was interrupting a private conversation. "Hardly someone Your Majesty would find tolerable."

"How dare you!" Herr Carlsbaad roared back. "Prince Rudolph is most certainly worthy of Her Majesty's attention!"

The Farsish trade counsel waved a hand in dismissal. "The beauty of your creation shows that you clearly appreciate the arts and sciences, Your Majesty. Farson is well known as the cultural center of Euralia, and there are half a dozen members of the Royal house who would better suit your interests. Prince Rudolph considers drinking to be a high sport."

Elsa started to panic as the two men glared at each other. Over their shoulders, she saw both Lord Aife and Mister Johansen trotting quickly her way. "I'm sure they are quite—"

"I insist that you consider Prince Rudolph if you entertain one of the fops Farson would attempt to foist on you," Herr Carlsbaad interrupted angrily.

"It would be wasted trip," Monsieur Salome retorted. "You haven't the standing to suggest such a thing to Her Majesty in the first place!"

"Nor do you!"

Closing her eyes, Elsa forced the chill rapidly descending to disperse. She then managed to maintain a slightly disinterested air. "I appreciate that you both have reconsidered your opinions of me, but I am not ready for the attentions of gentlemen in the manner you suggest. It isn't necessary to engage each other over the matter." She didn't bother getting upset with their lack of decorum; one thing she'd learned is stepping between the two when they were arguing was suicide.

"Gentlemen!" Mister Johansen reached the trio in time to hear Elsa's comment, and apparently read the situation instantly. "Lord Aife and I would very much like to hear your thoughts regarding our trade agreements in the areas we toured today. Let us retire to the gentleman's study for brandy and discussion."

Elsa drew in a breath to correct his use of the name for the room used for semi-formal meetings; it was decorated in a more manly style than the rest of the castle, but she hated the term "gentleman's study" when she was often present as well. Still, of all the arguments to make as far as the equality of women in government, it was one of the least important.

Instead, she smiled and nodded. "That sounds like a lovely idea; you may discuss the particulars of agreements while I prepare for dinner." She tried to make it sound like she was more interested in dressing than she actually was, but it was an excuse she'd learned almost always worked.

"Prince Rudolph is well-versed in matters of importance to an elegant lady such as yourself," Herr Carlsbaad replied. "He oversees our Tailor's Guild and keeps up to date on the latest fashions. I would hold him against any of Farson's pretentious nobility."

"He wears the same dresses," Monsieur shot back. "Of course he's aware of women's haut couture."

The Grottonian envoy bristled. "Farson purchases a great number of garments from us, so obviously you are aware of your inferiority where—"

Elsa cleared her throat loudly and he stopped. "Every country has sought after items, does it not? What would be the point of trade if they didn't? Certainly it would disadvantage those who do require materials that allow them to create their quality goods."

Apparently, the men all took her words as a veiled threat, because they straightened up and smiled disarmingly. "Of course, Your Majesty. An astute observance." Monsieur Salome's voice was almost as oily as Lord Aife's. "Some nations provide more superior goods, of course, such as—"

Mister Johansen interrupted again. "Gentlemen, I think matters of trade are best discussed privately, as you'll certainly agree."

"Indeed; Grottony does lack in decorum in most things." Monsieur Salome's words started the argument all over again; worse, they started extolling the virtues of their own possible suitors with even more fervor. Elsa closed her eyes and wished she could freeze something that would make them shut up without causing an incident. It did nothing to calm the argument, so she sighed and settled in to let Mister Johansen and Lord Aife try to get things back on course.

* * *

Anna didn't know whether she was happy to see the castle or scared of who waited within the gates. The ride became even more awkward after leaving Nygård's, and she'd almost forgotten about Elsa while struggling with how to take the clear spark between Kristoff and Gudrun—and what it meant for her and the mountain man. Almost. The closer they got to town, the more heavily her heart thudded in anticipation of seeing her sister.

 _It'll be fine. Once I see her, I'll know this whole thing isn't what I worried it would be._ She'd surrendered trying to pretend she didn't find women more attractive than men; her few minutes with Gudrun confirmed that beyond a doubt. It was a strange relief, but it left only Elsa to worry about. _There's no way I'm in love with my own sister. Just because I think she's beautiful doesn't mean I'm attracted to her._

Kristoff sensed Anna tensing beside him and glanced at her. He was a little confused that she hadn't mentioned the way he fumbled through meeting Gudrun. She was clearly unhappy about it, but she'd remained silent. He couldn't figure out how to explain himself, either. He didn't understand why he reacted the way he did; he'd met attractive women before, and he'd never fallen on his face over one. It was obvious enough that Anna saw, and that confused him even more.

 _We must've been in the orphanage together; why can't I remember her?_ Gudrun didn't remember him, either— _at least she said she didn't. She said she was scrawny; I guess girls can bulk up like I did. She's really solid, though. And curvy. And those eyes…._ Kristoff wondered for a moment if meeting Gudrun wasn't accidental. Anna had been trying to get them together almost since she met the blonde woman—why was it today that Gudrun agreed? Was it supposed to happen, so that he'd realize he needed to tell Anna the first chance he got?

That brought its own host of worries. As much as he felt Anna wasn't in love with him, her reaction raised a fear she actually was. He glanced at her again; she was staring at the castle with a stony expression. _What is she thinking about so hard?_ He sighed. Any other time, he'd ask and she'd tell him without hesitation. Any other time, they'd be acting like the couple they were supposed to be. Any other time, he wouldn't be almost nauseous about what he had to do and that he had to do it soon.

Anna noticed that Kristoff kept looking at her sideways, like he wanted to say something, or expected her to. There was plenty she wanted to, but nothing she dared. She knew she'd end up taking her frustration and confusion about the vision out on Kristoff, and it wasn't fair to him to do so. Still, the silence was driving her crazier than she already was. With a sigh, she turned to him and tried to smile.

"Quite the day, huh?"

Startled, Kristoff jumped. "Huh? Oh—yeah, quite the day." He laughed weakly. "A lot more than I expected."

"Yeah." Anna bounced on the seat. "Um, Kristoff … about Gudrun…." She watched him stiffen, his face turning flat. "I … ah … I couldn't help noticing you seemed to like her."

"She seems nice," Kristoff responded, trying to avoid blushing.

Anna drew in her breath. She didn't want to start a discussion about it now, but she had to say something or she'd explode. "She is. I … um … I'd like to talk about that later, ok? I mean, I felt a little ignored there, and it was really awkward, so … not that I'm unhappy you two finally met! I just felt like … well … it's not like I'm mad because you were looking at someone else—well, ok, I'm a little mad, but I don't want to discuss it right now, so later, ok?"

Kristoff blinked several times. Anna seemed nervous, and something told him it had less to do with him than her sister. The way she babbled was telling. "Later, yeah. That's fine. I know we have stuff to talk about, so … um … yeah."

An awkward silence fell. Anna bounced some more. They were getting closer to the bridge leading to the castle, and her nerves were buzzing with an energy that left her feeling like she was going to come out of her skin. "Stop obsessing about Elsa," she muttered before realizing Kristoff would hear her.

He did hear, and wondered why Anna instantly turned red. He watched her lift a hand and clutch her blouse at the chest, probably over the crystal still hidden underneath. She seemed even more distressed than she had when they first left the valley. _Something tells me it's going to be an awkward night between those two._ He wondered if Elsa would notice something was wrong. He wondered how many other people would. He wondered if Anna would notice others noticing. He wished he could head off what was coming, and knew he couldn't. It was between the sisters alone.

They reached the bridge. Anna tried desperately to find some calm inside the storm rapidly engulfing her emotions. She felt the hardness of the crystal in her hand and wondered what would happen when she finally came face-to-face with Elsa. Kristoff didn't speak again, and within only a few minutes they were in the courtyard and there was no more time to prepare.

"So, I'll see you tomorrow?" Anna tried to sound like she wasn't ready to collapse into a heap of anxiety.

"Um, actually … I have deliveries tomorrow." Kristoff shifted. It was true, but usually he could make time for Anna on the days he had to work. This time, he welcomed a day to himself. "Maybe day after tomorrow?"

Not wanting to show her relief, Anna nodded. "That sounds fine. Um, thanks for the ride." She retrieved the basket from the back of the sleigh and nodded at Kristoff again. "See you day after tomorrow."

Kristoff just nodded back and clucked at Sven. The reindeer glanced back and tossed his head with a snort before starting to move. Anna watched the sleigh pass through the gates again before closing her eyes and taking several deep breaths. _Ok, she's probably inside working. I have time to calm down._

Then she looked up and went white. Elsa stood by the front doors of the castle, talking with the group she'd taken the tour with. There was no way to get inside without passing her. Worse, parts of the vision came roaring back. The feeling of a woman's skin against hers, the sound of a familiar voice pleading, a breath coming in gasps— _no! Oh, no. This can't be happening. This isn't happening._ Looking at her sister left her with no excuses to deny it, though. It _was_ Elsa she'd seen in the misty vision. In that surreal moment, in that room she knew but didn't, she and her sister made love—and every fiber of her being wanted to do it again.

Anna almost dropped to her knees. Elsa noticed her and lifted a hand in greeting, but Anna couldn't respond. All she could do was stare and pray she was merely losing her mind, that she wasn't really _—Freyja, please …_

Elsa cocked her head in confusion. She hadn't noticed her sister's arrival, and there was no sign of Kristoff or the sleigh that suggested he was still there. Anna was staring at her, seemingly rooted in place. She was too far away to be sure, but Elsa was almost positive her sister was terrified.

It was an excuse to get away from the ongoing discussion about the merits of various men, and she smiled politely at the group. "Please, excuse me, gentlemen. I look forward to seeing you at dinner." Without waiting for response, she started across the courtyard toward her sister, who still hadn't moved.

 _She's coming this way. Nonono—why?_ Anna's panic increased the closer Elsa got. As the blonde's features came into sharper focus, Anna's body started to grow warm, the heat rising with every step Elsa took toward her. It was subtle, but there was no denying it and she realized the heat was coming from the crystal resting against the skin of her chest. The crystal Bulda said would help her recognize her True Love was pulsing with a subtle—but impossible to ignore—warmth.

Elsa wondered why her sister's expression turned to sheer panic as she neared her. _What happened?_ "Anna?" She finally got close enough to speak. "Are you alright?"

The Queen's voice, gentle, concerned, melodious, shuddered through Anna's body and she wondered if she might faint before she could make her feet move. Elsa looked concerned, and confused. Anna opened her mouth, but nothing came out. If Elsa came any closer … imagining her sister's soft body pressed against hers in a hug was too much. With a whimper, Anna forced herself into motion.

"Anna?" Her sister was coming toward Elsa now, but it was clear she wasn't pleased. "What's wrong?"

Anna got within touching distance before the panic won. Elsa's worried face was too close, and it would be too easy to kiss her, and Anna had to escape. She ducked her head and pushed past, shaking off her sister's hand when Elsa tried to stop her. She heard her name again and broke into a run.

Elsa's jaw dropped. _What the—_ Anna never refused contact, but she yanked her arm away from Elsa's hand like Elsa was going to freeze her with the touch. Worse, the redhead was now running full speed toward the castle, ignoring everyone in the courtyard. "Anna!"

Fighting tears, Anna ignored the guards who saluted as she crossed into the main hall and shouldered her way through the small group of courtiers standing there before taking the stairs two at a time and bursting onto the private wing. Only when she was inside her room, with the door securely locked, did she allow herself to feel the terror fully.

"It's true. It's really true." She slumped to the floor, dropping the basket beside her before burying her face in her hands. _It can't be. This isn't real._ The tears finally came. Of all the ways she'd imagined meeting her True Love, this was so inconceivable she wouldn't believe it possible if not for her own memories and the heat of the crystal still warming her chest. She was in love with Elsa. "No," she whispered raggedly before starting to sob again.

 _True Love doesn't always appear in a flourish of rose petals. It can be as simple as opening your eyes one day and seeing someone in a different light._

Grand Pabbie's words echoed in her head. The troll was right; there were no rose petals, no rainbows or harps, but Anna could no longer deny what was in her heart—what she'd known was there all along. It was hidden deep within, but it had been there for a long time. Anna knew that now, and it was so overwhelming that she screamed in an attempt to expend some tiny part of the emotions washing over her.

Elsa heard the scream as she came onto the hall. Anna sounded like she was in agony. She'd followed her sister as quickly as she dared, knowing it wasn't very regal but not caring that she was being stared at as intently as her sister. Now she broke into a full run and pushed at Anna's door; it was locked.

"Anna? Anna, let me in."

Elsa's voice was unexpected and Anna swirled back before remembering the door was locked. The heavy oak between them wasn't enough to keep her from feeling the same panic rising again. She didn't answer—she couldn't. She couldn't speak without saying the words that would make her sister hate her.

"Anna? Open the door!" Elsa banged against the wood. She heard faint sobs but Anna didn't respond. "What is _wrong_? What happened?" She tried the knob again, as if it might now turn. It didn't. "If you don't open this door I'm going to knock it down." She _could_ freeze the lock and shatter it, but the threat was merely an attempt to get a response.

Anna knew her sister could break in easily, and finally controlled her tears enough to get words out. "Go away!"

"Please, Anna—"

"Go away!" Anna's voice went up in panic. "Just leave me alone!"

Elsa's breath caught. How many times had Anna been the one begging for a door to be opened? Did she feel the same helpless confusion? For a second, Elsa considered actually breaking the lock, but knew it wouldn't make Anna more willing to talk to her. "Did I do something?"

"No. Please … stop." Anna wondered what would happen if Elsa found out the reason for her terror.

"Did Kristoff do something?" Elsa started getting concerned. Her sister had never locked a door against her. "If he upset you—"

Anna screamed again, in anger this time. "Leave me alone! Just go away and leave me alone!" _Leave me alone … I love you …_

"Not until you tell me—"

"No!" Anna banged hard against the door. "Go away, Elsa! Just get away from me!"

Elsa's breath caught. _I_ **did** _do something. Did she realize something from my reaction last night? She can't know … please, Freyja, she can't know._ "Anna…" her voice was so quiet she wasn't certain her sister would hear it. "Please…."

Anna heard the pain in Elsa's words and knew she likely thought she'd done something wrong. "It's me," she replied, chest heaving as she fought the tears. "It's all me. Please, Elsa … please leave me alone."

"O-ok." Elsa didn't know what else to say. Anna was obviously hurting, but equally clear she wasn't going to share the reason. She also needed to go back downstairs; there was still a lot of work left for the day and she couldn't ignore it even if she wanted to. "If you … I'll be … do you want Astrid?"

"No." Anna sniffled a few times. There were plenty more tears to be shed, but for the moment she was able to be calm, knowing she had to convince her sister she wasn't responsible for Anna's behavior. _Even if she is, indirectly._ "I … thank you."

Elsa swallowed. "I love you, Anna." There was no answer, and then the sobs resumed. Unwillingly, she turned and walked away.

It was long minutes later that Anna regained control again. She knew Elsa was gone, and hated herself for being relieved. Confusion continued swirling through her, however. How could she be in love with her own sister? Every attempt to deny it was met with another pulse of warmth from the crystal. Finally, she pulled it off and hurled it across the room.

 _True Love … is this what it feels like? This pain—I can't ever let her find out. I can't lose her again, even if it will be agony._ Anna pulled herself up and made her way to her bedroom, collapsing across the mattress in exhaustion. "I'm so sorry, Elsa," she whispered, staring at the canopy. "This is one secret you can never learn." Closing her eyes, she started praying again.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:** Life is still complicated, but with any luck I will have another chapter finished soon.


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